Gapergenuity

[DropCliffsNotBombs]

SAFETY BARS ARE FOR GAPERS!!!!

[Mother_of_all_Moms]

So no one but me has seen this sort of gapergenuity-- a guy in an matchy-matchy, kind of puffy, insulated jacket-pants set using the old hillbilly chrome to tape himself a homemade fart bag on a powder day? (Guess his jacket didn't have a powder skirt??!?)

He and his friend stopped at the top of a deep run, pulled out a roll of the old magic tape and proceeded to go 'round-and 'round one another, taping pants to jacket and creating some sort of. . . seal? Heavyweight gapertastic world championship belt?

Hope it was intended to keep the snow out and that it the *seal* worked, because they turned and fell, turned and fell, turned and fell all the way down the hill. Or maybe I hope it didn't work. Can't say.

[philippeR]

I have come far closer to getting seriously injured by people dropping the bar on me than I ever have riding chairs without them.

I know it's a Euro standard to put it down, but its obvoiusly to protect the gapers who would fall out of the chair. And you gotta be a real fukkin gaper to fall out of a chair. For a place that lets you ski anything anywhere you want and if you die it's your fault, don't you think the enforcement in some places of putting the bar down is little over the top, considering?

You're absolutely right (even though it's not really enforced per se, just something everybody will do).
I would still be very scared to ride a chair without the bar.
I'm conditioned like that. And I like the elbow-on-a-counter bearing...

[Tye 1on]

Back in my gaper days, yeah, wayyyyyy back then, we were trying to beef up our wimpy little leather tele boots. While some went with the radical plastic-cuffed Merrell Super Comps, others looked backward instead of forward.

There was a bootfitter in Missoula who would take old leather lace-up alpine boots, and resole them with a tele sole. That way there was about zero flex due to the apparently wooden midsole, and also a very low and distinct top of the boot, simply perfect for radial fractures. Yeah, i was one of the gapers with a pair, not only were they marginally functional, but they also had no comfort whatsoever...SteinComps or sumpin? Forget what we called 'em....but if you see a pair in a thrift store, now ya know....the rest of the story...

[philippeR]

Recent exemple, unfortunately without photographic evidence :
Last week in Tignes : Large english bloke franticaly poles to exit the gate to board a detachable 6 pack chair. Manage to catch a ski tip in the gate. Binding releases. Large guy tumbles on the magic carpet (that was that kind of chair) and takes out 3 others skiers with him. Everybody piles on the at the end of the carpet. Liftie rushes to kill the lift before the chair crashes into the heap of bodies and gear. General hilarity ensues in the line.
Awesome.

[HOBA]

Starting at $90

[anthill]

Whistler for the win.

[freshies]

certainly triple scotch guarded jeans have to be near the top of the list.

+only+ if they were 1) acid washed, 2) and accompanied by some gaiters.

[MakersTeleMark]

About 5 years ago or so my friend and I get off the Sublette chair and there's a guy standing there with a rod attached to each of his boots that goes straight up towards his ass and through his pants, (with a nice sewn finished hole there to accommodate the rod). Dumbfounded, I had to ask. The guy tells me it's some sort of spring mechanism that helps you ski somehow. I still stare, so he goes on and says that, "You know, when you're tired, at the end of the day, and you want to go in, well this will help you out." Or something like that. I'm still staring. "Huh?"

My buddy turns and starts down while flapping his arms up and down like a maniac and yells back at the guy that he needs some for his arms so he can fly, yelling like some bird thing: "Caw, Caw, Caw"

Best response to gapergenuity I'd ever seen. I still don't know what the hell that rod thing was.

CADS man.

http://www.cads.com/

All over Vail.

OTOH, isn't the Texas Suitcase the prime example of gaperingenuity?

[pechelman]

cads
wow
ive seen them on the hill but now the webpage
my jaw just dropped
595$

or the houston handbag, yea, whatever its called.


so those snow limos
those would be cool for people who cant ski cause of certain injuries or something and want to see what its like.

[bklyn]

It's easy to laugh at those cads, but it really does seem to help some older folks ski. Placebo or not, I'm all for the 70/80+ crowd getting after it.

I really enjoy sharing the lift with old folks who have a young spirit and have been active all their lives. The best conversations I've had with strangers on lifts have been with them or little kids.

[Telski]

We have to stock many, many Snowblades in our rental fleet specifically for the Texans who ask for them. Otherwise, you lose huge church groups....

[bedtime4bonzos]

OMFG...

go to the CADS website... then click on "Is there anything for running?". this thing makes the CADS look gnar!

order yours now and get a free pair of lollerskates...

(all that aside, if this is what it takes to get you back in your game then kudos to you for loving your sport enough to look this ridiculous)

[MakersTeleMark]

It's easy to laugh at those cads, but it really does seem to help some older folks ski. Placebo or not, I'm all for the 70/80+ crowd getting after it.

I really enjoy sharing the lift with old folks who have a young spirit and have been active all their lives. The best conversations I've had with strangers on lifts have been with them or little kids.

I absolutely agree. I was just having this conversation with a colleague of mine. He pointed out, "What is more ridiculous, wearing CADS, or sitting at home on your couch on a powder day?"

[jonesy]

cads
wow
ive seen them on the hill but now the webpage
my jaw just dropped
595$

or the houston handbag, yea, whatever its called.


so those snow limos
those would be cool for people who cant ski cause of certain injuries or something and want to see what its like.

Sitskis. http://www.sitski.com/index.htm

[kidwoo]

It's easy to laugh at those cads, but it really does seem to help some older folks ski. Placebo or not, I'm all for the 70/80+ crowd getting after it.

I really enjoy sharing the lift with old folks who have a young spirit and have been active all their lives.

Seeing those two sentences just raised a question for me......


How DO you actually sit on a chair with those things?

[Jukes]

i dont get it why some people are so parinoid about putting the bar down. like how fucking often do u randemly fall off ur couch ur not just gunna slide off (unless extremly intoxicated).

Well, what if you have this amazing piece of gapergenuity? A pole with built in flask!! Perfect for the chair ride right after your 4 martini lunch

[MakersTeleMark]

Seeing those two sentences just raised a question for me......


How DO you actually sit on a chair with those things?

[depressed skier forced to be LA]

sierra lift or as i called it sellout lift when intrawest took over and came up with creative names for all the letters isnt even a long lift

how long did it take him to do it/undo it?

[eblackwelder]

That thing reminds me of the South Park episode where Mr Garrison invents that gyroscope thing.

[hafilax]

Anyone remember the, very similar, commercial chair-lift hanging strap for snowboards? I searched but all I could find were patents.

[plugboots]

I am so glad you'all found that CADS thing. I tried googling everything, and couldn't find it, (google rod up ass?). And bklyn, I couldn't agree more, but seeing those on a young guy, I was dumbfounded. Hell, I already feel like that old guy telling stories about the old days.

[bucbanzai]

Okay, look at it this way: If a flea went skiing, it wouldn’t have trouble with chattering. That’s because fleas can store energy in their legs, which is why they can jump hundreds of times their own height. We can’t store energy in our legs, but the rubber spring on CADS can.


Oh, I get it now.....HUH?

[barnescli]

Saw a person with their hands totally duct taped. They guy said he only had fleece gloves, so he decided to tape them up to make them water proof. He could barely move his fingers.

[KungFu Eddie]

I wonder how many cases of major rectal trauma have been linked to those cads?