Wyoming State Barbie Dolls

[72Twenty]

(got this emailed to me... so true, so true.)

Wyoming State Barbies are finally available

Jackson Barbie:
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV,
a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters
degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home
mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and
Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell
phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing,
baseball and is often "working late." Available at all Seattle-area
Starbucks retailers.

Teton Village Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an
assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or
Hummer H2 and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also
available is her cookie-cutter development dream house.Available with
or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic,
cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.

Rock Springs Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade,
'78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model
is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash -
preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what
you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn
shops.

Rawlins Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer
Gut Ken out of Auburn Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise
acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a
see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately
and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend
Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.

Cheyenne Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too
small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt and a
Tweedy Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six
pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. she can spit over
a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is
drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken
gave her after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter.
Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.

Gillette Barbie:
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass.
Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out food stamps
form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional.
Available at Value Village.

Laramie Barbie:
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long
straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and
Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll.
If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free
rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.

Lander Barbie:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to
"experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out
and is only available from the manufacturer.

[RootSkier]

I thought the Lander Ken was a NOLS instructor?

[72Twenty]

Cheyenne Barbie can also go as Casper Barbie.

[adipose]

That's some funny and very accurate shit right there. Left out the big horn basin and Mormon chicks tho.

[Storm11]

Hey, is there still a little town called Clearmont, a little ways out of Buffalo? I used to live there when I was like 6, but the population of the town was only like 100 people...the definition of bum fuck nowhere... just wondering if anyone knows if it's still actually a town?

[BigDaddy]

Very f'n funny... How about a Killington Barbie: Comes with portable waterproof mascara kit, Platinum American Express card, matching skies, boots, spandex leggings, and has personal stunt double for actual skiing.

[danimal's dead]

That is some funny $hit, I could substitute a town in or around the FLathead valley for every Wyoming Barbie, in fact i think I will.

[skiing-in-jackson]

I agree on the Jackson Barbie, but you forgot to add that:

Jackson Barbie comes with trust fund that husband Ken is unwisely using to build unprofitable business that makes him look good in front of his fishing buddies.

After a few years Barbie's father bails out business and "employs" drunkard Ken as a "Consultant". Children bratty and spolied- but well dressed at Pearl Street Bagels (at the Wilson shop only- never the in town location (!!!) "that's where the little people go") and Wilson School.

I've seen this senario more than a few times here in Jackson over the last fifteen years.