Keepin' it real or escaped from loony-bin?

[Griz]

Half the fun of skiing a solo day at a resort is “people watching”… I like to conduct my own little cultural anthropological studies – observing and formulating hypotheses of the gaper in its natural habitat. You know, like picking out in the lift-line which schmoe is going to panic when it’s his turn for the chair and do something unpredictably stupid… something most rational minds wouldn’t even consider legitimate possibilities… But, occasionally you run across a jewel (in a good way) – that ambiguous character which you can’t determine whether he’s nuts or pure to the bone.

The following is such an account: So I'm getting on the T-bar on a windy, cold-as-a-mofo day last year at Breck, entering from the uphill side and dude is coming in from the other side - nobody else in line - we meet at the loading point at the same time and give each other "the nod." We hop on our respective sides of the bar and when he reaches for it, I see one of the damned-finest duct tape jobs on his mittens that I have ever seen... my eyes move up the body and see that he is wearing an old “oil change” flannel and lumberjack beanie with old school headphones – over the head style – on the outside of his hat and circa late 80s Smith goggles – all white. My gaze then follows the cord down to his belt (holding up his blue jeans) and I swear to Ullr that this is the first edition of the cassette Walkman.

I couldn’t really hear any music coming from the phones, so I thought I would offer a friendly, “how’s it goin?”… Silence…. So, I mind my own business scoping out promising lines. About halfway up, I hear a decent vibrato attempt at a shouting level, “Starlight!...” My response is a glance over to see what’s going on knowing that he is singing along with the tunes. More silence as he stares forward... About 30 seconds later, I witness the best air drumming extravaganza I’ve ever seen - probably a 20 second fill with verbal sound effects – let’s just say that this dude had one big trap set in his mind and no gaper would have ever pulled this one off without falling off the lift. I look over at him and he looks at me and then points to his headphones… “its the Who!” I can’t help but crack a smile and he temporarily removes the phones.

“Where ya from?” he asks.
”Near Woodland Park,” says I.
”Oh, man… have you ever 4-wheeled Rabbit Ears Pass? Its awesome.” he responds.
(For the non-CO folks – there is no geographic proximity here.) So, I am trying to figure out whether he thinks there is a connection or he just changed topics. I can’t figure it out and don’t want to give geography lessons, so I do the same thing.
”Finding any good deposits from the wind?” I ask.
Nonchalantly he makes a lazy circle to his left pointing to approximately 200+ acres of terrain… “Over here…” then he switches to his right hand… “and over there.” He gets another smile out of me… while he remains straight faced.

At the top of the lift, we both head for the Horseshoe and I watch him link some really nice turns and head off towards the Contest area. I am then left in wonderment… damn, that guy was keeping it real.

[tarkman1]

I think we was doing his own people watching. If you are going to air drum, I suppose The Who would be a good choice. Still, with a lyric with 'Starlight', I think we has too embarrased to admit that he was jamming out to Madonna's Lucky Star.

[Harv]

hilarious. I cracked a smile reading your account at the same moment you said you did. I love shit like that. It reminds me of times I have run into some random character in the backcountry or at the ski hill that just shakes me right out of any bullshit attitude I might be wearing that day.

On another note it also reminded me of this guy I used to ski with who was a drummer and he would totally mock my air drumming when I did not hit the "high hat" at the right time or whatever...fucking pissed me off...don't shit on a man's air drumming unless he does not sell it...air drumming is all in the face anyway...whiteman's overbite and passionate squinty eyes...shit like that...

[Griz]

Another reason to ride free-heel - more convincing air-bass-drum kicks.

[SKISC]

That story reminds me of a guy I used to see at the local par 3 golf course when I was in college. Dude had a baby blue fake leather bag, yard sale (at best) clubs, a little cassette player that blared Hank Williams Sr, and his dog tied to the bag. He wore cut off jeans and no shoes or socks. This was not a fancy course.

The first time I saw him tee off I was amazed. The guy could play some damn golf. I watched him every chance I got the rest of that day and many times after and it was always the same. Usually sticking the ball a few feet from the cup.

[IrieRon]

Fresh out of my teen years I spent a winter in the 'Boat snapping photos of tourons with a manual SLR. Spending 40 hours a week at the top of the Silver Bullet Gondola you start to see the same people over and over, and sometimes you invent names for them.

Behold SuperLocal:

On the Hill: Retro Bump God. Volkl 210's, Tom Selleck lip sweater, Aviators way after they were fashionable and way before they were ironic. This was during the height of the Steep Tech fad, and clearly SuperLocal wasn't playing.

Off the Hill: Steamboat Ranch-Hand Chic. Carharts, muddy F-250 with a dog barking in the bed, cowboy boots.

As I would jump the lines to go to work, pitting on a powder day, there was SuperLocal pressing glass, first in line. When I would hit the Double Z for happy hour and a hot link sandwich, there was SuperLocal bellyed up with a pitcher. Hell I saved up for a month and took a chick to Harwigs and there was freaking SuperLocal with a cartoonishly-hot cougar and bottle of red wine on the table.

Finally one day I happened to share a gondy ride up with some Texans in Cowboys Starter jackets and just before the doors closed, SuperLocal jumped in. Texan Dad was regaling his 13-year-old son with titillating hints of an impending condo purchase, and was grilling me about every G-rated feature of the town he could think of. He went on and on about how he loved the native Texan pastor at the church they had just visited, and how that was basically the clincher for him. He proclaimed that Vail was, quote, "full of show-offs and sinners." He had been talking in a very loud voice for about 7 minutes or so, and then turned to SuperLocal, who had been overtly ignoring him and staring out the window. He asked a really long-winded question about how SuperLocal liked the town and if he thought it would be a good wholesome place to raise his son as a Christian. SuperLocal turned and looked him in the face, paused for a full second, and responded, "I've never had a problem getting laid here."

With that, the gondola car fell silent for the rest of the ride.

[ShawnB]

Man these are good stories.

Reports of the death of TGR have been greatly exaggerated.

[Atlas Q. Powmonger]

IrieRon: that story is classic.

I'd love to pick up a suit like this: http://cgi.ebay.com/Mens-One-Piece-S...QQcmdZViewItem But I don't know if I can bring the game enough to make it ironic!

[Chemical Ali' The Wax Master]

IrieRon: that story is classic.

I'd love to pick up a suit like this: http://cgi.ebay.com/Mens-One-Piece-S...QQcmdZViewItem But I don't know if I can bring the game enough to make it ironic!

that is one sweet fartbag

[IrieRon]

IrieRon: that story is classic.

I'd love to pick up a suit like this: http://cgi.ebay.com/Mens-One-Piece-S...QQcmdZViewItem But I don't know if I can bring the game enough to make it ironic!

Oh sweet baby Jesus. Hello ebay watch list.