friday game: stupid things said to you by non-skiers/riders

[BushwackerinPA]

"so where do y'all keep the moguls in the summer?"

"they vacation in South American and New Zealand"

[DJMingus]

I rode up with some older dude last season who assumed that because I was on a snowboard I was a Ross Rebliati expert. He was nice enough but I finally had to tell him that I really didn't know much about Ross Rebliati and whether he actually smoked weed or not.

He was just hoping you'd think he was cool and spark up a bowl.

[Sensisnow]

Take your pick http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=skiing

I hope they were referring to the first one for TL's sake.

[4matic]

""Those skis are too big to be snow skis, they really have to be meant for waterskiing." Pointing at my Bros on the one day it was deep enough to justify using them in Michigan.

Ironic.. In 1994 I was only an average skier so I bought some Rossignol Axiom DP 183's new to hang with my boarder buddies. The humiliation from the "core" skiers was brutal. "Hey Fat Boy", "if you knew how to ski", etc. etc. Forced me to learn snowboarding! Times change..

[BeanDip4All]

Take your pick http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=skiing

I hope they were referring to the first one for TL's sake.

HA HA HA HA! Although knowing the guys I work with, they probably would like a little #1 while doing #2.

[ptavv]

"Where's Mt. Hood?" - in the Timberline Parking Lot

:lol:

54321

[mc_roon]

ive gotten the 'why did you move to Utah' questions a lot, and i have finally started to tell people ive converted to LDS cause the reactions are better, especially when i have a beer in my hand.

also gotten:

"dude, the tail of your ski snapped off(while skiing ak rocket swallowtails)

on a chairlift with a mother and young child (child)"What makes moguls?" (mother) "the resort places rocks under the snow"

"i used to be really good at skiing, but ive found that snowblades take more skill"

[danimal's dead]

I love running into tourist groups on snowmobiles in the Canyon Creek backcountry. Usually goes like this.

Them, "Are you lost?"
Me, "Nope."
Them, "But the ski resort is like a mile away."
Me, "Yeah, so how bout a ride."
Them, "Uhhh."

About this time I usually climb on behind some guys wife and snuggle up to her ass. If it's a guy I get out the tow strap.

[rideit]

Top of Teton pass, after hitching up from coal creek:
"where do you want to go? Up top here, or down at the ticket office?"



speechless.....

[Spark]

Asked to me in regards to telemarking.....

"I don't think people can ski downhill when their heel is not attached."

[flatlander#2]

Asked to me in regards to telemarking.....

"I don't think people can ski downhill when their heel is not attached."

just not very fast.

[icanseeformiles(andmiles)]

from a liftie 30 years ago

You can't ride the lift, those aren't skis (on telel's)

[Graupel]

This thread is great. I'm laughing my ass off.

While patrolling, I watched a guy enter the terrain park. He proceeded to hit an S-berm straight on, went airborne, and landed on his back. I skied down to him and asked him if he was alright.

He said: you guys shouldn't put big bumps in the snow like that, people could get hurt.
Me: You know that you are in the terrain park, right?
Him: Yeah, but somebody might not see those bumps.

[MadPatSki]

Co-workers as they look outside in disgust (face it, we live in Ottawa and it's snow in winter and it generally stays (if lucky) from november to april - if you're not happy move):

"When is it ever going to stop snowing?"

"Again, I tired of all this snow (on a terrible snow year)"

"Go ahead rain, melt all the snow away"


On TV/radio:

"It's going to be a beautiful weekend. Temps way above normal which should help melt the snow away." (I've trying to teach my kids (3 and 8) to stop using it's nice/bad in describing weather. Use the terms it's sunny, it's snowing, it's raining...etc) My nice and beautiful weather is very different from the people I work with.


From my mom (she was once married to a skibum (my dad)):

"You should stop skiing, it's April for God's sake"

"You're no longer a kid (I'm 41). You should get serious how that you have kids and a wife and stop only think about skiing"

"You're thinking, right?" (as I told her maybe a week after coming back East from Mammoth that we were going back West to the Northwest for your vacation in August/September which would included skiing).

"Don't get yourselves hurt/killed" (what I call positive vibe)


From the US Custom officer sometimes in the early 90.

"Where are you going in this snowstorm? And why do you have 4 pairs of ski in the car? (I was with a buddy)"

"There's still skiing?" Late in the season, especially when Killington used to make it to June.

Don't worry, I have many more positive vibe from my wife, kids and close friends.

