A step-by-step guide

[bagtagley]

by bagtagley

This is how you get out of mowing the lawn

1) Put off mowing the lawn for way too long

2) Look at hip high grass and wonder wtf you're gonna do

3) Reverse throttle spring on mower engine so that it's wtfo

4) Don't fix mower because you repeat step 1

5) Go out for mow 3, fire it up, walk to end of lawn, realize you need to fix the throttle spring, walk back towards shed (without shutting mower off) and watch in astonishment as the connecting rod goes flying out of the side of the engine

6) Tell wife that you can't mow the lawn because you need to buy a new mower

[babel]

7. Pay local kid(s) to mow it for you.

My buddy and I made bank in middle/high school thanks to people just like you. So on behalf of said local kids- I thank you.

[bagtagley]

7. Pay local kid(s) to mow it for you.

My buddy and I made bank in middle/high school thanks to people just like you. So on behalf of said local kids- I thank you.

People like me? That Tecumseh got what it deserved. I'm a Briggs and Stratton man anyway. New mower is working great, punk kids can continue to piss-off.

[Tippster]

Honda. Nothing even remotely compares.

[pechelman]

5) Go out for mow 3, fire it up, walk to end of lawn, realize you need to fix the throttle spring, walk back towards shed (without shutting mower off) and watch in astonishment as the connecting rod goes flying out of the side of the engine

worthless without pictures

[steve]

the beauty of this plan is that you won't mind cutting the grass - it's an excuse to use your new lawnmower.. (cue gorilla grunts)

[snow_slider]

Honda is good if you like residential mowers, but for REAL power move on up to a commercial mower. I just got this:


and now I actually WANT to go out and mow the lawn.

[Steven S. Dallas]

Step one
We can have lots of fun, mowing
Step two
There's so much we can do, other than mow
Step three
Its just you and me, new lawnmower
Step four
I can give you more lawnmowing performance
Step five
Don't you know the time has arrived to mow........

[Tye 1on]

Honda is good if you like residential mowers, but for REAL power move on up to a commercial mower. I just got this:


and now I actually WANT to go out and mow the lawn.

With a name like Scag, how could it NOT be a good mower?

[Jer]

Step 1: Decide you like a freely growing and evolving mixture of native grasses and wildflowers.

[snow_slider]

With a name like Scag, how could it NOT be a good mower?

That's the main reason why I got it. I LOVE that name. It sounds dirty.


Plus, it has a cupholder for my beer.

[Art Shirk]

Plus, it has a cupholder for my beer.

No shit? Wow, truly inspired.

[endlesswntr]

The manual push-reel mower is the only valid variety.

[summit]

this guy will prolly do it for free

[yentna]

Plus, it has a cupholder for my beer.

Sold!!!





And I grew up with a manual push-reel mower. Never again. Um, yeah. Never again.

[lemon boy]

My lawn continues to frustrate my feeble attempts at making it look nice, what with the giant dead patches, random not-grass-not-really-weeds things and different species of grass sown in for variety but the walk behind mower just keeps draggin me down…but it keeps going and is at least self propelled What I really want is a small riding mower that has a snowblower attachment and a beer holder.

[bagtagley]

My lawn continues to frustrate my feeble attempts at making it look nice, what with the giant dead patches, random not-grass-not-really-weeds things and different species of grass sown in for variety

Tree of Heaven has become my fave. We have 3 in our yard alone. Come mid-summer, if I'm not mowing weekly, those things take over. If I wasn't renting, I'd cut them down. Then again, if I wasn't renting, I wouldn't have grass that needs cut and watered constantly.

[irul&ublo]

Tree of Heaven has become my fave. We have 3 in our yard alone. Come mid-summer, if I'm not mowing weekly, those things take over. If I wasn't renting, I'd cut them down. Then again, if I wasn't renting, I wouldn't have grass that needs cut and watered constantly.

Easy solution...quit watering.

[babel]

People like me? That Tecumseh got what it deserved. I'm a Briggs and Stratton man anyway. New mower is working great, punk kids can continue to piss-off.

Heh- Alright we'll rephrase- people in a similiar position to you with more money then they need.

[bagtagley]

Heh- Alright we'll rephrase- people in a similiar position to you with more money then they need.

Lazy and broke...story of my life.

[Telemarketeer]

When I was like 13 I put sugar in the gas tank of our mower so it wouldn't work. It kept running so I put dirt in it. Still ran! Then I hid it in the woods behind my house and said it must have gotten stolen. That worked, till my dad bought a new mower. He found it like 3 years later and got all pissed. I said that there was a statute of limitations for grounding me but he didn't agree. He took away my drivers license (just got it) for a few weeks and made me pay for the new mower with my first paycheck from Mcdonalds!

I've grown up since then. Now I just pay immigrants to do it.