OFFICIAL Bad/improper/unethical/un PC jokes Thread

**dk_alaskan** · 03-22-2007, 10:41 PM

Rontele's bad joke made me wonder and look. So far there are NO joke threads on here (many threads that are a joke but no actual thread about jokes). So, here it is, the TGR Official Joke Thread. Post up and let the hilarity ensue.

WARNING: these jokes are NOT for the faint of heart. I STRONGLY recommend NOT to read them at work or with ANYTHING in your mouth, it WILL be spit through your nose all over the screen after you start reading some of the TRULY deviant, sick shit. There ARE some VERY culturally sensitive (or insensitive jokes, all depending on how you view them), please proceed with a thick skin if you choose to continue reading.

If you don't like sensitive material, please go to http://www.tetongravity.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=80762 for less loaded jokes.

What do you call a pissed off angry drunk dane?

A nice Swede

**mc_roon** · 03-23-2007, 02:11 AM

why is Mexico's olympic team so bad?

because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border

Why is Mexico's navy so bad?

because cardboard doesnt float

i could go all day but i will first see how these are recieved.

**majortom** · 03-23-2007, 05:46 AM

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you've already told her twice.

**yooper** · 03-23-2007, 07:19 AM

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down a boardwalk along the beach. The Priest looks down by the water and sees a 10 year old boy. He says to the Rabbi, "Hey, lets go down there and fuck that little boy!"
The Rabbi responds, "Good idea!" .... "out of what?"

**BigAirSkier1580** · 03-23-2007, 07:44 AM

This thread is going to be a dandy...

I'll be back later, but for now I'm out like Michael J. Fox in a game of Jenga.

**Mrs Roo** · 03-23-2007, 08:19 AM

An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital.

At the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:

Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
as lang's my arm.

The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, and immediately the patient launches into:

Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.

This continues with the next patient:

Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
wi' bickering brattle.
I wad be laith to run and chase thee,
wi' murdering prattle!"

"Well," the Englishman mutters to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last."

"Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Serious Burns unit."

**DJSapp** · 03-23-2007, 09:55 AM

A father was taking a shower, stepped out and found his little daughter there in the bathroom. The daughter noticed something different about dad and asked "Daddy, what's that?"

He replied "That's my penis."

The girl was still a little confused and asked "When will I get a penis?"

"As soon as your mother goes to work."

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How does the redneck girl know when her mom is on her period?

Her brothers cock tastes funny.

**Steven S. Dallas** · 03-23-2007, 09:57 AM

These are pretty old, but

What's the best thing about fucking four-year olds?

Hearing their pelvis snap.

What's the worst thing about fucking four-year-olds?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.

**moose pit** · 03-23-2007, 10:15 AM

-What's red and white and scratches glass?

Baby in a microwave.

-What's red and white and gets smaller and smaller?

Baby combing its hair with a potato peeler.

-What's red a white and spins?

Baby in a blender.

**Grateful1** · 03-23-2007, 10:23 AM

A pedophile is walking into the woods with a little boy who says, mister, it's getting dark and I'm getting scarred.
YOUR scarred, says the pedophile, hell, I gotta walk back outta here by myself

**Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo** · 03-23-2007, 10:38 AM

Some old ones:

Whats grosser than gross? When a midget walks up and says he likes the way your hair smells.

What do you call a quadriplegic at the bottom of the ocean? Sandy
What do you call one in a pile of leaves? Russell
What do you call one floating in the ocean? Bob
What do you call one hanging on the wall? Art
What do you call one sitting in a sink with a speech impediment? Dwayne

**lionelhutz** · 03-23-2007, 10:49 AM

A few bad ones
What do you call the useless flesh around the vagina?
- The woman

Why do women have legs?
- So they don't leave a slime trail

**Mrs Roo** · 03-23-2007, 10:50 AM

An exhausted mother sits in her hospital bed post labour accompanied by her adoring husband. The obstetrician walks in carrying their precious new addition. He chucks the baby in the air, lets it bounce on the ground then kicks it out of the window.

