WWMD: NSR: practical joke on a roommate.

[gh444]

i need something in retaliation for a prank he pulled a year ago. arrests/loss of job/physical pain/loss of girlfriend/deportation are all acceptable and encouraged. I however cant be caught doing anything outside of the law. limited funds. suggestions?

-aaron

[yentna]

Well, what did he do to you? And why a year later?

[Hollywood]

pee in a humidifier then turn it on in his room and close the door...

One of my roommates did that in college to our other prankster roommate in retaliation for dumping a 5 gal bucket of cold water on him and his girlfriend (both naked at the time) at 5 in the morning...

Oh yeah he toweled the door, then cranked the heat and crawled out through a window...

I baked some cookies with ex'lax chocolate in them for this asshole in high school that always took things out of my backpack in class. I had 3rd period art class with him where the stealing of my stuff took place, then a 7th period bio class. needless to say he was the last to leave the classroom at the end of the day and it smelled aweful... He also rowed crew and had to be taken off the crew boat in the middle of practice because he shit himself. This is the same kid that pissed in a snapple bottle and gave it to a foreign exchange student to drink. He got what he deserved.

[yentna]

Saran-wrap his truck to the nearest sign/fence/light post/etc.

If it were winter, you could pile snow against his door to the point he'd have to exit via a window....hee hee, open the door to face a wall of snow, hee hee.

Methylene blue solution to coffee, brownies, something dark (or they'll see the blue crystals). Makes them pee blue. Supposedly only works on men though. Shrug.

Thai fish oil in the door panels of his car.

[Viva]

Lock him in a room and pipe in Wayne Newton's greatest hits.

[soul_skier]

some people say saran wrap his car, i say wait till he is passed out or asleep in his car, take his cell phone away from him, but leave him his keys, and then saran wrap him inside his car, i've found that about 15-20 wraps per set of doors is just about impossible to break out of.

other great idea if you ever get some money, pay an actor to fake kidnap him and hold him hostage for a few days...

and if you have a doctor friend or somthing, get the cast material that you soak in water, wrap, then it hardens to form the cast, and use that to tie his hands together, then tie his feet to his hands, funny part is you need a rotary saw to get it off.

[powstash]

speaking of roommates, anyone got the old roommate thread? that thing is a classic. makes me laugh just thinking about that thread.

[gh444]

come on guys i need something better and more cruel......he needs to learn a lesson....its a year later because he'll never expect it......is there anyway i can make him think he has an std or maybe that he got someone pregnant?.....how could i make him think that he is dying, and keep it going for weeks?.....i have his name, address, social security number, birthdate and mom's madien name, i have the only mail key, and he fully trusts me which i'm willing to completely betray......

-aaron

-aaron

[soul_skier]

get all of his friends together, make them all pretend he doesn't exist, that way he thinks he's dead and has come back as a ghost, really hard to do correctly, but when done well works like a charm

[DownhillRider]

come on guys i need something better and more cruel......he needs to learn a lesson....its a year later because he'll never expect it......is there anyway i can make him think he has an std or maybe that he got someone pregnant?.....how could i make him think that he is dying, and keep it going for weeks?.....i have his name, address, social security number, birthdate and mom's madien name, i have the only mail key, and he fully trusts me which i'm willing to completely betray......

-aaron

-aaron

Well, tell us what he did to you

I'll try asking my boss....the fucker pulls pranks on us all the time, so he must have a good idea. Actually, I think if one of you guys has a really good idea im gonna use it on him.

[gh444]

as a result of what he did, before i found out it was a prank, i saw counseling.......enough said?

-aaron

[Squatch]

you can cut up his parents and feed it to him via a big bowl of delicious chili.

As for Saran wrap...any intelligent person will use their keys to lower the window and start hacking away at the saran wrap.



Get him real drunk...blackout drunk. Hire a girl to fake being dead. Soak the bed where's she's sleeping with red corn syrup, then wake him up with the fake dead hooker. He's gonna freak out real bad. Convince him Mexico is the only option. Make sure he doesn't have any I.D., and drive him to mexico and make him cross the border. It's gonna be a real bitch to get back in America.

[Seldom Seen]

.......enough said?

-aaron

Nope... we're gonna need more

[MacDaddy]

YOU ARE A FUKING PUSSY!


take a shit on him/or his shoes, while, either, he's asleep; knocked out; passed out;or lovingly staring at you, you fuking homo! why are you asking such fukingt stupif questions anyways!

taste your thumb right now asshole bung stoppper! shiat!

[mrw]

Well, in retaliation for a joke done to me, I created a DMV letter to a friend of mine who had a few unpaid violations on his record. The essence of the letter was that the "DMV" had scheduled a hearing at the local office for a "review" of his driving record and that failure to appear would result in a bench warrant being issued for his arrest. On the appointed day, he did in fact appear, take a number and await his fate. When his number was called, no one in the office knew why he was there but a quick check of his driving record made them glad he showed up. He had to pay his outstanding violations on the spot or they were going to seize his license and suspend his privileges for a year.

On another occasion, I had a friend who used "the pump" hair spray to hold his thinning hair in place. I placed a squashed garlic clove in the bottle. This was funny as hell. He reeked every time he used it and couldn't figure out where the odor was coming from.

