Axis of Evil Wannabees
by John Cleese
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil", Libya, China and Syria today announced that they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil", which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address. - Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new Axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are just as evil . . . in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils . . . best at being evil . . . we're the best." - Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. - "An axis can't have more than three countries", explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussien. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wickedly cool." - International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. - Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what has become a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan and Serbia announced that they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil", forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil", while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really as Just Generally Disagreeable". - With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics". -
Canada, Mexico and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America", while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Want Sheep to Wear Lipstick". "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do", said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. - While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the "Axis of Countries Whose Names End in 'Guay", accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. - Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
Results 1 to 15 of 15
Thread: God Bless John Cleese
-
03-15-2003, 04:38 PM #1
Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- Alaska
- Posts
- 1,147
God Bless John Cleese
When you're feeling down, just remember: It's always darkest before it goes pitch .... fucking.... black.
-
04-19-2003, 03:15 PM #2
Registered User
- Join Date
- Nov 2001
- Location
- freeport new york
- Posts
- 182
now dats some funny shit.never checked in this part.been hangin with python for almost 30 years.lemon curry?
-
10-04-2003, 06:45 AM #3
Flatlander
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- Too Far South
- Posts
- 5,269
pad
For sure, you have to be lost to find a place that can't be found, elseways everyone would know where it was
-
10-06-2003, 09:04 AM #4
Setting a bad example
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- Where babies are made
- Posts
- 2,339
python rocks!
Of all the muthafuckas on earth, you the muthafuckest.
-
10-06-2003, 09:12 AM #5
Setting a bad example
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- Where babies are made
- Posts
- 2,339
python rocks!
Of all the muthafuckas on earth, you the muthafuckest.
-
10-07-2003, 12:59 PM #6
mexican for nachos
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- Kanaada
- Posts
- 148
time to change the status from "confirmed" to "pad-addict".......Originally posted by laseranimal
pad
Holy Mackeral."the fattest of the fat." R.Veltri 1999.
-
10-07-2003, 03:13 PM #7
Snow? Yes thank you.
- Join Date
- May 2002
- Location
- Bellingham
- Posts
- 1,698
maggot fest at Fawlty Towers?
In drove this drunken madman and stopped on a dime! Unfortunately the dime was in Mr. Rococo's pocket!
-
10-09-2003, 02:43 AM #8
Registered User
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- The avocado jungles east of Bakersfield
- Posts
- 53
RUN AWAY!!!!
"Do you know what PBR stands for? Delicious."
-
10-16-2003, 10:05 AM #9
OG
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
- Location
- Babylon
- Posts
- 13,837
-
12-28-2015, 06:57 PM #10
Registered User
- Join Date
- Dec 2009
- Location
- in a box on the porch
- Posts
- 5,348
Oldest thread in here.
-
12-28-2015, 09:52 PM #11
Registered User
- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Location
- here and there
- Posts
- 18,790
I luvd his flowery twats show.
watch out for snakes
-
12-28-2015, 09:59 PM #12
dba Farquhar
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- Video Bargainville
- Posts
- 1,398
Most curiously, the date of the first post is 7 months before the join date of the first poster.
-
12-28-2015, 10:29 PM #13
A very naughty rodent
- Join Date
- Oct 2003
- Location
- 写道
- Posts
- 13,606
I don't believe in curiosities, I believe in providence. ONS's posting date for this thread and his join date- while temporally disjointed -each have their purpose. It is why they exist. Whatever the Oracle told ONS before he started this thread was for him alone.
Originally Posted by Captain Awesome
Your dog just ate an avocado!
-
12-28-2015, 11:26 PM #14
Funky But Chic
- Join Date
- Sep 2001
- Location
- The Cone of Uncertainty
- Posts
- 49,304
There was a re-boot of this forum early on, I think it was on some other software and Owens move it to v-bulletin and couldn't save the posts but he was able to save the logins so some people's join date shows as well before the first post.
-
12-29-2015, 10:59 AM #15
dba Farquhar
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
- Location
- Video Bargainville
- Posts
- 1,398
Originally Posted by Viva
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks