Career problem: I'm irresistable

**Platinum Pete** · 03-12-2004, 01:01 PM

I was offered a job as a part-time sales & marketing consultant and part-time mountain guide yesterday. The money isn't great, but I need to get out of my current gig and would have a lot of fun and joy doing the sales/marketing/guiding business. Everything was worked out and we were going to put a contract together, and then it fell to shit.

My would-be boss is a friend, the sole-proprietor of the business, and we tried dating a while back. The dating didn't work for me, so after 2 dates we discussed it and settled on being friends (this was 4 months ago). Now she has this opportunity to expand her business and knows I'm the guy for the job and that I need to flee my current job, so everything was going to work out. We were going to write the contract over the weekend, but she calls me last night and says she can't work with me for various reasons. Salesman that I am, I solve her objections and try to close the sale (keep the job), when she says, "Okay, the real thing is that if I worked with you everyday I know my feelings for you would come back and screw everything up." She has a crappy dating history and the way I am not dating her is the same as many men, and she feels like having me around would be looking failure in the face daily.
I offered to be an asshole, but that didn't work.
This is not my area of expertise. I told her we should think things over, and talk again Monday to see if there's a way to make this work. So, how do I solve this problem and get this contract and have a great summer? C'mo magg's I need real help on this one.

**frozenwater** · 03-12-2004, 01:09 PM

tell her that you didn't want to get close to her, because you never before experienced such overwhelming feelings. That she is all the woman you'll ever need, then throw her down on the desk and give her what she has dreamed of every night since she met you.

get the job, get good pay, get some action, at the end of the summer move on.

--worried about the friendship, don't be, she does not see you as a friend and never will. She is to madly in love with you. Use it.

**mushmouth** · 03-12-2004, 01:09 PM

how much daily face to face contact would there be with her??

**Vinman** · 03-12-2004, 01:12 PM

Any way you could do the marketing/sales part of the job from home and not have to be incontact with her too much?

Shoot the hostage

**Platinum Pete** · 03-12-2004, 01:13 PM

Originally posted by mushmouth
how much daily face to face contact would there be with her??

She runs the business from her home office, so we'd be working almost side by side for at least 18 hours per week, plus co-guiding some of the groups.
Frozen's idea: I couldn't pull it off.

**DougW** · 03-12-2004, 01:14 PM

Originally posted by mushmouth
how much daily face to crotch contact would you be getting from her??

**trainnvain** · 03-12-2004, 01:15 PM

I offered to be an asshole, but that didn't work.

That always gets the job, No?

If someone you would potentially work for can't control their emotions in the workplace, walk. Sad but true. Find a similar job elsewhere. If you're burnt with what you're doing now, the first reaction is gonna be to be a little hasty in your decision making when a job offer comes along. Be patient and find something similar if you can't 100% be certain (the both of you) that there will be no personal conflicts in the future upon your next meeting.

**Platinum Pete** · 03-12-2004, 01:30 PM

Originally posted by Vinman
Any way you could do the marketing/sales part of the job from home and not have to be incontact with her too much?

I may be able to pull this off, and it's a good idea.
I think the real move is to make her feel emotionally assured and solid in the idea that she won't get all bent out of shape. If she had a boyfriend, this wouldn't be a problem, but finding her a boyfriend this weekend is a tough task.
Trainvain, you're right; but there are not many opprotunties like this around. It's the type of opportunity I have been waiting for and trying to make happen for a long time, I don't want it to slip. I believe a solution can be found.
Really, I thnk if she works with me and gets to know me better, she'll romanticize me less and think of me more as a bro. The "face failure daily" piece is tough to solve.

**watersnowdirt** · 03-12-2004, 01:30 PM

I agree with trainnvain. You need to walk away from this one. Sounds like she's given it a lot of thought, and knows she can't do it. You need to respece her decision and not try to talk her back into it. If you're a good salesman, which it sounds like you are, you will likely talk her into it. But she's going to feel even worse about things, and your days will be awkward, and your friendship will suffer.

