Best 'troller clichés

**Monique** · 03-19-2007, 07:55 AM

I'm working on my Dirt Bag Ball costume and would love to hear some patroller clichés or insider jokes I might not have thought of yet so I can translate them into accessories. (DBB is Xtal's annual ski patrol benefit-slash-debauch-fest and let's just say I'm going as a 'troller who's rated NC-17. Shhhh, it's a secret.) The dog, explosives, drill, radio, handcuffs, duct tape, wad of pulled passes, carabiners in lieu of body jewely and a few other items are in progress...what would you add to the look?

**renoenvy** · 03-19-2007, 07:57 AM

moustache

**lemon boy** · 03-19-2007, 07:57 AM

Wear a giant penis costume and then throw a red/white coat over it and call it good!

or bust out a very small red/white coat for a dildo and just accessorize with that.

either way is sure to be a crowd pleaser

**renoenvy** · 03-19-2007, 08:03 AM

you also need to start every single conversation with...
"well, you know, I'm a ski patroller"
This should have a fair amount of elitism to it

**Conundrum** · 03-19-2007, 08:41 AM

Volunteer or professional?

**FrankZappa** · 03-19-2007, 10:21 AM

A "Ski Police" badge, maybe mounted on a cop hat like Barney Fife's.

Edit to add: A Halo - or one of those leaf crown things that greek gods wear.

**Phill** · 03-19-2007, 10:25 AM

Dont wash your hair

**Caucasian Asian** · 03-19-2007, 10:30 AM

Q. You' re at a party with 150 people, and one ski patroller. How do you know?

A. Because he told you.

Also works with ski instructors. "Hi, i'm Harald Harb. I'm a ski professional. Blah, blah, blah."

**girlski0912** · 03-19-2007, 10:37 AM

Get a tube of bronzer and paint on the perfect goggle tan, using a pair of goggles as your stencil. My only concern is that you and I have varying opinions as to the hotness of said goggle tan, so if you are going for sexy 'troller this may not be the best suggestion. But it could be wicked funny.

I can't wait to see the pics from this one!

**PNWbrit** · 03-19-2007, 10:57 AM

Biggest grain scoop type shovel you can find strapped to your back with cordellete?

Spend the evening marking areas as closed with orange flagging tape.

Have fun and post pics.

**Dhelihiker** · 03-19-2007, 11:05 AM

All Leather work gloves
Pilot glasses- maybe its a Kirkwood thing
A massive radio strapped to your chest
I think those items and an overall fuck you I'm cooler than you attitude, you will be dialed.
Maybe an occasional " I had to save some yahoo today"

**lionelhutz** · 03-19-2007, 11:27 AM

I would say get some friend to dress as a Joey in a leather jacket and some rental boots with a Huntah mountain wool hat. Then walk him around the party with his arm in some ghetto ass sling.

BLOOD SWEAT STEEL · 03-19-2007, 11:58 AM

Too bad Birkenstock doesn't make tele boots. You'd nail the whole costume.

I guess you'll just have to settle for a backpack full of carabiners and granola instead.

**LaBelle23** · 03-19-2007, 12:03 PM

-some old cafeteria burgers stuffed in the jacket
-flagging tied to all the zippers for easy entry
-gloves might add to the NC-17 look
-rope swung over your neck/over one shoulder
-2nd the pilot glasses

**FNG** · 03-19-2007, 12:18 PM

Introduce yourself with your name followed by your PSIA level. As for attire, emulate this as much as possible:

**Verde** · 03-19-2007, 12:24 PM

A piece of 'boo (bamboo)

**Monique** · 03-19-2007, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by girlski0912

Get a tube of bronzer and paint on the perfect goggle tan, using a pair of goggles as your stencil. My only concern is that you and I have varying opinions as to the hotness of said goggle tan, so if you are going for sexy 'troller this may not be the best suggestion. But it could be wicked funny.

Fabulous fodder everyone, keep it coming!

Great suggestion GS..it's not so much the hotness of goggle tans that's in dispute, though. Seeing those dark strips across a guy's cheekbones warms my...heart...like any other girl who's worth her weight in snow. It's more the pesky question of how hot it would be, really, to look like a crepe-skinned beach bum from Florida as the result of many consecutive years of goggle tans. Thus the nuclear, chemical and biological safety suit I wear anytime I'm out in the sun.

Due apologies to Florida.

**girlski0912** · 03-19-2007, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by Monique

Fabulous fodder everyone, keep it coming!

Great suggestion GS..it's not so much the hotness of goggle tans that's in dispute, though. Seeing those dark strips across a guy's cheekbones warms my...heart...like any other girl who's worth her weight in snow. It's more the pesky question of how hot it would be, really, to look like a crepe-skinned beach bum from Florida as the result of many consecutive years of goggle tans. Thus the nuclear, chemical and biological safety suit I wear anytime I'm out in the sun.

Due apologies to Florida.

And you do a much better job of protecting from sun damage than I do. Ahhh leathery skin, a tried a true 'troller trait (which may be why one particularly adorable Crystal 'troller still gives me butterflies everytime I see him.) I like the grain shovel roped to your back idea from Brit.

**bklyn** · 03-19-2007, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by girlski0912

Get a tube of bronzer and paint on the perfect goggle tan, using a pair of goggles as your stencil.!

Yes, pick a foundation color you think I might use, so you get a really good contrast.

**jSki** · 03-19-2007, 02:49 PM

Q: How do you know when some at a party is a patroller?
A: They tell you

**mr_gyptian** · 03-19-2007, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by FNG

Introduce yourself with your name followed by your PSIA level. As for attire, emulate this as much as possible:

do patrollers have PSIA levels?

Is there a more incestous organization on the mountain? I don't know if people would get it, but you could go as the six toed offspring of a he-patroller and a she-patroller.

Franz Hauser and Rudi Zuiker should give you enough lines to get through the evening.

does your costume change into? A raft guide or a smoke jumper?

**cj001f** · 03-19-2007, 02:53 PM

Pro: Everything is worn out and dirty
Volly: Everything is crisp and new

Chest pack w/2 radios, beacon beneath and other junk that looks important. Shovel w/webbing is good.

**Andy_B** · 03-19-2007, 02:53 PM

Helmet with gaper gap.

Leather Man or some other Muilt-tool strapped on your belt.

G · 03-19-2007, 03:02 PM

Six or seven sled pins hanging from your shirt, used only to carry rolls of medical tape.

Giant pair of clippers.

bamboo and orange ribbon.

Somewhere on you, a sign that reads "This fucking isn't disneyland"

Wear your climbing harness, get some of those giant caribeners from the hardware store.

Beacon on the outside.

leather gloves

Bad attitude

Hangover