Homophobia is gay.

[Rontele]

See, e.g., Tim Hardaway.

[fondigley]

See, e.g., Tim Hardaway.

Dude I saw that shit on Sportscenter last night and was like damn.

[Danno]

what a dipshit. He's an asshole for harboring feelings like that, but he A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FUCKING MORON for publicly airing them.

[DisArray]

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
By Bruce Heffernan
July 6, 2005 | Issue 41•27

Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is.

Where does this queer get the nerve to suck my cock? Did I look gay to him? Was I wearing a pink feather boa without realizing it? I don't recall the phrase, "Suck my cock" entering the conversation, and I don't have a sign around my neck that reads, "Please, You Homosexuals, Suck My Cock."

I've got nothing against homosexuals. Let them be free to do their gay thing in peace, I say. But when they start sucking my cock, I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a rugged-looking, blond-haired man in his early 30s. He seemed straight enough to me while we were bathing in that mountain stream, but, before you know it, he's sucking my cock!

What is it with these homos? Can't they control their sexual urges? Aren't there enough gay cocks out there for them to suck on without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting my cock sucked by some queer. But try telling that to the guy at the beach club. Or the one at the video store. Or the one who catered my wedding. Or any of the countless other homos who've come on to me recently. All of them sucked my cock, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those fantastic boots?

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a man passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to some bathroom to suck my cock. I've even started to visualize these repulsive cock-sucking episodes during the healthy, heterosexual marital relations I enjoy with my wife—even some that haven't actually happened, like the sweaty, post-game locker-room tryst with Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be women trying to suck my cock, which would be adultery and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But, believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these homosexuals mistake me for a guy who wants his cock sucked, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things, but it's all been to no avail. A few months back, I started wearing an intimidating-looking black leather thong with menacing metal studs in the hopes that it would frighten those faggots off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, slapping them around whenever they were sucking my cock, but that failed, too. Even pulling out of their mouths just before ejaculation and shooting sperm all over their face, chest, and hair seemed to have no effect. What do I have to do to get the message across to these swishes?

I swear, if these homosexuals don't take a hint and quit sucking my cock all the time, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures—like maybe pinning them down to the cement floor of the loading dock with my powerful forearms and working my cock all the way up their butt so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome advances. I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.

from The Onion
-----------------

[smitchell333]

Imagine the furor if a whitey said these exact words but used the N word instead of "gay people"

''Well, you know I hate N....., so I let it be known. I don't like N.... and I don't like to be around N...... I am rascist. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States. So yeah, I don't like it.''

Glad to see he's getting some rebuke for it.

[Flexon Phil]

Imagine the furor if a whitey said these exact words but used the N word instead of "gay people"

''Well, you know I hate N....., so I let it be known. I don't like N.... and I don't like to be around N...... I am rascist. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States. So yeah, I don't like it.''

Glad to see he's getting some rebuke for it.

Times TOO X2

[Tippster]

Arachnophobia is spidery.

[Jer]

Spiders scare the shit outta me.

[Tippster]

Me too. Fuck them.

[Jer]

I don't wanna kill 'em or anything. They just ceep me out.

[72Twenty]

Badgers scare me. Mean little shits.

[bklyn]

Open mouth... insert foot

[flatlander#2]

Tim Hardaway-gayest dude in the NBA. If I was on his team (and larger) I'd be all sugary to him, stop boxing me out Timmy, foul, foul, foul.........

[Steven S. Dallas]

Me too. Fuck them.

Arachnobestiality is spidery and gay half the time.

[Pow4Brains]

So what would you call a gay spider?

[bklyn]

So what would you call a gay spider?

That would depend on whether or not you are caught in his web.

[skiing-in-jackson]

I think you are wrong for not being comfortable around spiders. It is wrong to hate them. Arachnophobia is a social disease.

[Tippster]

Aren't most spiders female? Let's ask Tim Hardaway.

[BigDaddy]

If Tim Hardaway kills his gay lover (because he hates gays), does that make him a black widow or widower?

[Steven S. Dallas]

So what would you call a gay spider?

Mithter Thpider.

[spindrift]

Whenever this issue pops up in the media, I suggest that people go visit my friends at Lambda Legal - for two reasons. First, to get informed. Second, to donate a few bucks to an organization that consistently leads the way in the struggle for equal rights for GLBT citizens. I know a fair number of people associated with Lambda. They are all ethical, smart, dedicated, wonderful people. They take the long view and are good stewards of donor dollars. Just hit that "donate" tab & do it...

If you find statements like Hardaway's disturbing and wrong, help Lambda fight the good fight through education and legal action. Lambda is not the only organization working for equal rights in this area, but they are one very important group. Especially with respect to key court cases you've all read about. They rock. They are worthy of your support.

[Tye 1on]

Spindrift- while i don't disagree with one word of your post, i do have to nominate it for "most serious post following most funniest thread title".

[Norcascadielady]

Holy shit....I don't like him...what ignorance

[Art Shirk]

spindrift, I like your passion and sense of duty and justice but I just couldn't stop thinking of the Lamda Lamda Lamda's. And the Omega Mu's.

[Tippster]

I'll buy the "I can't help being gay" argument, but Transsexuals? How the fuck is getting a sex change operation NOT a choice?