TR: Crooked Couloir. 05-25-06. Cletus, iskibc.

[Yossarian]

Redemption Comes in Many Colors

Chapter 1 - The Road Twice Traveled

Redemption comes in many colors.
Red, like the dust in the snow.
Blue, like the incomparable CO sky.
Green, like the forest of the Indian Peaks Wilderness.
Yellow, like my pee, after climbing to 13,000 feet above sea level.
Orange, like the sun as it rose at 5:30am. Good lord that’s early.
And Black, the color I awoke to when the alarm went off even two hours earlier.

I stumbled around in that blackness, utterly failing to preserve the finally peaceful sleep of my girlfriend, who had tossed and turned most of the night since initially passing out next to me a mere six hours prior. What was I doing? Or rather, why was I doing it, again? Some people define insanity as doing the same thing twice yet expecting different results. But here I was. Two days later. Doing it again, and expecting something better. Like, redemption, just for instance. Fortunately, redemption comes in many colors.

After five consecutive days of unseasonably hot weather and a rather well-timed (even I’ll admit; thanks Big Guy, if you exist) morning hail/rain/wind/shitstorm on Tuesday of this week, my last attempt to get up into the Indian Peaks Wilderness ended with nothing more than a bit of “character growth” to show. Yet somehow, today, I ended up repeating the same exercise, hoping that the Red Sea would part this time.

So, back to the stumbling. I stumbled to get my gear together. I stumbled to make some coffee for the road. Eventually, I stumbled out the door to the car. Fortunately, cars don’t stumble. So long as their drivers stay awake. Unfortunately, the only guy driving at this point was Decaffeinated Cletus, not looking terribly good (even I have to admit).

.

Contrast Decaf Cletus with Caffeinated Cletus, who appears to be ready to take on the world.



Or at least, not fall asleep on his way up to Boulder to meet up with the ever famous ican’tfindmysunglasses (ladies, take note. This one was for you.):



As we transferred skis, bags, poles, and bikes into one vehicle, I noticed that iforgotmyglasses had somehow had confused his bike with a midgets'. However, I decided not to mention this at the time, for fear of enraging him further following the sunglasses debacle. The sky was lightening from Dark to Blue and even threatening to hint at Pale, and it was time to move. Go Caffeinated Cletus, Go!

A short but sickening drive up the canyon later, and we were at the Brainard Lake winter closure. One other party of two was gearing up as we pulled in. Determined not to let some random asshats (read: very nice TGR lurkers who later recognized iskibc from his Pyramid antics) drop rocks or worse – brown coils – down on us from upon high, we scrambled to get ourselves together, and hit the road on our (little) bikes.




The sky behind was growing ever more Wan, but the sky ahead was full of promise. Promise, of the White variety.



Two miles, twenty-five minutes, and one or two highly navigable drifts later, and we were at the trailhead.

[Yossarian]

Chapter 2 - Twice As Nice

What a difference a couple cold nights had made. When I had last visited this spot some two days earlier, I had spent the next three hours postholing through wet, warm, rotten snow on my skis, in the hail, and had failed to make it more than a couple miles. This time, although the venture through the forest was still distinctly thrutchworthy – complete with massive drifts, fallen trees, non-existent trails, and an hour long fight to get clear of the snags at every turn – we soon found ourselves emerging into the brilliance of the high alpine tundra. Crossing moraines, occasionally skinning across frozen swamps, and slowly trending our way west, we eventually gained the Blue Lake basin, which sits at around 11,200 feet, and is ringed by a cirque of rugged (and still snow-lined) peaks, headed by the near perfect summit pyramid of Mt. Toll.



To the north and east of Toll, clockwise around the cirque, lies the mighty Mt. Audobon. Audobon’s east slopes provide a pleasant and popular hike in the summer months, but the south side of the peak is also graced by one of the classic descents in the Front Range – The Crooked Couloir. 1,800 vertical feet of sustained, perfectly pitched snow, dropping from 13,000 feet just west of the summit right down to the shores of Blue Lake below, interrupted only briefly by a small dogleg one third of the way down. We looked up to our right and were pleased to see the line was in excellent shape, with a surprising amount of snow still stuck to the south facing slope. Redemption was in sight!



Or so it seemed, anyway. Sure, the sky was blue, the line was in, we had hauled ass to the lake. I’d had my coffee. And it was only 8:15a. But then we started climbing. We stuck to the skins for as long as possible, gaining elevation quickly and getting increasingly fantastic views with each rep of our two stroke engines. Step, step, breathe. Step, step, breathe. Step, step, breathe. Step, step, breathe.





Then the climbing began in earnest. This is right about where Redemption stopped looking quite so colorful. Joseph Aladdin, where were you and your Technicolor Magic Carpet when I needed you?



