Employee Test

[Clack]

I can't believe people really think they'll be hired with NO computer skills at all. Their resumes all say they're wizards of course.

After we interview we ask them to do a quick task which should take about 30 seconds. An open folder has two pictures, a .txt with some email addresses, and a word document/building flyer in it. The verbal instructions are: put the picture into the flyer, look it over, send it to three people and have one of them blind copied.

Not too hard, right? It's not like I asked them to insert a column into excel or something.

The open window/folder with the word "Test" stares them down. They start to get a little fidgety. I can see the wheels turning. I can hear the internal dialogue. "OK, I figured out gmail. This can't be much harder."

They're on the right track! They find the insert menu, go down to picture, AND.... disaster. Oh where oh where could that damn picture be???? For fucks sake, they could drag the damn icon over and drop it right in the middle of the page if they wanted. The folder is open, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM. It's got a damn drop down menu right on the top of it. The one that says TEST that's staring them down. (F: ) is not that much harder than (C: ) or (D: ) to find.

God forbid I go into the email disasters and inability to press the spell check button or even see the red or green squigglies. The sick pleasure I receive watching these poor souls struggle quickly dissipates as I realize I'm going to be without an office ho for at least another week.

Worse yet, if they can send a fucking email they think they're worth $60K + health benefits. Maybe I'll start taking pictures of these losers as they leave the office and post them here. That and I'm having them do the test before we waste any more time talking. That's three already this week.

[RootSkier]

You can drag a picture directly into a Word document? Who knew?

Oh, and what email program? Do they get to pick.

[Sutter]

what exactly do you do? and what strange murky pool of retardness do you find these kids?

[truth]

For 60k I'll send your emails with unlimited pics and bcc's.

[Clack]

I've heard, "Oh, I'm not used to Outlook" a couple times already. I thought that was an essential part of the "Office Suite" they all proclaim to know so well.

[Cyber Cop]

You still use email?

[daPig]

Email software can be learned....

A nice set of boobs cannot.

Keep that in mind when you interview.

[Sutter]

daPig speaks daTruth

[Clack]

edit: daPig - I think that's why our favorite girl thinks she's worth 60K.
truth - see daPig's comments



I put it on Craigslist which is awesome for almost everything else.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

edit: daPig - I think that's why our favorite girl thinks she's worth 60K.
truth - see daPig's comments

We need a pic to confirm the $60,000 question.

better yet, have her upload a pic of herself here as Stage II of the test.

[Cornholio]

better yet, have her upload a pic of herself here as Stage II of the test.

I've seen doods with advanced science degrees screw this up.

[Cyber Cop]

I've seen doods with advanced science degrees screw this up.

I'll need 2 forms of id to believe that. Advanced science degree, screw? Sha, right.

[lingcod]

I would fail this test with flying colors. Can I bring along my teenagers as advisors? Oh, by the way, I am a friggin' computer wizard. Really.

[nutcase]

I suck at computers. Your test sounds hard. Give me $60,000.

[PTracy P1]

I work with incompetent fucktards too.

[mnflyfish]

Yeah, welcome to my world! I'm a recruiter and we get these guys who should have been saving for retirement but NOOO, and now they think they can change jobs, make $150K+ a year, yet they can't send a simple email. "Yeah, I can help you, I have a friend with a temp service and they are hiring people to give directions at the airport, pay's 11.75 an hour."

Good Luck, and I feel your pain!
Jay

[PaSucks]

What the hell is "blind copied?" Everything else is easy, but I've never heard of that.

[PlayHarder]

What the hell is "blind copied?" Everything else is easy, but I've never heard of that.

bcc(blind carbon copy) - sends a copy to another recipient w/o showing the others.

You should be trying to hire in Alberta right now. Not only are complete morons asking for 6 figure salaries, they're getting them.

[ak_powder_monkey]

Who uses outlook?

[icanseeformiles(andmiles)]

lots of companies - good for me, it keeps computer geeks making $60k

[sherpahigh]

bcc(blind carbon copy) - sends a copy to another recipient w/o showing the others.

You should be trying to hire in Alberta right now. Not only are complete morons asking for 6 figure salaries, they're getting them.

Jesus... Tell me about it. Trying to fill jobs in Calgary right now is pure hell.

[edg]

Who wants to give me a 6 figure salary and moving benefits for being able to use Outlook?

I can copy and paste too!

edg

[edg]

Just thought I'd add : That chick on the advert about blackheads who's in superman (Lana or somesuch?) is pretty hot, but only really reaches meh/10 in the hotness scale.

edg

[DownhillRider]

I just hope it's this easy to be rich in Calgary after i'm done with university!

BMW Z4 here I come :P

(Oh Clack, you must have some seriously shitty luck to find people that stupid.)