Yet another...i was hanging out at a friend's house before heading out to a party. he was taking a dump when the bathroom door was opened and several Polaroids were taken of him sitting on the can, these were then circulated through out the party prior to his arrival. He had no luck with women that night.

[gh444]

'macdaddy' how bout some creativity you p.i.m.p. ?

i like the dmv thing......i will be doing that but from Denver....i cant wait till he gets on a plane, thats going to be funny......

-aaron

[ptavv]

If you have any way of getting ahold of Planned Parenthood stationary you can do what I did to one of my friends (my girlfriend at the time volunteered there).

Write a very official letter detailing Planned Parenthood's (completely made up) program of allowing them to anonymously notify your past sexual partners for you if you test positive for particular STDs (the key is to not say which one this letter is for, but merely list, put it in alphabetical order to make it look more official):

Hepititas B,C,D
AIDS
Gonhorrea
HPV
Scabies
Trichomoniasis
Herpes

Add more to the list as you see fit (particularly if the tests are painful [ie gonhorrea]), but try and avoid things that are easily cured (syphallis).

Tell him that based on medical confidentiality laws the program does not allow them to reveal the identity of the sexual partner, or the particular STD, but he should be tested for all of them immediately, and inform any sexual partners he has.

This leads to some interesting conversations between couples, as well as some painful STD tests, and no end to the consternation while awaiting the results.

Making up some official looking Planned Parenthood stationary shouldn't be hard either. Just be sure to use high quality paper, and give it an official looking header.

[MOHSHSIHd]

My sister and my stepmom got in a fight a few years back....my sister put lindberger cheese on the rad of my stepmoms truck....took forever to get the smell out. So my step mom dismantled part of the back of my sisters truck and placed a whole fish in a secret compartment under the seat. Needless to say it got REALLY bad, summertime in NJ.....her truck was RUINED...no way to sell it....

[mrw]

My sister and my stepmom got in a fight a few years back....my sister put lindberger cheese on the rad of my stepmoms truck....took forever to get the smell out. So my step mom dismantled part of the back of my sisters truck and placed a whole fish in a secret compartment under the seat. Needless to say it got REALLY bad, summertime in NJ.....her truck was RUINED...no way to sell it....

A buddy of mine was working for a real douche. The douche drove a van. My buddy took a shit in a bucket and then put the bucket in the back of the van where it baked all day in the summer sun. The guy about fell over when he opened the door.

[Ubersheist]

So my step mom dismantled part of the back of my sisters truck and placed a whole fish in a secret compartment under the seat. ....

Along the same lines... this one's an old one, but a classic...

When he's out, remove the bottom drawer on his dresser. Toss a dead fish there, and then close it back up. Actually, you can put anything back there that can make a stink. Do something that's along the Atkins Diet regime - high in protein and low in carbs. I don't know the chemistry, but dead fish and meat stink a whole lot more then an old sandwich. The stench won't be immediate, but it'll gradually grow. This also works with a whole lot of dressers.

Do you share kitchen cabinets? If not,the following's a mean little prank. It can also be done on any other cabinets, as you may realize. It helps if you can remove a shelf out of the cabinet, but isn't absolutely necessary.

First, gather up the following items:

1. A peice of cardboard
2. A dozen eggs or so depending on the size of the cabinet
3. An evil intent

Remove his stuff on the lower two shelves. If you can remove a shelf, put something small (like a granola bar or even a knife) at the back of the empty lower shelf. Take out the upper empty shelf slat, and place it on the lower shelf level on top of the small object. This should make a small ramp that dips out of the cabinet on the lower shelf towards you. Place the peice of cardboard vertically up against the outside of the open cabinet. While holding the cardboard in place with one hand, carefully place the eggs on the empty shelf (the one with the ramp if you have removable shelves). Stack 'em up at least two rows high at a minimum, more if you don't have the ability to make a ramp. Carefully close the cabinets. With the cabinets closed, slowly pull the cardboard out while not letting the cabinets open.

Next crack open a beer and wait for him to make dinner. The next time he opens the cabinets, the eggs will all spill out directly onto him.

[PaSucks]

Steal his kidney while he sleeps.



Send around "Meghans Law" flyers with his picture on it to all his neighbors. Send them to his employer as well.

[wanghoeby]

I like the urine in the humidifier one but have a suggestion to it. Instead of urine use bleach or sulfuric acid or something that would literally destroy the room or atleast discolor everything. That would be prime except for the whole destruction of everything for good.

[Ubersheist]

That would be prime except for the whole destruction of everything for good.

...and the destruction of the lining on his lungs.

[runethechamp]

If you get him drunk, rub toothpast in his armpits. It will dry out the skin there and when he gets up in the morning and stretches, rumors say the skin willcrack or rip and it will hurt like hell.

Or you can just shove peanut butter in his ears or something stupid like that.

[PaSucks]

It sounds to me like he wants to really fuck this guy over. Peanut butter and pee aren't going to really do that. We need to get him fired or dumped or arrested or something. I am going to resubmit my "Meghans Law" idea.