[Ubersheist]

Ok... the dumbest thing I ever heard was just after a warm storm blew through Tahoe last season, and all of the resorts got rain from top to bottom. I called the Kirkwood snow report, and heard Tim Cohee say something like the following:

"Our base is has not been affected by the recent rains. Most people don't know this, but rain only runs along the surface of the snow, and doesn't affect the depth of the base."

WTF????

Mr. Cohee was a veritable fountain of dumb-ass remarks when he did the snow reports.

[skiitsbetter]

"I'm skiing this weekend"
"Oh on a glacier?"
"Sunshine is still open until the end of May n00b"

Apparently there was this lady at Silverstar who tried get a refund for their lift ticket because there was too much snow and she couldn't ski.

"Jasper is much closer to Edmonton than Banff is"

"Sunshine is too flat"

"TeePee town chair is too slow"

Oh and my personal favourite "Hey are Stanley Zircon beacons good?"
"Uhh, that's a stud finder!!"

[upallnight]

That's the beauty of living in Utah if you ask me. I was up on Twin Peaks a few weeks ago on a Saturday and summited at about 10:30 AM and didn't see another soul until I was on my way down.

(aside)
are you really saying the beauty of utah is how uncrowded the wasatch is?

(does that make me a nonskier with that question?)

[doublediamond223]

I was sitting on the bench at the Beaver Creek base at the end of the day with skis and poles sitting next to me. Some rich bogner-clad gaper sat down next to me and starts a conversation. She was like, "yeah the whole family does this every year. I forgot how hard skiing is! Where are the easy runs?"

Me: Speechless............."Uh you may want to look into a lesson."
[I had my boot crossed across my knee at the time]
Bogner: "So do you ski or snowboard?"
[I look at the dobermann on my foot ... WTF]
Me: Uh i ski.
Bogner:So why is that fabric thing on your boot? [referring to my boot gloves]
Me: Because these are race boots and get very cold.
Bogner:Oh I saw racing on the olympics! Isn't that dangerous?
Me: It's a calculated risk, it generally helps if you can ski.

She got a phone call and left. Ugh I hate people who don't understand the passion of the sport.

Only at Beaver Creek....

[montanaskier]

Greatest thread ever..


From inside the Tram at Big Sky:

" Where are the green runs from up here?"

[Plakespear]

Said to Inspector Gadget and myself while riding the lift at the Canyons during a storm: "Too bad it's snowing."

[baseWeldr]

gesturing from nonskier construction coworker when attempting to mimic skiing
_both hands to one side- double pole plant & butt wiggle
_repeat double pole plant to other side w/wiggle & "shss shss" sounds

"yeah jimmy.... something like that..."

[Elin]

I got a nice one walking back into dorms with ski pants on and poles in my hand...

"DID YOU SKI TODAY?!?" (I knew it was going to be a good one, opening up with such a question..)
-"Yeah."
"Where?"
-"Alta."
"I'VE NEVER HEARD OF ANY RESORT IN THIS STATE OPENING IN SEPTEMBER!!!"
-"It's not."
"Well then.... how'd you ski?"

[f2f]

cow-orker teaching another the ropes:

"If you plan to learn skiing you should get a pass: you'll pay it off in a couple of months! Of course, there's always backcountry skiing, and it's free!"

[Out_to_lunch]

Yelling from chairlift to verge of controll gaper below on groomer: "Hey! Your shoe's untied." Then watching as gaper looks down to check & proceeds to yard sale.

Bwahahahahaha!!! Hilarious, got to try this one out sometime this season.

"Can you lock your heels down?"
While riding up a lift at Beech Mtn in NC with a middle aged patroler. Me on teles. I don't know if she was asking me to do it if I can for "safety" or if she just didn't know...

"I didn't know you can cross country ski downhill" in regards to telemarking

"Wait, how do you go up on snow" While trying to explain skins

I get the same kind of thing when I start talking about music with people who aren't musically educated. I'll be explaining why some part of a piece or song is so cool and they just stare at me with very confused looks on their faces.

[skiitsbetter]

Hah how about actions of non skiers?

Some people at Sunshine with Sunshine Cards (discount cards, something like a $13 discount on each day pass, Albertans buy them), well they put them on a lanyard (everybody carries their passes on a lanyard at SSV, you only need to scan it at the very bottom), but they leave the lanyard outside their jacket so it flaps around, and there is a chance of losing it and having somebody else take it and charge some ski days to your credit card, all while they could just as easily place it inside their jackets...