Now, it should be noted that I am a pretty fit, reasonably strong, generally higher pain tolerant kind of guy. And I’ve spent my life in and out of the mountains. So I’m used to this sort of thing. Plus, these were my home mountains. Should have been my home field advantage, as it were. But iridemidgetbikes is unstoppable. Despite the fact that he was kicking steps, I was entirely unable to make up ground on him once lost to various activities, such as breathing. Step, breathe, breathe. Step, breathe, breathe. Sweet jebus, this thing is steep!



Step, pant, pant, breathe, breathe. Step, pant, pant, breathe, breathe. WTF, over? Something was wrong with my engine. Timing was off or something. Or maybe a belt had snapped. Fortunately, I reached the top just as the rusted floor gave out.



I wallowed over to where irunupsteepmountains was nonchalantly beginning to eat his breakfast while sunning on some rocks, and we took in the views from the top.

South side of Longs Peak:


North side of Toll, Navajo, Pawnee, etc:


Still looking good to the West as well:


After not too long, we repacked for the descent, and headed off to make good on the "Buy Two Get One" special on Aisle 1.

[Yossarian]

Chapter 3 – Shit, We'd Hit It Two Times!

Finally, a part of the trip where I have at least a fighting chance at looking good on film. It certainly wasn’t going to happen pre-coffee (and many would argue that the coffee didn’t help much either), and it was unlikely to occur on the ascent in the presence of ieat14ersforbreakfast, so I pretty much had to go for broke on the way down. Thankfully, ishootgreatphotostoo has a great camera and an even better eye, so my skill actually had very little to do with the following stupendous shots, which still pale in comparison to the ridiculously good skiing. The ONLY thing we could have wanted beyond what we got was MORE:

Cletus, Dropping In From On High:



For Cletus The Bell Tolls:



Cletus Repeatus




iskibc’s Turn (and How!)



iskibc Very Well, Thank You!



iskibc Point One Time...



iskibc Point Two Time!



Cletus, Finally Finding His Moment



Cletus On The Apron…



Making For The Lake



The Colors of Redemption, Indeed. White, Blue, and Stone.



All in all, it was only the smoothest corn run I’ve ever had in all my years in CO, with a great partner, on a perfect day. We hauled out of the basin in record time, sped down the road on our bikes, and were back in town well before 2pm. Redemption comes in many colors; today it was the color of success, whatever that is. Periwinkle, perhaps? You tell me.

“And a good time was had by all.”

[Kellie]

At least we know the story starts out good . . . can't wait for the rest!

[Yossarian]

Chapter 3 is in!

[skier666]

...postholing (sp) so hot right now

[Phatstix]

So far, so good. Well, except for the suspense part. I hate that shiat.

[mtnbikerskierchick]

Heh Some funny pics there! Thanks for making me laugh How was the skiing itself?

[iHaveBC]

I was at 11,900 at the base of Toll at 10:45 today and watched two skiers come down Crooked. Was that you guys or did you hit that line earlier?

My day started at 6:45 at the closure gate. Immediatley broke the chain on my bike so I decided to hike the road. After some thought later in the day this wasn't the right choice. I wished I had strapped my gear to the bike and pushed it to Mitchell Lake TH. The bike could have held the load and the pace going up would be no different than walking. On the return a bike with no chain is still better than no bike at all.

What time do you need to start to hit Toll if it skis good at around 9? I am thinking at 3 am start is required to ski at 9.

How long does it take the average climber to get from 11,900 to the top of Toll? I was thinking another 2 hours. I watched someelse climbing up the steep middle section and progress looked very slow.

[Yossarian]

TR complete!

Yeah, that was us, there was no else up there on Crooked. Sorry to hear about your chain! We spotted you from up top. Check out the linked "attempt" thread in the first Chapter, there's some discussion of timing that might be helpful.

[Pow4Brains]

Kieek Arse!

[iskibc]

Midget bike, eh? Smartass. I warned you on the phone that it was a POS and it was indeed a girls' bike. At least the chain didn't break on it .

Today was spring skiing at it's finest. Perfect weather, perfect climbing conditions, perfect corn, and a fun bushwhack out.

Strolled into work at 1:30 PM with a big 'ol smile across my face.

Damn my ass is huge. I need to go on weight watchers or something.


Thanks again Cletus for a fun day. Just what I needed today.


iHaveBC,

Was that you on the Volkls and fritschi's around treeline? If so, I think we passed you on our way back to the TH. On a day like today (rapid heating, light overnight freeze), you definitely want to get up there a lot earlier. 10:45 AM at the base of Toll is a tad bit late. Once we get some better overnight freezes, you will be able to get away with a later descent. From 11,900' to the summit it should take the average climber about 60-70 minutes.

