So there's an opening in the US Astronaut corps...

[Jumper Bones]

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/...home-headlines

Space shuttle astronaut arrested at OIA on attempted kidnapping, battery charges

Henry Pierson Curtis | Sentinel Staff Writer
Posted February 5, 2007, 11:05 PM EST

A NASA astronaut is being held without bail after police say she attacked her rival for another astronaut's attention at Orlando International Airport Monday.

Lisa Marie Nowak drove more than 12 hours from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police.

Nowak -- who was a mission specialist on a Discovery launch last summer -- was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, reports show. They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn't have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive. Reports show that after U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman's flight arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport's Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman's car and then doused her with pepper spray.

Nowak, 43, is charged with attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery and destruction of evidence. Police considered her such a danger that they requested she be held without bail in the Orange County Jail, reports show.

A married mother of three, Nowak told police that she was "involved in a relationship with," Bill Oefelein, another NASA astronaut, which she categorized as "more than a working relationship but less than a romantic relationship," according to the charging affidavit.

Oefelein, who piloted the most recent shuttle Discovery flight in December, could not be reached Monday night at home in Houston.

She found out Oefelein was involved with Shipman and planned a trip to Orlando to talk to Shipman about their relationships with Oefelein, reports show. She also told police the BB gun "was going to be used to entice Ms. Shipman to talk with her."

Shipman, an engineer assigned to the 45th Launch Support Squadron at Patrick Air Force base near the Kennedy Space Center, told police she was flying home from Houston. She could not be reached for comment Monday night at her home near Port Canaveral.

Shipman told police that after waiting two hours to get her luggage, she noticed a woman in a trench coat waiting near the airport taxi stand. When Shipman boarded a shuttle bus to long-term parking, the woman followed, according to police.

When Shipman got into her car in the Blue lot on Cargo Road, reports show, she heard "running footsteps" coming toward her. Nowak tried to open the car door, then claimed she needed a ride, or use of a cell phone.

"No. If you need help, I'll send someone to help you," Shipman responded, reports show.

Nowak claimed she could not hear and started to cry.

"Ms. Shipman rolled her window down about 2 inches, so Mrs. Nowak could hear her... Mrs. Nowak sprayed some type of chemical spray into the vehicle, at Ms. Shipman's face," a detective wrote.

Shipman sped away to the parking lot's toll booth, where she asked a parking employee to call police.

The first officer to reach the Blue lot, saw the suspect drop something black into a trash can at one of the parking shuttle stops. Within minutes, Shipman identified Nowak as her attacker.

A steel mallet, several feet of rubber tubing and hand-written directions to Shipman's home were recovered from Nowak's car, which was parked at a nearby LaQuinta Inn, reports show.

Picked up shortly before 4 a.m., Nowak was questioned until about 5 p.m. when police took her to the county jail.

Her arrest may be the first-ever felony charges filed on an active-duty astronaut, according to the space agency.

"Her status as an astronaut with NASA is currently unchanged. I cannot speculate on what might happen beyond that," said James Hartsfield, a NASA spokesman at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, where Nowak and Oefelein work.

Nowak's biography shows she is a 1985 graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis with a degree in aerospace engineering, and a former test pilot who has logged more than 1,500 hours of flight in at least 30 types of aircraft.

She joined the space program in 1996. Three members of her astronaut class died in the 2003 shuttle Columbia disaster.

A Navy captain, Nowak flew aboard last summer's 12-day flight to re-supply the International Space Station and test safety features and repair techniques. She has the distinction of being the first Italian-American woman in space.

"A lot of my training is what you might think of as a Flight Engineer on ascent and entry," she said in a pre-flight interview on the NASA Web site. "I sit behind and between the pilot and commander and help coordinate things and keep the big picture."

A Navy commander, Oefelein is a former test pilot who attended TOPGUN, the U.S. Navy Fighter Weapons School. He has flown more 3,000 hours in more than 50 types of aircraft, including over 200 carrier landings, according to NASA.

A father of two children, Oefelein enjoys fishing, hiking and snowboarding, according to his NASA biography. In December, Oefelein, 41, logged about 308 hours in space.

Sentinel staff writers Beth Kassab and Michael Cabbage contributed to this report

[The AD]

The only plausible explanation for this is she got ahold of some bad Tang.

[RootSkier]

Wait, there is good Tang?

[summit]

Jumper... there is an opening... you should apply.

But don't let the aliens alter your brain like they did to this chick.

They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn't have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive.

That's determination... but I guess astronauts are used to that.

[Free Range Lobster]

This is proof that astronauts are batshit crazy.

[smmokan]

Wait, there is good Tang?

Of course. Everyone knows the Poon flavored stuff is the best.

[DisArray]

This is proof that astronauts are batshit crazy.

It just goes to show how pathetic the space program has become since the Apollo days, when astronauts were actually pushing out achieving new frontiers. How did we get from Armstrong and Aldrin to this bullshit? How did we get from 'a giant leap for mankind' to 'days of our lives'?

As much as I hate to say it; it doesn't do anything good for the reputation of women astronauts.