**mushmouth** · 03-12-2004, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by Platinum Pete
She runs the business from her home office, so we'd be working almost side by side for at least 18 hours per week, plus co-guiding some of the groups.
Frozen's idea: I couldn't pull it off.

...sounds like she's being honest about her feelings and it doesn't seem like you could avoid being with her for any significant time each week.
It's her biz, she knows herself, and sounds like you being there would not work. If you do push and try ot get on board, she'll probably end up pulling crazy women shit on you as her feelings go on the roller coaster ride she's expecting them to.

--edit for the ladies--

i should have labelled the idea of pushing to get on board as "pulling crazy man shit", but i didn't recognize it right away...

**Platinum Pete** · 03-12-2004, 01:42 PM

The idea of me not getting this job because she doesn't have a boyfriend is as stupid as me not getting promoted at my current job because the bosses think a woman could close more new accounts (as pronounced in a meeting with the company president).
Good grief. As a hetero white male, I shouldn't complain about a couple missed opportunities for bad reasons, but dumb is dumb.

**mushmouth** · 03-12-2004, 01:50 PM

Originally posted by Platinum Pete
The idea of me not getting this job because she doesn't have a boyfriend is as stupid as me not getting promoted at my current job because the bosses think a woman could close more new accounts (as pronounced in a meeting with the company president).
Good grief. As a hetero white male, I shouldn't complain about a couple missed opportunities for bad reasons, but dumb is dumb.

first...some people have it A LOT worse.

second... there have got to be better people to work for then those who are so unprofessioanl as to put their feelings ahead of their own business. this is all probably a blessing in disguise.

trump would have fired this bitch her first trip into the board room.

**Superstar Punani** · 03-12-2004, 02:10 PM

Shoot the hostage

KQ · 03-12-2004, 02:13 PM

Originally posted by mushmouth
first...some people have it A LOT worse.

second... there have got to be better people to work for then those who are so unprofessioanl as to put their feelings ahead of their own business. this is all probably a blessing in disguise.

trump would have fired this bitch her first trip into the board room.

Agreed - don't go down this path. It has "regret" written all over it.

**TheDingleberry** · 03-12-2004, 03:22 PM

Originally posted by KQ
Agreed - don't go down this path. It has "regret" written all over it.

But for her not you. You can't help it that you got it goin on. I say take the job and keep her on the edge of her seat. Put the ball in your court.

Sounds like it would be a kiiler gig. She will change her mind about you if you keep it professional. Or she could freak out and go psyco, cause most of em are.

**irul&ublo** · 03-12-2004, 03:25 PM

Career problem: I'm irresistable

Check with Punani. Maybe he can get you into the Man Ho union.

**phUnk** · 03-12-2004, 06:36 PM

Originally posted by Punani
Shoot the hostage

Or just throw it in 'er. [/quaint highschool redneck phrase]

**irul&ublo** · 03-12-2004, 06:40 PM

BTW....what she is doing is illegal under Title VII as either gender discrimination or sexual harassment.

**phUnk** · 03-12-2004, 06:50 PM

Originally posted by irul&ublo
BTW....what she is doing is illegal under Title VII as either gender discrimination or sexual harassment.

That may be true, but what options does that really provide (besides throwing it in 'er)?

**Platinum Pete** · 03-12-2004, 07:18 PM

Originally posted by phUnk
That may be true, but what options does that really provide?

Yep. Broken situation.
I just sent her an e-mail saying she should get drunk and make out with a random dude at the bar, then see how she feels. Couldn't hurt, right?

**mushmouth** · 03-12-2004, 07:19 PM

Originally posted by phUnk
That may be true, but what options does that really provide (besides throwing it in 'er)?

...thowin' it in'er ass. ...ehem.

**Viva** · 03-12-2004, 07:19 PM

Originally posted by Platinum Pete
Yep. Broken situation.
I just sent her an e-mail saying she should get drunk and make out with a random dude at the bar, then see how she feels. Couldn't hurt, right?

Which bar you sending her to?