channelling my energy...relationship related, wwmd

**Tyrone Shoelaces** · 06-20-2006, 04:45 PM

Dooooood.....I know exactly how you must feel....been going through the same shit for the past 8-9 or whatever months. 1 month is not long at all as others have said and I too found that channelling my energy into skiing, running, biking, all that positivie stuff is a great way to shake out some demons.

I second the group-activity thing that someone else mentioned. Look around and there's got to be say, bike groups that go on weekly afternoon rides or runs, triathalon/duathlon groups that train together, etc. etc. Super good way to meet like minded people.

What about that waitress from Las Lenas that was helping you with your Spanish? Got her number?

Yoga -- If any of your friends are thinkin about movin to NorCal ...give 'em my number please

**Crinkle** · 06-20-2006, 04:47 PM

i know plenty of single girls here in D-town, worthless i know

**Van_skier** · 06-20-2006, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by Stoysluttie1

And if anyone in the salt lake/pc area knows of a lady that likes to bike, run, climb, explore, travel, ski, canyoneer, yoga.....

As someone else already suggested, try online dating sites...

I thought it was a little weird at first, but I'd definitely recommend it since I found myself a great maggot that way

**Trackhead** · 06-20-2006, 05:31 PM

Don't know what to add for the relationship stuff..............but HOLY SHIT!

Nice work on your time and placing in the steeple chase, freak on a leash!

Wanna run the Oquhirr traverse this year? I'm a slow runner, but it would still be fun.

**yogachik** · 06-20-2006, 05:38 PM

Well, Stoy, if you're ever this way...

And Tyrone -- you, too!

**MeatPuppet** · 06-20-2006, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by Stoysluttie1

Any comments or suggestions?

The person you are now, the one who still loves your SO, will always love your SO. This will never change. But, that person will slowly be replaced by the person you become. You can't rush this process.

Stay active, stay close to your friends, and above all, be patient.

Good luck dude!

**SnowTigress** · 06-20-2006, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by Twoplanker

However, I gotta say, if any of you ladies (or guys that know good ladies) are single, Stoy is a catch. ...this guy is a STUD. Smart, fun, happy, easy-going, and throws down with the best.

Stoy- My advice: Take it slow.
The fix is not quick and probably never absolute. But time will fade the intensity of yuck feelings you have right now. There are tons of really cool girls out there with whom you could surpass your last relationship. But you gotta heal up first, so go slow, so you're ready when she comes along.
And also, keep busy and near good friends while making new ones.

**seanyob** · 06-20-2006, 06:29 PM

Wow, I thought I was the only one dealing with shit like this right now. 9 1/2 years for me and the sig other.... ended abruptly.

One thing, and it just may be me, is writing about your feelings (such as you've done here). It helps me understand exactly what I'm feeling when there is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions running through my head and body. It helps me really organize what I feel and I can address each thought or feeling. I read it back to myself, rework it and it all just helps so much.

It's only been a week and a half for me right now and there are really painful ups and downs. I was on the verge of freaking out yesterday....so confused, sick to my stomach, dizzy, just the plain shits. I'm afriad that this will last for months as it has for others here and close friends of mine. I really don't want to be depressed for months.

Whatever you do, don't hit the bottle. I had two bad nights drinking my pain away and it was just the worst the next day. Hungover, feeling guilty, and heartbroken...a triple downer.

Also, don't sit and brood about it (which it appears you aren't). One of my best buds told me this the other day after he admitted to being depressed for more than a year. He lives down in LA and I never saw it so it was news to me. I knew he was kinda down for a while but not to the extent he described the other day. I felt terrible for him and that I hadn't done anything major to help. He internalizes though and is good at masking his feelings like myself.

I need to follow your and Erica's lead....more exercise! I actually have been exercising, but I guess just not enough. Time to get out and stop feeling like shit.

**Kiki** · 06-20-2006, 06:56 PM

My advice... take the bad with the good. Look back at what you learned in this relationship, what you need to work on, what drives you insane and how to make the next one better.

**bklyn** · 06-20-2006, 08:35 PM

You guys are soooo young to be heartbroken.

It ain't over.

You can and will love many people in your life. If you tried your best and it didn't work out, give yourself an appropriate time to heal and then get after it. You never know who will smile at you... and your heart will say WOW!