[Yossarian]

Gah, dreaded double post! How appropriate.

[Yossarian]

Smartass.

Hey, you offered to let me write this one. Five hours later, and see what you get for it?

Seriously, great day.

And I can't stop looking at these two:

[iHaveBC]

But I can't get out of bed that early! I need a new game plan to start at 5:30 and not go messing up my bike. Lots of weight, incline, standing on the pedals and wrong gear = busted chain.

I watched you start the decent from 11,900 and watched you guys finish up after I had decended to the south side of Blue Lake. There was no way I was going to attempt Toll today at 10:45 so I took the really nice run down on the S. Side of Blue Lake.

I watched a skier climbing Toll's midsection just before I decended. Is this dangerous for wet slides as the day goes on. No way you would summit before 12:30.

I wonder if it was you guys passing me at a lower elevation around 11:20 ish. I was about to cross a swampy area with skis on. Working on my billygoating. A party of two passed me and someone mentioned it was the crux of the route?

I counted three other parties in that area today. It almost felt like a ski area.

[Yossarian]

Yeah, that was us. Crux. Heh. Sorry we didn't stop to chat!

Early is indeed key. Really no way around it. I recommend heavy doses of caffeine. And prep a breakfast burrito the night before, so you can stumble to the oven, throw it in while you stumble in the dark, then wrap in foil and enjoy on the drive up.

[Rockband]

Pretty sure that was me you saw in the middle of Toll with the pooch, another group of two had already descended at that point and left a nice little boot pack.. but about halfway up the pitch the warming caused the soft snow to give way and the postholing began.. uggh

While mushy, the descent around 11:30ish was still surprisingly good, i'd say 10 would be the cutoff for decent snow up there.

Think I saw Yossarian and his crew descending crooked as well, accompanied with some hooting and hollering..? Woo
i'll post some lazy pic's after some muuch needed sleep, 2 hours just doesnt cut it before a full day like that, i'm not even sure if my eyes were open on the drive up.

[iHaveBC]

I watched you blast through that area and it looked like you were itching to get down. Ski boots under water, I watched that and thought no way I am putting my feet there!

So do you lock your bikes up because:

1. The crazy crack head Mitchell Lake TH bike thief is still on the loose.
2. Tired skiers without a bike might borrow yours for the ride back.

Rant, I watched the gate be locked and unlocked to let in forest workers/employees. Now if they can lock and unlock this gate on a daily basis why not just leave it open? Really now. It is obvious that the gate is locked so money can be made. Since they don't schedule the fee collectors until a certain early June they leave it locked. It got me riled up after slogging back down the road with my gear.

[Yossarian]

Rockband, yah, I figured IHave was referring to you (solo with pooch), since the timing was about right, and you said you were headed to Toll when we saw you pulling up to the closure as we were leaving. Funny, that means every single skier up there today is either on TGR, or reads TGR. World domination is next!

Hooting and hollering? Us? Naaaahhhhhhh. Couldn't be.

Sleep time for me too.

[Rockband]

I watched a skier climbing Toll's midsection just before I decended. Is this dangerous for wet slides as the day goes on. No way you would summit before 12:30.

Yeah.. I wouldnt have wanted to be up there any later than 12 for fear of triggering wet slides, made sure to stay to the lookers more mellow left regardless, the recent cold nights have helped too. lukily Toll's not terribly steep either.

[iHaveBC]

I heard that hooting. Strange how sound and voices carry in that natural ampitheatre.

[Xover]

very nice boyz; and i do mean boyz

gawd dam clete, i forgot how good with words you are ... loved every word of that read

nicely done guys
seriously, wish you 2 (among others) and CO terrain (this time of year) was about 4 hours closer to UT ... holy shit, can a Maggots brain even fathom that???? ..... gramps, th, apd, iskibc, shera, etc only 4 hours 'part this time of year ... can you say trax everywhere for as far as an eye can see ... me likey thoughts of that

oh well, thats what dreams are made of

[shera]

Finally, a part of the trip where I have at least a fighting chance at looking good on film.

Yo! Cletus in the house!

Very good to see you where you belong. I think a couple more hikes and there's be a lot less breathe and a lot more step.

You make skiing look very sexy. Damn smoove turns.

Skip the morning after, um, I mean before pics next time though.

And I guess I haven't said it in at least a year, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for teaching me about freerides back when. Eternally grateful.

[bad_roo]

One of these days I've gotta teach you how to step and breathe at the same time.

[lemon boy]

If iski were a hooker he'd definitely be a dominatrix.

Nice job getting it done there Cletus and thanks for bringing him back in one (somewhat lighter weight) piece iski