[Steven S. Dallas]

It just goes to show how pathetic the space program has become since the Apollo days, when astronauts were actually pushing out achieving new frontiers

You can "achieve new frontiers" and still have a fucked up home life. It doesn't go to show anything, other than that these particular people need to get out more. Shit like this happens a hundred times a day, these people just happen to be astronauts.

This probably means they had weightless space sex, huh? That's awesome.

[ill-advised strategy]

Wait, there is good Tang?

^^^^
that's the gayest thing I've ever seen.

[Viva]

It just goes to show how pathetic the space program has become since the Apollo days, when astronauts were actually pushing out achieving new frontiers. How did we get from Armstrong and Aldrin to this bullshit? How did we get from 'a giant leap for mankind' to 'days of our lives'?

Well, if The Right Stuff is to be believed, then all of the (married) Mercury astronauts were getting it on, at one time or another, with the local Cape Canaveral bitches.

[DisArray]

You can "achieve new frontiers" and still have a fucked up home life. It doesn't go to show anything, other than that these particular people need to get out more. Shit like this happens a hundred times a day, these people just happen to be astronauts.

This probably means they had weightless space sex, huh? That's awesome.

I think what I meant was that the space program hasn't advanced at all in about thirty years. The space program has changed its emphasis from exploration and pushing the envelope of what's humanly possible to an emphasis on complacence, the familiar and not taking any risks. As awesome it is that they had space sex, I don't think it is a good use of taxpayer dollars to continue supporting this orbiting boondoggle of a Love Boat.

Of course all the astronauts are human, that is not my point. My point is that the space program has become completely emasculated, decadent, and pathetic, and this is just one symptom.

[PNWbrit]

Nice to see that NASA's new safety regime ensures astronauts are now getting blown more frequently than they are blown up.

[Tippster]

Holy shit - she's now being charged with attempted 1st degree murder.

BC-USA-ASTRONAUTS/MURDER-(URGENT) :BC-USA-ASTRONAUTS/MURDER (URGENT) US astronaut charged with attempted murder
ORLANDO, Fla., Feb 6 (Reuters) - Police filed attempted murder charges against a U.S. astronaut accused of trying to kidnap a woman she considered a rival for another astronaut's affections, preventing her release from jail on Tuesday.
A judge had granted bail for astronaut Lisa Nowak, who was arrested on Monday on charges including battery and attempted kidnapping, according to police in Orlando, Florida. But shortly before she was to be released, police filed the more serious charge of attempted first-degree murder, halting her release. ((Reporting by Barbara Liston, editing by doina chaicu; Reuters Messaging: jim.loney.reuters.comreuters.net; Miami bureau +1 305 810 2688 or e-mail: miami.newsroomreuters.com)) REUTERS 061711 GMT feb 07

[MeatPuppet]

My point is that the space program has become completely emasculated and pathetic, and this is just one symptom.

So if we had a moon base she wouldn't have done this?

[girlski0912]

This could suggest a need to test the long term affects of those weightless chambers that they put astronauts in training into. I think she had her brains scrambled at some point because sounds crazier than a shit house rat.

[13]

I think what I meant was that the space program hasn't advanced at all in about thirty years. The space program has changed its emphasis from exploration and pushing the envelope of what's humanly possible to an emphasis on complacence, the familiar and not taking any risks. As awesome it is that they had space sex, I don't think it is a good use of taxpayer dollars to continue supporting this orbiting boondoggle of a Love Boat.

Of course all the astronauts are human, that is not my point. My point is that the space program has become completely emasculated, decadent, and pathetic, and this is just one symptom.

one astronaut has a meltdown and you go off on some tangent about the space program being "emasculated, decadent, and pathetic."

wow, you're a fucking idiot.

[Tippster]

But it's the party line - Exploration = bad.... Bailing out Oil Companies = Good, mmm'kay?

[DisArray]

So if we had a moon base she wouldn't have done this?

No, she probably would have. But if the space program was focused on sending humans to Mars, and skipping all of the moon bases and floating love hotels, the hiring policy for Astronauts might be a lot more stringent in terms of psychological fitness, for the sake of the mission, and less focused on being politically correct.

[The AD]

I was expecting her to look a little crazier: http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/Bios/htmlbios/nowak.html

[MassLiberal]

Soo the real question is, did she get it on with the other astronaut in space????

[13]

No, she probably would have. But if the space program was focused on sending humans to Mars, and skipping all of the moon bases and floating love hotels, the hiring policy for Astronauts might be a lot more stringent in terms of psychological fitness, for the sake of the mission, and less focused on being politically correct.

it all makes sense now ... a misogynist, are we?

[Benny Profane]

The one bit of space trivia I learned from this incident is that astronauts wear diapers during takeoff and re- entry. No shit.

[DisArray]

it all makes sense now ... a misogynist, are we?

To the contrary; this astronaut has done nothing to dispense with the negative, and totally undeserved, stereotypes that women have had to deal with for centuries. I think that is a shame.

[Free Range Lobster]

diaper is full

[bklyn]

Holy shit - she's now being charged with attempted 1st degree murder.

Can you blame her? I might feel the need to beat down a ho to get some of this:



To infinity and beyond, baby!