Chicken TR (NSR)

[yentna]

So Ski Monkey and I had a delicious chicken dinner the other night - you know, the kind where you're starving, stop by a grocery store, and are taken in by those hot, tender, ready-to-eat, whole rotisserie chickens under the heat lamps. $5 later, you're on your way home, ravenous, lusting after the juicy goodness in the bag on your lap.

We tore into that poor hapless chicken, me going for the dark meat and him for the white, utter perfection, dripping down our chins, wondrous after a long day. The dog was watching us with bated breath, trying not to beg but doing poorly - when would he get his share?

I finished first, sighing and rubbing my full tummy, and gave the lucky spoiled dog all my leftover skin and soft parts. SM finished next, setting the majority of the chicken bones (including the entire skeleton and heaps of gristle and other remnants) on his plate on the counter, admonishing the dogger that he'd have to wait for his treat. (Jean Luc used to jump up on the counter to steal food, but we broke that habit early on and he knows better....)

Sitting watching TV and reading, our bellies comfortably full and satisfied, with dogger lying in the kitchen and chewing his rawhide, we passed the evening.

After a while, SM goes into the kitchen for something, and after a long pause, calls out: "Hon, did you do something with the chicken?"

My response: "Um, no...............uh, why?"

"It's gone!"

At this, dogger looks up from his rawhide, glances sideways at SM with a grin, and slowly starts thumping his tail. "Like, duh, guys....hee hee," he seems to say.

"Jean Luc, did you REALLY eat the WHOLE chicken????" More and faster tail thumps, I swear to God he's grinning. Then he leaps up with a self satisfied smirk and starts trying to PLAY with us! So pleased with himself....

We search everywhere. Kitchen, deck, living room, bathroom, hall, bedroom, everywhere. No trace. No bone fragments. No gristle. No skin. No grease on the carpet. No smears anywhere. The only sign that he took the chicken bones from the plate is a streak of grease across the counter and down the edge of the dishwasher from pulling it, then....nothing! Somehow, he pulled it down, ate the ENTIRE kit and caboodle (and did so very quietly I might add, in full sight, with his back to us so we thought he was chewing his rawhide the whole time), and left almost no trace. Amazing.

Brilliant criminal dog. He's got a great future in meat stealing....

We laughed so hard, and laughed the next day too....

.....and worried of course since cooked chicken bones can be bad news, but he hasn't had any issues (no vomiting, acting in pain, abdomen tenderness, etc.) and the bones were super soft from being cooked so long, so we think he's okay. Still, hysterical.

[phUnk]

I've lost track of how many times we've been outsmarted like this. The game is afoot!

[shmerham]

My Mom's 55 lbs australian shepherd could clean 1 lbs of boneless chicken off a foreman grill in less than 10 seconds. The equivalent for me would be eating 3 lbs of chicken in the same amount of time. I couldn't eat 3 lbs period. I could eat 1 lbs of chicken, probably; but it would take me at least 10 or 15 minutes if I was going for speed.

BTW, great name for your dog.

[mr_gyptian]

My Mom's 55 lbs australian shepherd could clean 1 lbs of boneless chicken off a foreman grill in less than 10 seconds. The equivalent for me would be eating 3 lbs of chicken in the same amount of time. I couldn't eat 3 lbs period. I could eat 1 lbs of chicken, probably; but it would take me at least 10 or 15 minutes if I was going for speed.

BTW, great name for your dog.

ummh, no you couldn't. certainly not from a rotisserie chicken.

however, if you'd like to prove it I'm sure the maggotry could use a little stupid human trick betting this friday.

[shmerham]

ummh, no you couldn't. certainly not from a rotisserie chicken.

however, if you'd like to prove it I'm sure the maggotry could use a little stupid human trick betting this friday.

I didn't say from a rotisserie. I was referring to the boneless breasts that my Mom's dog could inhale. While they're not as impressive as the whole chicken, the instantaneous dissapearance was pretty amazing. You'd open the fridge to get something and all the chicken would be gone.

[LegoSkier]

Dogs are the true king of eaters. They should put them up against that skinny korean dude that wins the hot dog contests. You need to watch the chicken bones though. Had a dog (the fucked up dog - long story on him) that had to be in an oxygen tent for a week after aspirating a sharp chicken bone.

[Tippster]

I hope he chewed up the bones really well. Look for blood in his stool, because chicken bones are the worst bones your dog can eat since they shatter into splinters.

I'm not trying to be a douche - what's done is one - but my friend's dog did the same thing (actually getting into the trash and pulling all the bones out) and he needed surgery for a punctured gut.

[yentna]

I hope he chewed up the bones really well. Look for blood in his stool, because chicken bones are the worst bones your dog can eat since they shatter into splinters.

I'm not trying to be a douche - what's done is one - but my friend's dog did the same thing (actually getting into the trash and pulling all the bones out) and he needed surgery for a punctured gut.

