Positive Vibes Needed

[skiaholik]

I know its not ski related but whatever lots of vibes are needed. Someone close to me's mother had a relapse of breast cancer and just found out last week. She's back home now and starting chemo this week I believe. She had it awhile ago (I think like 6 yrs or more and beat it then) and now its back and currently in her lungs, liver and lymph nodes. Positive vibes are needed for her and her family, and even me. I've never really had too many cases of this so close and I need some advice. I'm trying my best to be there for her and her family, helping out with anything and everything that I can but I feel like I just can't do enough. That I wish I could just bear some of the emotional weight that they're enduring and give them a little bit of room to breathe or take some of the weight and stress off but I can't and I feel helpless. I don't know if I'm doing enough or even if I'm doing the right things. So from everyone's experiences with this what can I do to help how else can I be supportive and help them stay positive without sounding overly optimistic or anything like that. Thanks.

[Squirrel99]

Everyone reacts differently to cancer and so do their needs/wants when it comes to fighting it. So far it sounds like you have already done a lot. Making it known that you are available to help her with anything is important. Check in now and again to see how she's doing. Best thing you can also do is provide & project a positive attitude and let it rub off on her. With such a close relationship, this person already knows how much you care and that you'd be there for her.

Good thoughts & prayers from the Northwest +++++++++++

[skiingsamurai]

sorry to hear that my friend.

+++vibes+++

[NippleHighPow]

Sorry to here that dude. I hope everything turns out for the best. Give me a ring if you need to talk or anything. Hang in there. And remember staying positive is key.

+++VIBES+++

[Ottime]

Stay positive, be positive, pass on the positive. Just being there is a lot. Take care of mother. Provide meals (the food and the companionship) and hugs. Listen well. ++++vibes++++

[watersnowdirt]

sorry to hear about your friend's mom. Cancer is a rat bastard mother f'er.

One of the things that I think can be really helpful is rather than ask, "what can I do?", is to just take it upon yourself to go do something for her. Bring a casserole, go over and weed the garden or get the oil changed in her car - little things that you just don't want to deal with when you're sick.

It's much easier for people to accept help that way than it is to respond to the question "What can I do?", which, though well- meaning, takes too much energy to try to answer when you're sick.

Good luck and glad she has people like you supporting her!

[eCr412]

I know its not ski related but whatever lots of vibes are needed. Someone close to me's mother had a relapse of breast cancer and just found out last week. She's back home now and starting chemo this week I believe. She had it awhile ago (I think like 6 yrs or more and beat it then) and now its back and currently in her lungs, liver and lymph nodes. Positive vibes are needed for her and her family, and even me. I've never really had too many cases of this so close and I need some advice. I'm trying my best to be there for her and her family, helping out with anything and everything that I can but I feel like I just can't do enough. That I wish I could just bear some of the emotional weight that they're enduring and give them a little bit of room to breathe or take some of the weight and stress off but I can't and I feel helpless. I don't know if I'm doing enough or even if I'm doing the right things. So from everyone's experiences with this what can I do to help how else can I be supportive and help them stay positive without sounding overly optimistic or anything like that. Thanks.

I know how that is. My aunt had a relapse of breast cancer 5-6 times before it finally got the best of her, late last year.

+++ Vibes. Just being there for them, and spending time with them means alot to them.

[skiaholik]

It's worse. Much worse. Metastasized to her lungs and then to her brain. She's lost some of her speech ability and her balance. It could be a month maybe a couple but not much time. I don't know what to do or what to say. I've tried to be there for her and her mom and her sister and family but its tough. It's tough to see them go through it and to see her mother, someone I care about a lot, deteriorate in front of your eyes. She asks me what she should do or what she should think or how to act and I have no answers other than I don't know but I will by here for you through it all. Somehow it doesn't seem like it's enough but I don't know what to do. I don't really know why I'm writing this or what I'm looking for because I know she's going to die and nothing can change that and that there is no right thing to do or say or an answer but I guess I need to vent. It's going to be a long year.

[clarnitty]

don't feel bad about writing anything in this forum. skiing is already a crazily individualistic sport and sometimes we just need to talk about the more serious, and in this case, very shitty, sides of life. from one mag to another, this one's for you and her family.

+++++++++++