SOMEONE CALL ME NOW!!!

[snowfire]

DK, no worries, I didn't mind at all. Trouble is I was sleeping and had my phone off. I'll keep it on from now on (unless I start getting multiple crank calls from random mags at all hours of the night!)

I've been texting back and forth with Doug a few minutes ago; he says he's going to work tomorrow, and then we're going to ride.

[dk_alaskan]

so i can't just crank call for shits and giggles? DOH, what fun ARE you...

[mountain_man]

WhiteLight, PNWbrit this isn't the place.

Shoesmith continue to keep us posted. If the board is helping in any way to vent some of your negative thoughts or helps you to see your situation with more clarity then please continue to do so remember that were hear your you.
BUT you do need to continue to seek professional help.

[minddoc]

good luck shmoesmith I'm glad your still around, and it sounds like there are a lot of others who agree. We are all supporting you

[snowfire]

so i can't just crank call for shits and giggles? DOH, what fun ARE you...

well, you're not so random now are you, since you stayed at my house and all. Actually, no one on here really feels random. Ok, you can all crank call me.

[A-wreck]

That which does not kill you, makes you stronger.

Don't let this kill you.

I havn't read the rest of the thread but once I got here I thought sheeeeeiit......For once me and blurred are on the same page.






Hey, you're still here.
Make the best of it.
YOU are still here.

Make the best of it

[workinforturns]

my grandpa always tells me "your not here for a long time, your here for a good time."
so make the best with what you have and you will find things to be passionate about again. all it needs is time and all your effort and you can do this!

[hutash]

I hope you kepy all the numbers posted and PMed. I f you feel like you are burdening some one, call one of the other numbers, spread it among the collective. I, for one, do not think it a burden, nor do I think any other mag does, or we wouldn't have posted. I am glad you are getting professional help, but they are not there 24/7 like your family. friends, and the whole maggot collective. Talk to your Doc about getting away. If he/she doesn't think it is a good is idea just yet, fine, but if he/she thinks it is, you've got lots of options from the collective.

[Steepdeepnlong]

Whitelight, you are treading on very dangerous ground in more ways than you might realize. While you may believe that your "advice" is sound from either a theoretical or practical standpoint, you also must realize that the receiver of said advice (in the current situation and any other similar) may not be in a state of mind to receive the message you are trying to convey. A statement such as yours, if it is to be made at all, should only be made in the context of an ongoing therapeutic relationship, and even then only after thoughtful consideration. To blurt that out on an internet forum is irresponsible.

And don't come back at me with that, "How many near-suicides have you brought back?" shit, 'cause I'm pretty confident that my training and experience in this area exceeds yours.

[Lonnie]

I've been texting back and forth with Doug a few minutes ago; he says he's going to work tomorrow, and then we're going to ride.

Whens and wheres? I'm local too...

L

[gamma]

shmoe,

glad to see you are investing in yourself by seeing a therapist... please stay with us..

work with someone u trust but also someone who will be straight and brutally honest with you. in my life, I always like people to give me the real answers, not the people who might "sugar coat" the reality of my troubled relationships or problems. just taking a pill isnt going to make your issues and problems go away, its just not that easy. u have to go through hell to get to heaven as they say....

keep your chin up man.. whats troubling you will pass in time..

[shmoesmith]

shmoe,

glad to see you are investing in yourself by seeing a therapist...

work with someone u trust but also someone who will be straight and brutally honest with you. in my life, I always like people to give me the real answers, not the people who might "sugar coat" the reality of my troubled relationships or problems. just taking a pill isnt going to make your issues and problems go away, its just not that easy. u have to go through hell to get to heaven as they say....

good luck, keep your chin up man.. whats troubling you will pass in time..

yeah, I like people being honest with me. The shrink last night said that he could tell just from talking to me that I am a very logical, black/white type personality. He said while this type of personality is good in most situations because it helps you see clearly, in my situation it is making things worse because a suicide is not something that can be reasoned through with logic or viewing thigns as black or white. Right now I'm feeling really level headed and normal. Its just those god damned attacks from the PTSD that just blow the logic and reason clean out of the water.

Anyway, thanks for all the support peeps. I did go out mt. biking tonight for a short bit to try my new yeti out in the 'skills' park in park city. Had a decent time except for I got outa breath really fast from riding the bike back up the hill over and over to hit the small stunts there. The biking really helps me get my mind off of things and I think I will try and do more of it.

image from tonight.

[mnflyfish]

Doug,

Stumbled on this while doing my taxes this evening. I needed a break and hopped in for a quick read of TR's and such. Man, you have my cell number, I was working outat the time you posted. I'm usually up in the middle of the night Tues, Wed, and Sat nights. I will make sure to keep my cell with me from now one. I still have more questions about the Liq laws in Utah, still waiting for pics and details from St. Pat's, and I always like to hear about what's happening in the Mtns. Or I'm always willing to listen to what's eatng you. If you've lost the number, PM me and I'll call you up so you can re-capture it.

Jay

[gamma]

yeah, I like people being honest with me. The shrink last night said that he could tell just from talking to me that I am a very logical, black/white type personality. He said while this type of personality is good in most situations because it helps you see clearly, in my situation it is making things worse because a suicide is not something that can be reasoned through with logic or viewing thigns as black or white. Right now I'm feeling really level headed and normal. Its just those god damned attacks from the PTSD that just blow the logic and reason clean out of the water.

Anyway, thanks for all the support peeps. I did go out mt. biking tonight for a short bit to try my new yeti out in the 'skills' park in park city. Had a decent time except for I got outa breath really fast from riding the bike back up the hill over and over to hit the small stunts there. The biking really helps me get my mind off of things and I think I will try and do more of it.

image from tonight.

hey man.. thats good thing to hear. exercise is a great way to vent all that rage/anger/emotion.

sometimes, the things u dont want to hear, are the things u need to hear most. i usually grow/change when im in a lot of pain.

[Tri-Ungulate]

Doug, you can see from the outpouring here that there are plenty of people behind you, so no shortage of support from the community. I'll throw in yet another admonition similar to phunk's entreaties - maintain the professional help you're already involved in, and if your current shrink isn't doing it, you can see if other professionals are available, along with other modalities, both talk- and biomedical-based. You can do so knowing we're all with you, but realizing that we're limited in what we can do for you. I deal with plenty of PTSD folks, and know (albeit only secondhand) how difficult it can be. Take care of yourself please.

--launce

[skifishbum]

Doug,
Any interest in getting out to Soli for the day?

JB

DO IT MAN

Hope to see you SoliSunday

[mrryde]

got out for a beer with doug last night in PC which was cool. i learned that doug has a deep hatred for traffic circles, otherwise I was glad to finally meet him.

We may hook up today for some turns at solitude if anyone is up for it.

[phUnk]

image from tonight.

*high five yeti as-x with sherman buddy*

[rideit]

i learned that doug has a deep hatred for traffic circles, otherwise I was glad to finally meet him.
.

Don't EVER serve him beans on Nachos. You have been WARNED.

[Buzzworthy]

Doug, I hate to be the one to say it, but in my opinion you really need to continue with your therapy and stop drinking. Alcohol is not the answer to your problems (and yes, that hits home with me as well).

If the script you are on is not working, talk to your doc. If the therapist is not meshing with you or vice versa, try another. I speak from experience here.


And we are your friends, but in the big picture, we are NOT the people you need to be taking advise from, me included. I am simply saying the same thing my wife would say to me and you know what she does for a living.

Please put yourself as number 1 priority and keep it that way.

I wish only the best for you.


phUnk and Blurred are so right, in my opinion as well.

[shmoesmith]

Don't EVER serve him beans on Nachos. You have been WARNED.

You will have my eternal wrath for such a crime!

On a more serious note, I'm feeling a lot better today. Last night went well, no alcohol or anything. Alcohol side note: I've been trying to get back to my 'normal' drinking habits, which was pretty much only on weekends with friends. I'm no longer getting drunk at night, and have cut back the drinking alot. I think in a few more weeks I will probably be back to drinking only on weekends. End alcohol side note.

Its so fucking frustrating though. One minute I feel completely normal, level headed, and sane. The next I'm a fucking lunatic. It's really annoying. I wish I could figure out what it is that sets me off so I can eliminate it or deal with it. Anyway, that is all for now. I'm off to go mt. biking with snowfire. She is going to show me true pain as I try to keep up with her on my heavy ass AS-X.

[WICS]

my grandpa always tells me "your not here for a long time, your here for a good time."
so make the best with what you have and you will find things to be passionate about again. all it needs is time and all your effort and you can do this!

Just a jong here, but I like workinforturns' advice. Lost my sister last year and shitload of nonesense since that. Don't know you or DW, but sending vibes. Hang in there. Keep up professional counseling. Everything that Buzzworthy and phUnk said. Enjoy the ride (sometimes I wish I bought the new mtn bike, but ex-gf had convinced me to get the road bike, and the winter keeps coming in and out in NYC).

[Lonnie]

Last night went well, no alcohol or anything. Alcohol side note: I've been trying to get back to my 'normal' drinking habits, which was pretty much only on weekends with friends. I'm no longer getting drunk at night, and have cut back the drinking alot. I think in a few more weeks I will probably be back to drinking only on weekends. End alcohol side note.

Doug,

When I was going through the same thing, I was drinking, ALOT. Things came to a head, and I pretty much went cold turkey for about six months or so. I went to a party and took all the booze I had at my house and gave it away to my friends. Had a rip roaring good time. After that, it was zero for quite a while until I felt "whole" again. I just needed some time for my head to clear. I'm not saying that's what you should or shouldn't do, just what worked for me....

Good luck,
L

[SheSkisTrees]

Just got back from 2 weeks in southern CO and stumbled on this thread. I am glad to see that you are feeling better today and have gotten out to enjoy playing on your bike. Play and laughter...both work wonders. But keep working on finding a counselor who can help you move forward through your grief. And don't listen to anyone who tells you that you should be "over this in x amount of time." Everyone's different, you need to take the time YOU need to get through this and find a healthier and more peaceful place in your mind and soul. There is no right or wrong timeframe. And you never "get over it," you just learn to live with it.

Hang in there. And take advantage of the people who are willing to spend time with you. You really are not alone.

[single]

Praying for you man. People care.