DEMOLITION WOMAN FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS

**shmoesmith** · 02-08-2007, 08:36 PM

Viewing will be Monday, Feb 12th at 1:00
Funeral will be Monday, Feb 12th at 2:00
Both the viewing and funeral will be held at Memorial Estates.

Memorial Estates
6500 S Redwood Rd
Taylorsville, UT

Her obituary will be in one of the sunday papers.

Thank you everyone for the support. It's really helping. Its giving me a reason to live when I don't want to anymore. I found one of our other guns last night..the police didn't notice it and left it. You guys helped to keep me from using it.

I know people raised money. It will help. I will need it to pay bills for as long as I can until I can figure out what to do with the house. As tigerstriper mentioned, Britt was working 2 jobs and I was working 12-15 hrs a day at my job to make ends meet. We have very little savings. My parents and grandparents are helping with the actual expense of the funeral which so far is over $12,000. We thought we had life insurance through her work, and mine. We found out that because of some transfers back and forth between our two insurances (we used mine then hers, then mine and switched back and forth a few times) that during the last transfer (jan this year) we accidently failed to get life insurance on her(only me).

I am only 26 and still new in my career and don't make enough money on a monthly basis to even pay the mortgage(which is why britt was working 2 jobs and helping to support us). I will have to sell the house, and our car(which we are upside down on) and find a very cheap apartment somewhere in the salt lake valley that will accept large dogs. I just went through my closing papers and found out there wasn't a provision to pay off the house in the event that one of us passes away...Its a bad time of year to sell a house, and the market is low, so I can only hope that I can sell it off for what I owe(we only bought it 2 years ago). I may just have to find a way to continue paying on the car.

Anyway, that is the situation, since I'm sure many of you wanted an update.

**hikeitfirst** · 02-08-2007, 08:44 PM

it surely feels like you're hanging by your thumbnails but keep hanging in there... you're needed... and loved... this community cares so much about you... one foot in front of the other... just keep on. Everybody here is with you.

**Cono Este** · 02-08-2007, 08:54 PM

Good to hear from you Shmoesmith. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you. PLease take of yourself first, and try not to worry about the bills and such, as they will work themselves out. Also, know that very few people can cope entirelly on their own in such a situation. Do not be afraid to ask for help in times like this.

Peace

**pointedem** · 02-08-2007, 08:55 PM

man, shoe.

I cant even imagine what is running through your head.

Please please please if you are feeling that way go see a friend, call a number, you know what I mean.

It's scary to see you type that. There are a ton of us local Utah folks here, you can pm me for my number if you need to chat- seriously.

this may be the most trying time in your life. You have the support of so many people- far and near.

**mrryde** · 02-08-2007, 08:55 PM

I can't imagine what your going through. You have friends and family that will get you through this. stay stong

**Viva** · 02-08-2007, 08:55 PM

I'm glad that you can find the strength to write this and share.

Don't stop. Tell us everything, ask for anything. We do this not just for you, but for Brittney, she was one of us.

Peace.

**dk_alaskan** · 02-08-2007, 08:59 PM

Shmoe, we have never met or spoken, but PLEASE, PLEASE don't go down the same road, there are TOO many already affected by DW, to add to that could crush someone so badly they may do the same and continue the cycle of self-destruction. We are here for you. I HIGHLY suggest you take ALL the weapons you have in your house right now and let a friend hold on to them until you are ready to once again have them in the house. Doing this is NOT a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of being human and strong enough to ask for help.

We are here for you man, PLEASE stay with us.

**Rontele** · 02-08-2007, 08:59 PM

Originally Posted by Viva

I'm glad that you can find the strength to write this and share.

Don't stop. Tell us everything, ask for anything. We do this not just for you, but for Brittney, she was one of us.

Peace.

Agreed. Doug, stay strong man.

**jibij** · 02-08-2007, 08:59 PM

Stay strong and stay connected to this group. There's power here.

**dk_alaskan** · 02-08-2007, 09:03 PM

Originally Posted by Viva

I'm glad that you can find the strength to write this and share.

Don't stop. Tell us everything, ask for anything. We do this not just for you, but for Brittney, she was one of us.

Peace.

We are not a family in the traditional sense on here, but we are one in a modern sense-we are all interconnected through our love of the outdoors and the pursuit of skiing. Regardless of what you have to say, we are here for you. Please keep telling us what you need, someone on here may be able to help you, if not, they may be able to help you find a way to get what you need. We are here for you and all other mags in need.

**grskier** · 02-08-2007, 09:05 PM

keep on keeping on.

**Kenai** · 02-08-2007, 09:12 PM

Thanks for the updates. We are here for you.

**Smiley** · 02-08-2007, 09:22 PM

I hope it snows for you man...go make some turns

**GBB** · 02-08-2007, 09:37 PM

stay in there shmoe, you're loved and appreciated by many people.

