I busted my ass!

**iceman** · 01-13-2004, 04:28 PM

Literally.

The Sunday after Christmas I went for a little hike/scramble with the fambly. On a steep gravelly downhill section my kid started to wipe out, but I caught him and then wiped out myself, falling backwards onto a fist-sized rock.

Now before we get into the homosexual references, it came nowhere near the, um, exit door. I just landed exactly on my damn tail bone. And it freaking hurts. Has for over two weeks now.

My wife thinks I should go to the doctor, but what's the point? I don't think there's any such thing as an ass cast. And for those who might recommend the RICE method, I really don't want my ass over my head, nor do I want to compress it, nor ice it. Rest, okay.

So I broke my ass and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Just thought I'd share.

**fez** · 01-13-2004, 04:31 PM

i was mountain biking once with a friend and he was, um, violated? by the saddle of his bike.

count your blessings i suppose

**iceman** · 01-13-2004, 04:35 PM

Originally posted by fez
i was mountain biking once with a friend and he was, um, violated? by the saddle of his bike.

count your blessings i suppose

Ouch. I do feel better now.

**irul&ublo** · 01-13-2004, 04:36 PM

Originally posted by iceman

Now before we get into the homosexual references...

So I broke my ass and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Just thought I'd share.

c'mon now...you expect us all to disregard our phobias and refrain from making juvenile comments bordering on hate speech? What is this, epicski?

**bad_roo** · 01-13-2004, 04:36 PM

Originally posted by iceman
Now before we get into the homosexual references, it came nowhere near the, um, exit door.

So glad you got the terminology right. Rupert Everett tells an amusing story about going to the doctor with a nasty rash. He hadn't gone to his usual doctor because he was quite embarrassed about the location. After a couple of complicated and long-winded attempts at explaining, he blurted out that it was around about "his rear entrance."
The elderly and very well-spoken doctor peered over his glasses at him and said "Most males refer to that as a rear exit, Mr. Everett, but I think I know where you mean"

**Barnballs** · 01-13-2004, 04:37 PM

my buddy was mt.biking and the Titanium seat bolt split causing the seat to separate from the stem, and his ass mate w/the post. He had to ride the remainding 5 miles w/the seat strapped to his back.

His nickname is HOUSE.

**bigAK** · 01-13-2004, 04:39 PM

roo: two drops. funny scheiss mang...

**iceman** · 01-13-2004, 04:40 PM

heh, nice one, roo.

**Pillars** · 01-13-2004, 04:41 PM

Something like this happened to me before. Me and a bunch of friends were sledding on a dirt hill near my old school using those plastic lunch trays as sleds. As I was going down the tray slipped out from under me and I hit a rock with my tailbone.

Man that was a real bitch. I don't know if i broke it or what, but for a few weeks it really hurt. Then, for like a year after I couldn't sit still in a movie theater without it hurting and i'd have to keep moving from cheek to cheek.

**Shredhead** · 01-13-2004, 04:55 PM

I did the plastic sled thing with my kids last year. Kids made a big jump, Dad goes over jump, Dad gets air knocked out, Dad rolls around on ground in pain as kids laugh ass's off. It hurt for about three weeks, if not more. Dad doesn't go down anything on his ass anymore.

**bagtagley** · 01-13-2004, 05:00 PM

Originally posted by Pillars
i'd have to keep moving from cheek to cheek.

You don't say

http://www.dendi.com.au/

**grrrr** · 01-13-2004, 05:03 PM

We used to have late night sledding/drinking parties back in High School days. One night Kenny decides to ride down the sledding hill on a case of beer.

Bottled beer.

Someone had to drive him to the hospital while he crouched on his hands and knees in the back of the pickup.

**iceman** · 01-13-2004, 05:06 PM

Damn, Kenny ain't too smart, is he?

Just thinking about the little metal ridges on a beer bottle top...angled, if you think about it, almost like the barbs on a fish hook...ouch.

**phUnk** · 01-13-2004, 05:18 PM

Your ass is in my prayers.

**Plakespear** · 01-13-2004, 05:19 PM

Originally posted by Barnballs
my buddy was mt.biking and the Titanium seat bolt split causing the seat to separate from the stem,

Why was his seat mounted to the stem? Seems awfully hard to ride that way. I always mount the seat to the seatpost, and mount the handlebars on the stem.

**el_jefe** · 01-13-2004, 05:29 PM

http://images.southparkstudios.com/m...elite_dish.gif

**Viva** · 01-13-2004, 05:34 PM

Originally posted by Plakespear
Why was his seat mounted to the stem? Seems awfully hard to ride that way. I always mount the seat to the seatpost, and mount the handlebars on the stem.

What? You've never ridden on the handlebars before? Prolly don't have any cool streamers either.

**Mott the Hoople** · 01-13-2004, 05:36 PM

"It was a million to one shot, Doc, a million to one!"

**Theodore** · 01-13-2004, 05:44 PM

I busted mine jumping into a pond drunk. It hurt to do anything the next much less drive home 4 hours a day after that. I do the cheek to cheek shimmy in my car on roadtrips and the theater too. Not fun, but it gets better with time.

Ted

**basom** · 01-13-2004, 05:59 PM

my buddy speared his ass with a srub pine. the hole was 4"deep x 2"wide. he had to lay on his stomach for two weeks while his girlfriend/nurse tended to his 'ass vagina', as she put it.

so at least you dont have an ass vagina right ?

**iceman** · 01-13-2004, 06:02 PM

Originally posted by phUnk
Your ass is in my prayers.

I've known that for years.

And base, no, no "ass vagina" here, thankyaverramuch.

**splat** · 01-13-2004, 08:48 PM

Originally posted by iceman
Literally.

The Sunday after Christmas I went for a little hike/scramble with the fambly. On a steep gravelly downhill section my kid started to wipe out, but I caught him and then wiped out myself, falling backwards onto a fist-sized rock.

Now before we get into the homosexual references, it came nowhere near the, um, exit door. I just landed exactly on my damn tail bone. And it freaking hurts. Has for over two weeks now.

My wife thinks I should go to the doctor, but what's the point? I don't think there's any such thing as an ass cast. And for those who might recommend the RICE method, I really don't want my ass over my head, nor do I want to compress it, nor ice it. Rest, okay.

So I broke my ass and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

Just thought I'd share.

There is something, Ice. I did the same thing right before thanksgiving at the roller rink. Got too loaded before skating and ended up going over backwards, landing right on my tailbone on a hard maple floor. Totally dislocated my tailbone all kinds of cattawompus. Kate fixed it. Find an OrthoBionomist in Btown and you'll be good to go after an hour. Or call me and I'll have you call Kate and get a reference.