Positive Vibes Please: Worst Day of my Life

[H-man]

This is very dificult for me.

After a year of escalating issues/problems, my wife and I have decided to get divorced. We have been married for over 13 years and have two children, 9 & 7. We have been keeping this information away from the kids until the end of the school year. Last night my 9 year old over heard us discussing the crap that goes along with this and figured it out. He was absolutely devastated, and I have never felt so low and bad about anything in my life. Un-intentionally, I (we) have hurt our child. I am sick to my stomache, head and heart.

I know that even though this is the most difficult thing that I have ever been through in my life and it is far from over, I know I will be OK eventually. I am worried beyond words about my children however.

Please say a prayer for me that I can continue to be an awesome father to my children and more importantly that my children will also be OK.

Thanks,

H-man

For the Maggots who have some similar accquaintances/friends as I do, I would ask that you keep this quite as it is not really public knowledge at this point. I struggled with even posting it, but I needed to say something since it is eating me up inside. I appreciate your understanding.

[Tippster]

Oh, man - I wouldn't wish that moment on my worst enemy. The look your kid gave you must've been the most painful thing ever.

Very sorry to hear yet another marriage falling apart. Good luck, work it out for the best situation for your kids, and don't make the same mistakes again.

[snowsprite]

Sorry to hear H-man, and sending positive vibes to you during this tough time.

Sprite

[shmerham]

Shit man. Major bummer. You're a great guy and because of that, your kids will turn out just fine, whether or not your wife are together.

Let me know if you need someone to drown your sorrows with and I'll be up your way.

Perhaps there should be a manblouse mini in the northeast.

[marshalolson]

++++++ vibes ----> h-man

i truly wish you and your family the best

[snow_slider]

WOW, so sorry to hear that mang. Just remember that the decision to split is so you can create the best possible environment for your kids to be in. If you and your wife were arguing/fighting a lot, that couldn't have been good for the kids. Going you separate ways will improve that situation in the long run and your kids will see each of you happier.

[soul_skier]

so sorry this bad situation came upon you, however, from my expierences, i have found that as long as the parent still loves and cares for the child, as i am sure you do, that the kid will be fine, it may take a while, but in the end it will all work out. Sending thoughts and prayers, ++++++++++vibes++++++++++

-W

[skiaholik]

I'm truly sorry that it didn't work out and that the next phase of it all will be difficult. You and your kids will both be ok as long as you are honest and upfront with them. They probably won't be able to understand what's going on right now but that isn't too important. Just make sure they know that you and their mother love them and that this had nothing to do with them and that you will all still see each other. The only difference will be that it wont be all at the same house. I hope that you and your ex can work out an amicable arrangement without too much stress and stomaches. You got this and you have all of us here for support/a shoulder if you need it.

Good luck.

[bklyn]

++ vibes to you ++
It's best for them if you guys can't get along. Fight to stay involved with your kids as much as possible and you won't ever have to worry about letting your them down.

[Mcwop]

Sorry H. We already discussed my situation, but I don't have kids involved. That surely makes it tougher.

My suggestion is to try and look at the glass half full. If you can carry on a happy appearance, that may help the kids. Don't hesitate to get some therapy for the kids.

I wish you all the best, and hope things find a way of working for everyone. Divorce happens, and there are many kids that turn out just fine.

[72Twenty]

Stay true to your children and true to yourself. Follow the path that you truly believe in deep in your heart. Positive vibes sent your way for sure.

[Tectonically_Neglected]

Shit that must a crappy situation. Sorry to hear it.

Good luck with it. Don't forget that kids are resilient little buggers.

[DaveTV]

Dude, let's hook up when I am in the valley. You are not alone, I know SO many guys going/gone thru this... Keep your head up, it will all work out

[geo039]

H-Man- Much love and positive +v+i+b+e+s+ to you. I actually went through my divorce yesterday to my friend and wife of 10 year. It was the worst day of my life guaranteed. I feel for you. I would say, over time the lows will become less low and you will recover from your personal hell quicker. Don't expect to bounce right back and feel better today. It will take time....things WILL get better. All the best and +v+i+b+e+. -G

[teledave]

That brought tears to my eyes, and rough memories back to mind. My wife and I have been through some rocky times in the past and weathered them but I recall my son asking me one night if we were getting a divorce, it hurt terribly.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your entire family.

[Mofro261]

++++Vibes++++

The fact that your kid found out ~3 weeks early only accelerates the pain process. Be strong and continue to be there for them even through resentment, things won't be "normal" for a while.

[skiing-in-jackson]

Sorry to hear the news. I wish you the best.

[lemon boy]

shitty H-man

+~ Sent.

[MassLiberal]

Good luck. I've been there from the perspective of a child and I know how hard this can all be. Just be strong as you can be. ++

[gincognito]

Faith.
+++++

[DrRy]

That's a really sad situation. I wish you and your family the best of luck with everything.

[Grange]

Kids can be really resilient if they are given the chance. A person I know that went through a divorce with kids involved said "as long as you and your wife keep your kid's welfare as a priority through this difficult time they will turn out alright." Good luck and positive vibes sent.

[stayalert]

Good luck, for what its worth, I'm 41 and my folks were divorced about 38 years ago. I have a good relationship with both of my parents. I can only imagine what you are going through as my wife and I have 2 kids - 7 & 9.

[Karl Stall]

H-man,
That's horrible, man. So sorry that your kids are going to have to weather this along with you and your wife. Stay strong as time will take care of the bad stuff. Definitely look into therapy for your kids, not some bitch with a legal pad or asshat shrink, but an empathetic, cool person who specializes in listening -- those types DO exist.

best to you!

[teleee]

Wow, H-man I am truly sorry. I have been down the same walk you are about to take. I can tell you from experience the very best thing you and your soon to be ex can do for the well being of the kids, is when dealing with each other do it with kindness and respect, espescially when the kids are around. I see way to many couples who get divorced trashing their ex in front of and to the kids, leaving the kids resentful and confused. It sends me ballistic, kids need a mother and a father wether they live together or not.
Just my 2 cents.