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Thread: A question for the maggettes NSFW?

  1. #76
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    Nov 2002
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    Powpow New Guinea
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    Whew.

    Can I bum a cigarette?

  2. #77
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    cow hampshire
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    sprite is a man






    bahahahahahahahhahahaa!!!!!!!!!

  3. #78
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    Nov 2003
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    Stuck in perpetual Meh
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    35,244
    Thankfully not.

  4. #79
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    Oct 2003
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    be here now
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    5,425

    from Craigslist - best of.....

    You Rule, Vietnamese Waxer Lady

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Date: 2006-03-15, 3:44PM PST


    My regular waxer was not available and I just could not bear the wild, untamed amazon bush jungle that my, well, bush had become for another day.

    So I came to you on my lunch hour, Anonymous Vietnamese Waxer Lady who works at the cheapie nail place. We were mere strangers before this afternoon, but after knowing you only an hour, I feel like I must point out the reasons why you rule.

    When it was necessary to get on all fours to do the “taint” part of the wax, you applied the wax so delicately to my bunghole, then asked, in what I assumed were two of the only five English words you know, “Too hot?” I responded yes, it was too hot. And without hesitation, you blew on it to cool the hot wax. YOU BLEW ON MY BUNGHOLE, Vietnamese Waxer Lady. Do you know how special that is? Nobody blows on the bung. Nobody.

    Since you were a bit clumsy with the wax, there were many bits leftover that did not get taken up onto the “Strip of Doom” as I like to call it. So without any sort of trepidation whatsoever, you happily took a cotton ball and dug the wax out of my vaginal canal yourself. How did you manage to do that without making me feel the least bit uncomfortable, Vietnamese Waxer Lady? Were you a gynecologist back in Vietnam and they wouldn’t let you practice medicine in the United States when you immigrated here, and so now you wax pubes for a living? I know that kind of thing happens all the time, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all to know this occupation has not been your first foray into coochdom. And I know this is totally inappropriate, but I even started to feel, dare I say, a tiny bit frisky from the action. You just seemed to know my vagina so very well. Almost like you were two old friends, and I was this new acquaintance showing up to lunch with you and my vagina, but then was all like “Oh. I see you two have already met.”

    Since you don’t speak much English, you had to motion to me where to place my legs in the air to best reach the “corner” as you called it. Most people would have been uncomfortable with their legs in the air and then having their butt cheeks spread further apart, mere centimeters from the face of a stranger. But you smiled at me and with a subtle expression, indicated that you, too, felt my pain. You should give lessons to medical students, Vietnamese Waxer Lady, on how to have good bedside manner. Or I guess in your case, ass-side manner.

    I thanked you with a good tip, but I want to thank you here, publicly, for your selfless action, and for doing your part on behalf of all humanity to keep my pubes under control.
    Let me lock in the system at Warp 2
    Push it on into systematic overdrive
    You know what to do

  5. #80
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    63
    One more good reason for the Snowsprite Appreciation Thread.

  6. #81
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    Oct 2003
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  7. #82
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    Thumbs up

    ^^ Hahahahahahah!! ^^

    That's my 'lil gecko! Now somebody replace the "you could save 15%" with "you could shave 15%" and it's perfect.

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  8. #83
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars
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    3,857
    Quote Originally Posted by snowsprite
    But I was nice, and I fed him a nice squishy maggot as a reward.

    Sprite
    A squishy maggot? How do you feed a gecko a squishy maggot? They usually only accept hard ones.
    You are what you eat.
    ---------------------------------------------------
    There's no such thing as bad snow, just shitty skiers.

  9. #84
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Fallbroke, SD-CA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beaver
    ...How do you feed a gecko a squishy maggot? They usually only accept hard ones.
    A most excellent catch, dear sir.

    Props, we can always count on Beaver.

    peace,
    D.
    "There's a truth that sanity denies...." --Sprung Monkey

  10. #85
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    Oct 2003
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    Wow Beav, you have a gecko too? Or at least you know their habits. I'm starting to wonder about you...

    Sprite
    Last edited by snowsprite; 05-09-2006 at 04:18 PM.
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  11. #86
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    Sep 2005
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    Wasatch Back: 7000'
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tap

    And without hesitation, you blew on it to cool the hot wax. YOU BLEW ON MY BUNGHOLE, Vietnamese Waxer Lady. Do you know how special that is? .
    That is pretty special. It kind of makes me wonder.....










    Once again, thank you my maggot friends. My conservative German wifey is really enjoying this thread, ...and this gives me great pleasure on many different levels.
    “How does it feel to be the greatest guitarist in the world? I don’t know, go ask Rory Gallagher”. — Jimi Hendrix

  12. #87
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
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    Seattle
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    1,341
    Hehe, Sprite mentioned this thread last night while visiting Plakes. For some reason, I missed it. This is definitely Hall of Fame material. I gots to get me one of those neatly shaven geckos

    B)

    BTW, neatly trimmed is the only way to go....

  13. #88
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    3,452
    ha. i think i regret my explicit posts in this thread now that i actually know a bunch of you wackos.

  14. #89
    Join Date
    May 2002
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    Slut Lake City
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    7,785
    Quote Originally Posted by snowsprite
    Yeah, she should get totally drunk beforehand.

    "Wax on...wax off!"


    Sprite
    I'm waxing off as I read this thread.

  15. #90
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    Oct 2003
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    lol Tacoma...no regrets, girl! I'm sure your honest opinions were greatly appreciated here.

    Most of the stuff I post is only off the 99-cent menu of my mind. It would likely cause full-out pandemonium if I actually posted a happy meal. Plus my husband would be pissed. So I try to behave...

    Sprite
    "I call it reveling in natures finest element. Water in its pristine form. Straight from the heavens. We bathe in it, rejoicing in the fullest." --BZ

  16. #91
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Ventura Highway in the Sunshine
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    22,445
    This forum is truely remarkable, I wish I had joined much earlier.

    The misses shaves regularly with a razor, I found this site and wondered if it was of any benefit.

    http://www.personalshavers.com/shaverproducts.html?1604

    Any insight here?

    For the record I have shaved down south in the past, but my better half doesn't care one way or the other, and it is a real pain, so I just shave my face thse days.

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