What do you do ...

[SnowHot]

1. Do you still love her?
2. Work on your communication as a couple

If she was really going to leave, she'd be gone. You'd come back home to a half empty home with no wife. Her style of communicating is not the best, but she's probably very frustrated with the current situation.

How did your relationship get to this point?

You need her to change. You don't want the threats anymore, so you want her to talk about the real issues so they can be addressed. You may already know what that root issue is. Can you compromise? Is she asking you to change? Can you do it?

If this is about picking up your socks and dirty drawers or some other relatively trivial thing you could do, but are just being stubborn about... man, just do it. If you are fucking up or fucking around, just stop.

If it's about fundamentally changing who you are, and the change would not be for the better (stop smoking, get drunk less often...) then you might be headed for divorce court.

Good luck. Being single may look great from the outside, but being single with alimony/child support payments is not so fun.

I think I threatened once or twice, because I was pretty desperate for change.

After nothing changed, I made a solid decision and never looked back.

(translation: it may truly be the beginning of the end)

Sprite

^^^^
These are some smart women!

This is a sign of something I realized a looooong time ago.
Men marry the women they want to BE with.
Women marry the men they want to grow with.

She's likely grown (evolved) more than you have over the years.
When women grow, they can't go back. Trust me!
Time for you to catch up?

[neck beard]

>Someone else will be on his best behavior to get a piece of this. Then you will be looking in from the outside, begging to get another chance.

What ever you do, don't let her appearance or your emotions of envy/jealousy/male pride and ego influence your decisions. If you let that drive you then it doesn't matter who's wrong or right... you'll make the bad decisions every time.

(I'm not saying attractive women are evil, I'm saying its hard for both men and women to handle when mixed with human emotional flaws. Its not alcohols' fault that people get drunk)

[mojorisin]

?!?

[Jer]

when your wife constantly threatens to leave your ass.

lame.

Throw her a good beatin'. Chicks love that. They never leave wifebeaters.

[NorCascader]

That's a funny article.

so...wifey leaves on a fire detail for 2 weeks.

Friday, I rolled to Wenatchee, stopped by a friends pad and he kicked me down a bud.

I went home, saw her off (oreos and M&M's).
I saw her go down the driveway....
So I was stoked to get stoned on a full bowl.

I smoked. She forgot her shoes. I was totally cheeched and busted.

just shows the nature of meathead

[fez]

as a friend of mine used to say, no matter how hot she is, no matter how cool you think she is, there is some dude somewhere who is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.*



*of course this does NOT apply to my lurking wife.
i love you sweetie!

[NorCascader]

my lurking wife....she hasn't really been on TGR since the snow melted.

She is the kind of lurker that goes straight to your name and searches all threads.

So...honey baby, this thread is for you

[iceman]

She is the kind of lurker that goes straight to your name and searches all threads.

So...honey baby, this thread is for you

Bold move.

If ganj was a dealbreaker here I'd have a problem with that.

[fez]

Bold move.

If ganj was a dealbreaker here I'd have a problem with that.

well, if you know she lurks, and start a thread like this without an alias, sounds to me like you are trying to say something to her without saying something to her.

[brice618]

I think I'm in love. ^^^



Back on topic - don't let her play games with you. Get the actual issues out on the table and deal with them. I have had the same sort of problems, only in dating situations where its easier to deal with I am sure, but you need to stand up for yourself and get things out there. You'll be a better man for it and you'll atleast know where the relationship actually stands besides having to fear an idle threat all of the time. DON'T BE HELD HOSTAGE BY HER THREATS, you won't ever deal with them if you're too afraid her.

[neck beard]

well, if you know she lurks, and start a thread like this without an alias, sounds to me like you are trying to say something to her without saying something to her.

People usually get what they want, usually without knowing what they want.

[Norcascadielady]

It comes down to me saying "you knew who I was before you married me".
she never likes that.

I have bad habits. drinksmokecuss

Never too excessive by my standards, but everyone has different opinions of what's what.
But I have fun and take really good care of my little family, she fell in love with me because of our craziness.

It's a yo-yo, I'm either in trouble, or about to be.

There is some really good advice here.
Amazing how TGR becomes therapy after awhile.

1) I Cuss more than you....
2) I fell in love with a man that rocked the outdoors, came home with dirt in yer teeth from biking, and crazy stories in the truck after skiing...
3) I am dirtier than you
4) I don't care about the ganga...but everything in moderation...you are retarded to talk to sometimes after a bowl...maybe keep it to once or twice a week when you have it.
5) The drinking gets way out of control...you aren't 21 anymore...you party like a rockstar...And I love it...but again you are retarded when you are drunk...and some nights I am not ready to deal with it...especially after a long day at work...6 beers a night...maybe a bit excessive...I don't know I am not saying either way...
6) You do take greaat care of our family...What girl gets to go fight fires for 14 days and know that everything at home is ok...that her son is being watched and her husband is dealing with it well...You are the best father ever!!! Der Ralphy...
7)I do lurk...just a tad....just to keep you on your toes....(bad Boy) Hanging the dirty laundry in TGR!
8)I have some issues I need to deal with as well...and sould searching like you said...You knew who I was before you married me too...a goody party girl...
9) I love you and really... unless you cheated on me or begame an alchoholic loser who couldn't pull his head out of his ass...I would never leave you...
10) Lets get drunk and float down the river this weekend!