You might not be over it in a week or a month, but don't let it drag on forever. Go forward with courage and an open heart.

**shera** · 06-20-2006, 08:52 PM

You're getting all the good advice you need. I just want to say thanks for sharing your vulnerability here. I'm often too scared to do that.

**Blurred** · 06-20-2006, 09:06 PM

time heals all wounds....or is it time wounds all heels? I forget.....

Meh. Chances are after that amount of time spent with her, you'll get back together. 50/50

**iceman** · 06-20-2006, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by bklyntrayc

You guys are soooo young to be heartbroken.

It ain't over.

You can and will love many people in your life. If you tried your best and it didn't work out, give yourself an appropriate time to heal and then get after it. You never know who will smile at you... and your heart will say WOW!

You might not be over it in a week or a month, but don't let it drag on forever. Go forward with courage and an open heart.

Trayc pretty much kicks Dear Abby's ass, she needs her own column for this stuff.

**shera** · 06-20-2006, 10:23 PM

Originally Posted by iceman

Trayc pretty much kicks Dear Abby's ass, she needs her own column for this stuff.

She's ours and we ain't givin her away!

**Beaver** · 06-20-2006, 10:31 PM

I didn't read all the replys so if someone already said it...

Travel, just get away from your house for a while. Go anywhere as long as it wasn't somewhere you went with her or were planning on going with her.

**midget** · 06-21-2006, 01:41 AM

Originally Posted by Stoysluttie1

What else wold help.....hucking a smooth floating flip off a cliff and landing in some super soft utah powpow!!!!!

Sounds like the southern hemisphire is calling stoy.......
Wait, you live in PC now?

**midget** · 06-21-2006, 01:46 AM

Originally Posted by Trackhead

I'm a slow runner, but it would still be fun.

Somehow I find that one hard to believe.....

**Plakespear** · 06-21-2006, 12:16 PM

Hookers and blow. Took 44 replies to get to this? You guys are slipping.

**Tuckerman** · 06-21-2006, 12:40 PM

Originally Posted by Plakespear

Hookers and blow. Took 44 replies to get to this? You guys are slipping.

Beat me to it good thing I read it all.

**AKPogue** · 06-21-2006, 12:44 PM

Hey man that blows but as a friend once told me "There aren't just a few fish in the pond, THERE IS A WHOLE SHITLOAD!!"

**tarkman1** · 06-21-2006, 01:01 PM

From someone who is habitually unattached, I have I have to wonder about the rush for finding a new lady. I'm not saying be passive, but jumping from one relationship to another to 'fill a void' is something to avoid.

**Kellie** · 06-21-2006, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Trackhead

Don't know what to add for the relationship stuff..............but HOLY SHIT!

Nice work on your time and placing in the steeple chase, freak on a leash!

Wanna run the Oquhirr traverse this year? I'm a slow runner, but it would still be fun.

Did anyone else laugh out loud at this? Classic response

But, back to the question at hand . . . I agree with everyone that a month isn't much, and that excercise is your best friend. At least getting out reminds you of all the wonder/beauty of life. And I think climbing hills or going hard is great to give physical pain to your mental/emotional anguish, or at least makes you too tired to care as much. I think I'd caution moving too fast with anyone though - I'd hesitate to start actually dating for at least a few months. If you do find a kickass girl, build the friendship, enjoy her company, but give your heart time to be free before trying to give it away again.

Any chance SA can happen this summer? Travel and snow fix everything, right?!?

**Dromond** · 06-21-2006, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by yogachik

Give yourself time to heal - a month is nothing (as everyone has already said). Especially if it ended abruptly.

It's true. Time does really heal all wounds. Keep on keepin' on and it will get better. With a positive outlook, you can't fail. And don't get too hung up on meeting someone new. I think it's bad form to try to solve your own problems with somebody else. Just focus on being yourself and feeling good about it. Everything else will fall into place

**zion zig zag** · 06-21-2006, 01:34 PM

Sorry to hear that, Stoy. The good news is that there are plenty of girls around here who are fun to hook up with. The bad news is most of them become completely uninteresting a few moments after said hook-up.

I realized the other day that because of my career I may never be able to have a dog unless I get into some kind of committed, long term relationship where my gf could take care of it. I'm going to miss having a dog.