OMG, just got a call from Daycare today. Too funny.

[Nohillsnearby]

We were driving out of the neighborhood when Thing 2 was about 3. We have this fancy fake rock waterfall thingy at the entrance. Thing 2 looked and said, "Aw, dammit, the falls aren't on." Hubby about drove off the road and I about busted a gut.

[Woodsy]

Dick Trickle drives the Depends car #01

[skibee]

How appropriate this thread has degenerated to Depends already. I work in Long Term Care (lots of Depends there, the new technology works quite well but I would recommend getting an RN friend to set you up with an indwelling catheter for real Daytona couch comfort).

Anyway, we have a resident who is 95 years old. Her vocabulary is limited, but BITCH is still in there and she has no hesitation using it, You have just gifted your child with a life long skill, be proud of her.

[Woodsy]

now that right there is a classic example of the powmag/TGR random tangent full circle.

[Stone-Free]

uh, yeah. my 2-year old son repeated "No fucking way!" from his carseat after I said it on my cell phone last week. "No Fucking Way!"

Fortunately it hasn't come out again.

I think Generation Z is going to have a lot more profanity at younger ages.

Deja Vu- Last summer, I'm driving and I'm yelling at the driver in front of me, without any foul adjectives, and my son from his car seat yells, "Yeah! Move over Fuckhead!" I had some serious esplainin' to do when I got home.

[ill-advised strategy]

[SKISC]

When my oldest was mid 2's, early 3's he also had the problem with the pronouncing the tr in truck. Anyway I got a new truck during this time and it was great to hear that he went to school and told people that his daddy bought a new black fuck yesterday.

Then onedya we are riding through town and he saw a future shopping center being graded off. Much to our surprise he say "Oh shit, they are building aother damn grocery store, just what we need". I about pissed my pants with this one since he was still barley 3.

[Trashcan]

When my son was around 2 1/2 he had this little teddy bear he slept with (thing got lost daily). So at bedtime we saying "okay time for bed" and he replies " GODDAMMIT wait a minute I can't find teddy bear!!"" Don't know where he got that from.

[Tippster]

So this morning I'm sledding with my kids at their elementary school - I love snow days. It's icy as hell - read: FAST - and everyone's having a ball. My daughter (6) gets on the platter that we brought and I push her to really get her going. She finds the one bump on the ~200ft long run, catches 2ft of air, and lands on her FACE! By the time I got there another parent (a mom) was standing there doing the "what do we do" dance.

I whip off my gloves, hug her 'til she stops crying, take a long close look at her and wipe the blood/snot off her face. She has a good size scrape under one eye and a fat lip that's bleeding - other than that she's merely shaken up.

When she calmed down I looked in her eyes and asked her: "So, wanna do it again?"

The mother looked at me like I was high, and a Dad that had walked up behind me starts laughing his ass of. My daughter smiled and asked if we could go home, make some hot chocolate for her and her brother, and watch a movie (which they're doing now.)

I may not be the best parent, but sometimes I say the right thing.

[Buzzworthy]

Great stories, kids really are funny.

Fixing this was rather easy. We told her a few words that come out of our mouths and told her they are grown up words and she should not say them. Instead we taught her to say "Holy Cow!" and then when she got that down, I would say a few choice words and Taylor would then say, "daddy no, say holy cow".

So now when I fuck up again, or my wife does, we will teach her another neat phrase.

[PaSucks]

Heard this second hand, but...

My cousin and her husband were driving with their twoish year old daughter at the time, Abby. Her daddy was trying to get her to say "daddy's a great daddy" or something along those lines. He would say "Abby, what is daddy?" Finally, she answered, with a devilish grin, "Daddy's a dumb ass!"

[dk_alaskan]

We shall see what happens on Sunday watching the Daytona 500 with a cooler next to me so I only have to get up to pee.

Why not just use the empties as "receptacles"?

[skiergirl]

When my oldest was mid 2's, early 3's he also had the problem with the pronouncing the tr in truck. Anyway I got a new truck during this time and it was great to hear that he went to school and told people that his daddy bought a new black fuck yesterday

My little brother was similar, except my dad owned a dump truck, Steve would point at dump trucks in stores and say "Daddy's big dumb fuck". My step-mom loved explaining that to everyone in earshot.

[OldLarry]

so this morning my wife isn;t feeling well. She says "I dunno, it's almost liek I feel when I'm pregnant..."

My 2.5 year old daughter replies :"Yeah, I'm pregnant, too!"

[bklyn]

Heh. So I am helping out by watching my nephew while his mom does some household chores in the next room. He's full on terrible twos and begins that fake crying that they do when they are not getting their way and are just frustrated. So I respond with...

"Blah, blah, blah!"

It worked. His eyes got really big and he stopped the mini tantrum immediately. Later that night I get the call. At dinnertime he's getting scolded for acting out during dinner by his dad. His response...

"Blah, blah, blah!"

Pops completely blindsided by this phrase, in context and of course with perfect inflection, bursts out laughing. It takes a few months to train the little guy out of that one.