[irul&ublo]

1) I Cuss more than you....
2) I fell in love with a man that rocked the outdoors, came home with dirt in yer teeth from biking, and crazy stories in the truck after skiing...
3) I am dirtier than you
4) I don't care about the ganga...but everything in moderation...you are retarded to talk to sometimes after a bowl...maybe keep it to once or twice a week when you have it.
5) The drinking gets way out of control...you aren't 21 anymore...you party like a rockstar...And I love it...but again you are retarded when you are drunk...and some nights I am not ready to deal with it...especially after a long day at work...6 beers a night...maybe a bit excessive...I don't know I am not saying either way...
6) You do take greaat care of our family...What girl gets to go fight fires for 14 days and know that everything at home is ok...that her son is being watched and her husband is dealing with it well...You are the best father ever!!! Der Ralphy...
7)I do lurk...just a tad....just to keep you on your toes....(bad Boy) Hanging the dirty laundry in TGR!
8)I have some issues I need to deal with as well...and sould searching like you said...You knew who I was before you married me too...a goody party girl...
9) I love you and really... unless you cheated on me or begame an alchoholic loser who couldn't pull his head out of his ass...I would never leave you...
10) Lets get drunk and float down the river this weekend!

Sounds like she's a keeper to me...now why don't you two kids go get a room and bonk your brains out. No TR requested.

[Odin]

That's a funny article.

so...wifey leaves on a fire detail for 2 weeks.

Friday, I rolled to Wenatchee, stopped by a friends pad and he kicked me down a bud.

I went home, saw her off (oreos and M&M's).
I saw her go down the driveway....
So I was stoked to get stoned on a full bowl.

I smoked. She forgot her shoes. I was totally cheeched and busted.

just shows the nature of meathead

Sack up and put down the pipe. You can always get weed, you can't always get a quality womang.


From her quote:

you are retarded to talk to sometimes after a bowl

There is nothing more infuriating than talking to someone who doesn't give a shit because they are stoned or drunk and doesnt care about the conversation.

She isn't asking anything drastic, just keep your vices in moderation. You aren't Hemmingway or Tommy Lee, buck-o

[Stone-Free]

Dood...

If my wife was 1/2 that cool...

I think you need a hard slapping to realize just what you've got.

[NorCascader]

commencing-to-sak-up!!!!

invitation for river madness accepted.

[Lonnie]

...now why don't you two kids go get a room and bonk your brains out. No TR requested.

But would be appreciated....

[pappag]

Sing it...

"Love is in the air..."

[RootSkier]

Awwww...how sweet.

[Art Shirk]

A TGR love story. Have fun rafting

[train07]

commencing-to-sak-up!!!!

invitation for river madness accepted.

If you don't stay sak'd up, we'll all come kick your ass.

[train07]

I'm sorry NorCascader, I'm wrong. You need to do it on yur own not because we'll come kick your ass. Good luck, man.
I have a story regarding similar circumstances. I'm full of stories these days. My ski buddy parties way hard. I mean way fkn hard. I went on a trip with him this season and his partying not only fucked up my trip some, but got me concerned for his future. I assumed his wife was well aware of his continuing passions cause i've been together with them both at other affairs and they share a love for the white stuff (or, she did). So, I'm seriously worried and on the way home tell him about my concerns and how I'll kick his ass if he blows his life (pun intended, sorry). Ya know, the business, kids, wife. One day, not long after, his wife calls for miscellaneous stuff and I mention how concerned I am about her husband. She says, "Why"?
I then go into detail about the partying he his buds did on our trip (all of them, like, on "vacation" from the wives...not my words), about the blow, no hookers though, and about how this interfered with some aspects of our trip. Ya know, like ripping the shit outta stuff. I mentioned this in some other post.
Anyway, I get a call at work not long after my phone conversation with his wife..
HeY, "train", what the fuck man!! I can't come home!! I'm down here working in Penn. and my wife is telling me to stay there!! WTF man!... you broke the guys code!!" (he promised his wife he gave the shit up, she gave it up way before.. she baited him, he lied, and then she sprung my info...)

I'm sorry, now it's funny, but then my jaw was on the fkn floor. I ended up offering him my place while I went on my own work trip. They're back together. I gained some respect for my concern but, shit.... do ya think I won't be invited on the trip next season??



and oh yeah, now I've got some sak'n up to do on my own..which means stepping awayyy from the computer.

[TyWebb]

That was a pretty epic back and forth - quality lady.

[rungsp]

If she is right and it is 6 beers a night, every night, then you probably have a drink issue.

Sorry to say it, but I am waaaay too familiar with that issue from close friend's experience.

She sounds like (and looks like!) a great gal....don't blow it, sort it.

[Shorey]

If she is right and it is 6 beers a night, every night, then you probably have a drink issue.

Sorry to say it, but I am waaaay too familiar with that issue from close friend's experience.

She sounds like (and looks like!) a great gal....don't blow it, sort it.

Depends if they are pussy half sized beers or grrrrr pint British beers.


Noice that this has ended up good. A fine way to start the working day.