Post by Numbers: Jet powered toilets and caffeinated air.

**meatdrink9** · 09-03-2006, 08:27 AM

When we first met he was jumping out of tornados in an empty stretch of desert. He kept a team of elderly Asian women in a shipping container to help power his spontaneous rented SUV freeway demolition derbies. Even after making the cover of “Unicorns and Ammo” and founding a band with a confused cab driver he still didn’t possess the powers to flush an entire hotel room down it’s own toilet piece by piece. It angered him to the point of inserting a beer bottle into his ass. With the bottle still in place he decided to cut a rug, but instead of dancing he just stole the drinks of all the girls he was talking to when they got up to dance and then would move onto the next group to steal theirs.

[Any of you other criminals feel free to take it from here. I'll jump back in later.]

**Buster Highmen** · 09-03-2006, 08:44 AM

When the demolition cooking squad took the fancy of Nancy, she ripped off her mangy vinyl boots and proclaimed an undying desire for genetically engineered danger bunnies, frothing with atomic carrots.

Soon they had formed a cadre of bent toenail wielding manticores, seething with a teenage angst thick with milkshakes, fuzzy dice and bongos in the back. They even did their training manuevers to the Peppermint Twist. Oh shake it Sally.

Then when the greasers shook off their hangovers and polished their hobnail boots they fell into conspiratorial cabalas and schemed over manipulating the poll for the Prom Queen and planning mass enema dance parties festooned with used tampons, soggy rubbers to a heavy beat on old bedpans.

**Hugh Jass** · 09-03-2006, 09:09 AM

The party began with an accelerating crescendo of thunderous bedpan whump and the rhythmic simulation of a sex act with a cactus on the guano-encrusted altar. My nostrils flared at the acrid scent of deodorant and whimsey.

Raw and weeping like a freshly scolded ham sandwich, she skipped exponentially while vomiting flowers, bile, and a pink raincoat. Her incoherent yodeling grated extra sharp cheddar from my ears.

**truth** · 09-03-2006, 09:19 AM

[it would seem we had criminals in or midst that went unseen, either that or they are foiling our plan again]

Spores. It was the spores that set him free, free from the bondage of Wyoming's little Hollywood. Movie stars be damned, there was no line that could contain him. Only a poor choice in footwear could stop him now. Has anyone seen the emu? I think we left without him. It was flying a hawk deep in the bowels of sinsation when last I heard of it. Dollar for dollar it was a waste of time but the adidas track suit beckoned. Could you resist the velour pleasure of a Kid Rock impersonator? The tricky thing about jumping out of tornado's is getting in them in the first place. Traveling with the band helped though. Cab's are musical destiny, aka the vortex from which grammatical convexity spews forth in fits of technicolor cornucopia's of light. Such places can only be found on the 27th tier of tower 3, try the first door on the right and bring ice. I hoped the bottle could be found in time. Every jungle had walls of water and fire. They eased the mind when the trapeze ceased to work. I wondered if I should split these 3's and double down on a bottle of grape-lime Smirnoff tea. I think it's best that we sent a team to New York to find the subway in the sky. I heard the safety equipment is faulty at best and those are odds I liked.

**truth** · 09-03-2006, 12:38 PM

Neon time machines are the real deal. Frozen evil meats are not just for breakfast anymore once you know the truth about corned beef hash and stuffed french toast. I feared walking in circles might not aways lead you back to where you started. This is especially true when people get blurred and the songs are moving furniture with the aid of gorillas dressed in black pool suits. I recalled a time when life was simpler and $39 women could be at your door in under 30 minutes. They loved slot machines and big hair all the same. Long walks on hot streets carrying jugs of juice should be avoided when you've lost a little brown dog. I never did find sparky. The explorer rodeo is not just an analogy for a late night buffet as one might have you believe. Having said that I'd never trust a bellman with my cab fare. The jet toilet ate our dingo but could not handle the ice bucket lid while reading Details. It was a urinary delight of sorts.

**Buster Highmen** · 09-04-2006, 10:47 AM

The conversation didn't go so much around in circles, but instead chose some elliptic hyperbole, shinnying up a wider variety of conic sections, waxed pudenda and ermine encrusted Edsel bumpers. For underneath that fake leopard skin or was it ermine, resisted the carbuncular chromatics of neofifties curvature. So that brings us back to Algebraic varieties again. And someone solved the Poincare' conjecture, so someone is due two free beers, at least.
What laws of physics were transgrerssed, what odors of fraternity what bratwursts of fecundity were grilled, rolled, squished between the naugahyde seats in puerile thrusts?

**Buster Highmen** · 09-04-2006, 10:48 AM

Oh to hell with all of this talkling in circles crap. I obeyed the vegas law and kept the camera at home. There should be no trip report. We did Vegas and it did us back. We tried to be bad but our high standards kept us out of any real trouble.

Without a doubt though I will always remeber this trip as the time md9 truth and I decided it was for the best to get the hell out of the area we were in and if that meant leaving Meats of evil behind, so be it.

In our squalid booze soaked 4:00 am in the morning brains this was the only option. Run away, run away fast and to hell with those that fall behind.

Only much later did the cold hard reality hit us. We just ditched your brother at 4:00 am in vegas, and he has no money.

That was cool

**truth** · 09-04-2006, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by frozenwater

Oh to hell with all of this talkling in circles crap. I obeyed the vegas law and kept the camera at home. There should be no trip report. We did Vegas and it did us back. We tried to be bad but our high standards kept us out of any real trouble.

Without a doubt though I will always remeber this trip as the time md9 truth and I decided it was for the best to get the hell out of the area we were in and if that meant leaving Meats of evil behind, so be it.

In our squalid booze soaked 4:00 am in the morning brains this was the only option. Run away, run away fast and to hell with those that fall behind.

Only much later did the cold hard reality hit us. We just ditched your brother at 4:00 am in vegas, and he has no money.

That was cool

Holy shit!

Frozen must have seized control of the time traveling neon and morhed into an amalgamation of Buster and his former self.