warning..... puns

[mntlion]

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After
carefully planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and
made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks
away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an
obvious error, he replied:

"Monsieur, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

(And you thought I lacked De Gaulle to send you a story like this.)

[bagtagley]

The Trids were a very small group of people that lived in the Amazon. Throughout their lives, they were constantly harassed by a family of giants that enjoyed coming into the Trids' village and kicking them like soccer balls. After years and years of abuse, the Tirds sent for a religious man to come help them. Word got to a kind Rabbi who came to the aid of the poor Trids. The Rabbi arrived in the village only to witness a kicking session in progress. Disgusted, the Rabbi ran infront of the giant and yelled "leave these poor people alone, kick me instead!" The giant laughed and replied "silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids"

[Buster Highmen]

Why did the gay duck join the football team?
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He heard the ref was blowing fouls.