PITA: Prepping for a Colonoscopy!

**Sinecure** · 11-26-2006, 09:23 PM

Yeah, I know I'm going to get shit for posting this.

I have a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. The preparation is a major bummer. I have a prep kit called "Half-Lytely". Not hardly. I stopped eating almost 24 hours ago. I took some pills at noon. Followed by a couple visits to the throne. Now I'm in the midst of drinking 2 litres of water mixed with some powder stuff that has a slightly syrupy, lemon-lime flavor. Blech. I'm over halfway through it, but I dread each glass. Oh, for a bonus, I did get to eat two cans of chicken broth today (my only nourishment other than water, those pills and this gross cocktail).

At least I know I'll be clean inside and out by tomorrow. I'm starving though. Couldn't they put an appetite suppresant in the pills?

I know, TMI. Just needed to vent.

**P_McPoser** · 11-26-2006, 10:23 PM

Haha. You're old.

**Sinecure** · 11-26-2006, 10:40 PM

Yeah, but at least I'm not full of shit now!

**runethechamp** · 11-26-2006, 11:42 PM

Haha, have done that kind of prep several times, and I'm not even old. I have pictures of the inside of my colon posted in a thread here somewhere, and there's still a piece of corn in there.

**Art Shirk** · 11-27-2006, 12:17 AM

Good on you for getting it done. My mother skipped her scheduled exam and was recently diagnosed with cancer. Any problems that the test can uncover are easily treatable if we are all somewhat vigilant. No TR needed however

**Humble** · 11-27-2006, 05:49 AM

are they fun?

**mrw** · 11-27-2006, 07:25 AM

Oh man, I'm supposed to road test a colonoscopy this year too. I. am really thinking of going the "virtual" route. The down side is that insurance doesn't want to cover it. The up side is, well, that should be obvious.

**4matic** · 11-27-2006, 07:46 AM

Tomorrow morning for me.. My last meal was at 04:30 this morning. Pills cost $35.

At least I get a good valium buzz out of it.

**lemon boy** · 11-27-2006, 08:59 AM

tis the season?

**Obstruction** · 11-27-2006, 09:21 AM

From another site:

(a couple are actually somewhat funny)

Colonoscopy humor:
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the
Hokey Pokey...."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

**P_McPoser** · 11-27-2006, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by Sinecure

Yeah, but at least I'm not full of shit now!

I'd venture to argue that not much has changed.

**lemon boy** · 11-27-2006, 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Obstruction

Colonoscopy humor:
A physician claims these are actual comments from his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:

For all actually getting borescoped this week I wish for you that your doctors actually sedate you (like they're supposed to) so you can't talk

**irul&ublo** · 11-27-2006, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by Sinecure

Yeah, I know I'm going to get shit for posting this.

I have a colonoscopy scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. The preparation is a major bummer. I have a prep kit called "Half-Lytely". Not hardly. I stopped eating almost 24 hours ago. I took some pills at noon. Followed by a couple visits to the throne. Now I'm in the midst of drinking 2 litres of water mixed with some powder stuff that has a slightly syrupy, lemon-lime flavor. Blech. I'm over halfway through it, but I dread each glass. Oh, for a bonus, I did get to eat two cans of chicken broth today (my only nourishment other than water, those pills and this gross cocktail).

At least I know I'll be clean inside and out by tomorrow. I'm starving though. Couldn't they put an appetite suppresant in the pills?

I know, TMI. Just needed to vent.

Oh don't worry, you'll vent plenty. And after all of that, you get to have a great big tube shoved up your ass.

**TeleHoar** · 11-27-2006, 12:08 PM

Just shout "Deeper! Deeper" every now and then.

**LAN** · 11-27-2006, 09:16 PM

Originally Posted by Humble

are they fun?

Bwa! YES! I give sedation for colonoscopies and EGD's all day long. I often wonder if patients remember what we're talking about. Things like "Dirty Sanchez" and "I'd like to bang her on the hood of my car" are often heard in our procedure rooms.

The tube isn't huge - it's the diameter of your pinky finger. The problem with the capsule endoscopy (ie: virtual route) is that should they find a polyp or something worth checking out, you have to take the nasty prep anyways. Do the prep, enjoy the sweet drugs and gorge yourself afterwards!

**4matic** · 11-27-2006, 09:50 PM

I'm downing my 20 pills in an hour with nothing to eat today.. Up at 04:30 to down 20 more. Hopefully I'm eating a steak by 10:30AM.

**asandygal** · 11-27-2006, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Sinecure

Yeah, but at least I'm not full of shit now!

Sinecure... best of luck (since when I met you, you only seemed half way filled with shit..... I'm guessing you are improving....

)

Seriously... best wishes are floating your way............

**The Dad** · 11-28-2006, 11:57 AM

TR?

Hope all's well, mang.

**Sinecure** · 11-28-2006, 12:12 PM

TR?

Not much to report. Thankfully. 36+ hours with no food is tough, but I did gorge last night and the tubes are functioning properly again today.

The prep is the biggest PITA. The actual colonoscopy I basically slept through.

Last year they found a polyp and had to schedule a second colonoscopy to take it out. In that one they used a little lassoo and snagged it off. It was benign, but the doc was happy to get it out of there. Nothing to report this time so I have a year before my next one.

I have to get them every year now because I have Ulcerative Colitis. My UC was originally sparked by overuse of Ibuprofen when skiing. I used to take 2-3 in the morning, 2-3 at lunch, and 2-3 after skiing. Now I can't take it, or any NSAIDS, at all. Its a good drug, but use it in moderation.

The facility where I had this done is right by AlpineDad's house!

**The Dad** · 11-28-2006, 01:23 PM

Originally Posted by Sinecure

The facility where I had this done is right by AlpineDad's house!

How, uh, convenient.

**4matic** · 11-28-2006, 02:20 PM

Echo Sinecure response. Prep is the hardest thing. Although the fasting was difficult, it made me feel great! My facial skin felt so nice this morning. No oil at all.

I have two pollyps in the transverse colon that require follow up console in 2 weeks.

The drugs work so fast, including recovery, it's remarkable.

Dr. Scott Levensen in San Carlos California was great.

**runethechamp** · 11-28-2006, 02:31 PM

Haha, I think all I remember from my colonoscopies is just a vague feeling of having something shoved up my ass. The prep sucked, but at least I was mostly out of it during the procedure.