Distraught mother: Oh my God, you've killed my baby!!

Doctor: Ha ha, fooled you. It was dead anyway.

**dk_alaskan** · 03-23-2007, 10:51 AM

How are women like shellfish?

It's not recommended to eat them when the red tide cums in

**Professor** · 03-23-2007, 11:10 AM

What did the poor, deaf, blind kid get for christmas?

Cancer.

Waiter........ I will take that table for one in hell now

**seanyob** · 03-23-2007, 11:10 AM

What's the best thing about fucking thirty nine year olds?

-There's thirty of them!

**dk_alaskan** · 03-23-2007, 11:14 AM

I won't even go to HELL for starting THIS thread, didn't realize there were THAT many degenerates on here.

DForrest53 · 03-23-2007, 11:53 AM

Okay, if racism bothers you, now is definitely the time to leave the thread, because I know lots of racist jokes and I'm bored at work.

what did God say when he made the second negro?

"damnit, burned another one"

how do you get a negro out of a tree

cut the rope

how can you tell when negros have been watching your tv

it's gone

what do you call a negro on a bike?

THIEF

what do you call a negro in a 3-piece suit?

the defendant.

what was missing from the Million Man March?

an auctioneer.

what do you call a white man surrounded by 5 negros?

victim.

a white man surrounded by 10 negros?

quarterback.

a white man surrounded by 20 negros?

basketball coach.

a white man surrounded by 40 negros?

football coach.

and a white man surrounded by 1,000 negros?

a warden.

DForrest53 · 03-23-2007, 11:54 AM

why are negros' eyes red after sex

because of the mace

if a skinny negro and a fat negro both jump out of a plane at the same time, who hits the ground first?

who the fuck cares.

what's the difference between negros and snow tires?

snow tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

DForrest53 · 03-23-2007, 11:55 AM

Q.Whats the difference between a dead rabbit on the road and a dead negro on the road?

A.Theres skidmarks in front of the rabbit...

Q.What do you call a rich black man?

A.Nothing, they don't exist

Q.What do I think when I see a bunch of negros in the crowd?

A.We need more security here

Q.What do you do when you see a one armed negro?

A.Stop laughing and reload.

why do white people go to negro garage sales?

to buy their stuff back.

**SnowToad** · 03-23-2007, 11:57 AM

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

DForrest53 · 03-23-2007, 12:00 PM

Q. What do you get when you cross a negro and a chink?

A. A car theif who can't drive

Q. Why is a painting of Jesus better than Jesus himself?

A. You only need 1 nail to hang the painting.

Q. How do you make a baby cry twice?

A. Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.

Q. Whats the hardest part of eating bald pussy?

A. Putting the diaper back on.

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?

A. A canoe tips

Q: What do 3 million abused women do wrong every year?

A. They dont fucking listen

Q. Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Micheal Jackson?

A. One walked on the moon and the other fucks little boys

Q: What was good about the million man march?

A. Only one person missed work.

Q.Why aren't there any puerto ricans on Star Trek?

A.They won't work in the future either.

Q.Did you hear about the Ku Klux Kenieval?

A.He tried to jump over eight negroS with a steamroller

Q.How do you get rid of the Jews?

A.Tell the negroS they taste just like fried chicken

Q.How do you get a negro to commit suicide?

A.Throw a bucket of KFC into traffic!

Q.How do you get all the negroS out of your neighborhood?

A.Hide all the good cardboard boxes.

Q.How do you make a negro nervous?

A.Take him to an auction.

DForrest53 · 03-23-2007, 12:14 PM

so there is this new technology to change your race really easily and cheaply. it's sweeping the U.S. and becoming more popular every day.

So, a white guy walks in says "I want to be asain," so they take off half his dick and add it to his brain

Another white guy walks in and says "I want to be black" so they take half his brain and add it to his dick

One more white guy comes in, he also asks to be black. After the procedure he feels fine, but the doctors say "I'm sorry, something went terribly wrong... we accidently took half your dick and half your brain away too..."
So he gets off the table and says "si sinor"