Yeah, we're keeping an eye on him. It was super funny just that he did it, but at the same time we would never have allowed him to do it if we'd known. And looking for signs of trouble.

[Blatant]

My dog loves rib bones. crunches the shit of out em. My teeth hurt listening to him crack them. I'll agree they are the king of eaters....unless of course you're trying to give the dog medicine of sorts. Then they are brilliant at avoiding the medicine, kind of interesting actually

[watersnowdirt]

One Super Bowl, my friend brought gobs of buffalo wings and heated them up in the oven. We only managed to eat a couple and left a tray of about 15 or so on the oven.

Sophie got them all.

I took her to the vet the next day (she'd done it overnight since like dumbasses we'd left the tray out), and she needed to get an enema. Poor thing - every time we go to the vet now she shakes and immediately hides her butt by either sitting down and with her tail.

Yup - dogs are eating machines.

[Crinkle]

we left a 5 pound pork loin in the kitchen sink one day to thaw. We went out to do some shopping, came back to find a missing pork loin and a dog with a very bloated stomach. We found the wrapper in our bedroom and maybe 1 pound of the pork loin behind the front door.

Another occaision Shasta ate an entire bread bowl, the big ones that you make dipping bowls out of. damn that dog can be a pig when he gets a hole of human food.

[snowsprite]

This TR ruled!!
(and now I'm craving supermarket-rotisserie chicken)

Sprite

[warthog]

My dog did that once. Entire rotisserie chicken carcass, gone. I thought for sure I had thrown it out. Looked everywhere, nothing. The kicker is, my dog weighs 22 lbs, now. This happened when he was a puppy- couldn't have been more than 12-15 lbs. The chicken was at least half his size. I still can't believe he put the whole thing down. I am pretty sure he ate the wax paper it sits on, too.

I had to follow him around for a week. My neighbors must have thought it strange, when I would bend down and thoroughly inspect my dog's fresh dookie. I know it was the highlight of my puppy rearing career. Luckily, no damage. He had plenty of time to chew 'em up, though.

[warthog]

Another occaision Shasta ate an entire bread bowl, the big ones that you make dipping bowls out of. damn that dog can be a pig when he gets a hole of human food.

My friends have Beagles, the kings of eating. They have child locks on every ground level cabinet, so the thing won't eat everything. Well, one time it ate an entire rum cake. That was some funny shit.

[Daywalker]

The people in my office got a rotisserie chicken today, bastards. I had to turn down pieces because of running and biking this weekend.

[Stikki]

Dogs are the true king of eaters. They should put them up against that skinny korean dude that wins the hot dog contests.

Kobayashi already got his ass kicked by a bear.

[iceman]

The people in my office got a rotisserie chicken today, bastards. I had to turn down pieces because of running and biking this weekend.

Does this make sense?

[CRACKER]

Beer can chicken is on the Q and there no fucking way my dogs will get a sniff of it!

[yentna]

This TR ruled!!
(and now I'm craving supermarket-rotisserie chicken)

Sprite

The absolute ULTIMATE...Snowsprite likes my TR! Yay!

And btw, I love all the doggie eating escapade stories.....hilarious! Especially the puppy-poo-inspection report. Damn that little guy had an appetite!

[PNWbrit]

Does this make sense?

I couldn't figure it out either.

[Buzzworthy]

Now that Zanik is old (8) and that is old for a Great Dane, we let him "clean up" after Taylor. He waits and waits and once we get her out of the high chair (or she climbs out herself now ), I say "go". Lick, lick, goble, goble and a quick wipe of the floor area and all is clean as a whistle.



In years past, I can't count how many times he has done the "grab and go" with different meats and chicken. Anyone who has seen him in person knows that he can pull WHATEVER he wants off a normal size kitchen counter. He knows better, but hell, if I was that big, I would do it too.


Yetna and Monkey boy, you do have a very smart dog. Watch out!

[Ski Monkey]

Does this make sense?

I don't think so. Maybe my love of rotisserie chicken is clouding my mind.

[Joey Joe Joe Junior Shabadoo]

The first dog my parents ever had managed to eat half of a 3lb pound solid chocolate Easter Bunny one year while we were at mass. We can home and she was semi-concious on our kitchen floor. After spending 3 days at the vet she pulled through and went on live to be 19. I am not even sure what they gave her at the vet but she was one lucky pooch. We also had an Akita who every so often caught, killed and devoured groundhogs. I am talking bones, skin, everything. Needless to say he didn't get many kisses.

[Andy_B]

My dog ate a whole loaf of sour dough bread last summer, paper bag and all. All I heard was a slight crumple of some paper. Later that day when I went to start dinner, which is what the bread was for I couldn't find it. Nothing, no bread DNA, no bag DNA.

[PNWbrit]

The Boxer dog my family had while I was a child once ate 10 jam filled doughnuts.

On another occasion it ate half of one of my mothers homemade fruit cakes. These cakes are a standing family joke. Eating a raisn filled cinder block would have been easier.