**soul_skier** · 02-08-2007, 10:40 PM

stay strong....I know this is the hardest thing you have ever been through. PM me for my # if you need someone to talk to, seriously, I may be young, but I'll do anything I can to help.

**PNWbrit** · 02-08-2007, 11:08 PM

Doug - thanks for letting us know how you are doing. We're all devasted by your tragedy and desperate to hear that you're o.k.

Please don't try and be a tough guy. You really should talk to someone outside of the immediate situation about how and what you're feeling. What you're trying to deal with is something no one can understand on their own. Only time can ease the pain you must be feeling but making sure you don't buckle under it is your number one and only priority right now.

Fuck jobs, money, mortgages and cars, all that stuff really will figure itself out. Don't waste any of your emotional reserves on it.

All our hearts are weeping for you.

**meatdrink9** · 02-08-2007, 11:13 PM

Shmoe, please hand the gun off to someone else you trust for a month or two. Emotions don't always make sense and they are incredibly strong.

I wish I could make the funeral, but I'll be out of state. I'd like to help out however I can. If you do decide to sell your house I'll act as your agent for free (in other words you get to put it on the MLS and keep 3% more of the value of the home, could be a very large sum of money). Fortunately the two years you've held it have been very good years. I'm a graphics monkey too and will build better flyers and also a website that other Realtors can't touch. I'm sure I could get MOE to take the photos as well.

There's a ton of us here in town that are more than willing to help out. Just ask.

**The AD** · 02-08-2007, 11:15 PM

Hang in there, man! I know it sounds trite, but we're all thinking about you.

**mc_roon** · 02-08-2007, 11:20 PM

i fly in on a day too late, otherwise i would come even though i have never met either of you. Hang in there!

**bossass** · 02-08-2007, 11:45 PM

Originally Posted by meatdrink9

Shmoe, please hand the gun off to someone else you trust for a month or two. Emotions don't always make sense and they are incredibly strong.

I wish I could make the funeral, but I'll be out of state. I'd like to help out however I can. If you do decide to sell your house I'll act as your agent for free (in other words you get to put it on the MLS and keep 3% more of the value of the home, could be a very large sum of money). Fortunately the two years you've held it have been very good years. I'm a graphics monkey too and will build better flyers and also a website that other Realtors can't touch. I'm sure I could get MOE to take the photos as well.

There's a ton of us here in town that are more than willing to help out. Just ask.

Word up, Meat. That's a very generous thing to do. Any Utards willing to spare skills and free time for Doug are really going to make getting through these dark times much more manageable. I'm sure more peeps will step up to help, Doug. Please don't hesitate to ask them, I know they want to help. I know I would were I closer, and I don't even know you.

**skilover1961** · 02-08-2007, 11:48 PM

I am so sorry for you loss. a very good friend of mine killed himself when we were in 7th grade. this is a very hard thing to understand. to this day (18 years later) I still do not understand. I also had a friend kill himself about a year ago. I know these were only friends and not a wife but there are people on this board that can and do want to help you. If you ever need to talk to anyone please let us know...

**grizzle6** · 02-08-2007, 11:51 PM

I will shoot photos of anything needed. Please Shmoe--stay strong. I don't know you, but am more than willing to offer anything I can to help you in your time of need. While my words may mean little or nothing, know that there is a true heart behind them, and behind you.

**rideit** · 02-08-2007, 11:53 PM

Schmoe, you know you always have a room here if you need to get away, or whatever.

Please stay strong, for you, for me, for your family, for all of us.

Most of all, for Brit.

**Monique** · 02-09-2007, 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by shmoesmith

Thank you everyone for the support. It's really helping. Its giving me a reason to live when I don't want to anymore.

My thoughts were with you all day today. I was thinking about how you may have unknowingly kept your wife alive through moments where she wouldn't have been able to continue if she hadn't been with you. Whether or not you were aware of it at the time, your love must have played a huge role in helping her deal with whatever troubled her for as long as she possibly, humanly could. I hope you and everyone who loved her can hold your focus on the many ways you helped sustain her until the torment got completely beyond her reach, and not dwell on the "what ifs" and "if onlys" that are bound to cross your minds.

**Ripzalot** · 02-09-2007, 02:19 AM

Originally Posted by shmoesmith

Thank you everyone for the support. It's really helping. Its giving me a reason to live when I don't want to anymore. I found one of our other guns last night..the police didn't notice it and left it. You guys helped to keep me from using it.

as others have already noted, this bit is really scary to a lot of us. to think it is one thing, to verbalize it another.

please PLEASE take the advice and get rid of the guns. surround yourself with positive support, friends and family, and get busy doing something as quickly as possible to occupy your mind. its going to suck hard for a while but it will pass. it's gonna get better coz it has too.

stay stong.