I'm beginning to sense an ISSUE...

[cj001f]

Dear Diary,
I find my current existance monotonous, boring, and lacking in fulfillment. I keep wondering if I should do something about it, but then I go back to couch and watch American Idol over a Bud and some Cheetos, and the thought disappears. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming in meetings of skiing powder and miss my action items. Then the boss gets mad. I really like the boss, he knows whats best for me, and I really think the company will always be there looking out for me. I keep hoping someone will provide a plan for me to find happiness. Maybe someday.

[Blatant]

Boy - if searching for "Struggling Hardcore" is too much work for you then I'd say your problems lie elsewhere besides "selling out."

Take it easy...it was early whence i composed this.

The bud and cheetos thing i can see and i hate idol. I'm more history/oln channel, red wine and tgr type shit.

I've been engrained as well to have a job and that is one of the small hurdles, i'm pretty much reserved to the fact that I will be leaving this job. I just have two bills to get in order first.

Right now not sure what i'm going to do exactly. Continue to belabor this issue for a bit...i'm analytical to a fault with alot of things and it causes me to balk at times, i didn't used to be. I was also richer than i've ever been while working for peanuts in vail, the beav and whistler. To think it's only been 4 years and i'm going apeshit in my current environment. What i'm going to do........unsure, i'm going to hike/ski tuckerman this saturday, eat dinner on sunday with the old man, go to the travel clinic the following week for a whole host of vaccinations, which i hope my insurance will pay some of, and then set a date for manilla. Until i can set a date i'm really just floating, also get some insurance realted shit out of the way as i may not have it for a bit...........but ultimately what i'll do is probably continue to post and show up for a while and then once i do do something wonder why the fck i waited so long....

[snowsprite]

Wow...have fun at Tuck's this Saturday. Take some pics and report back!

Sprite

[jackstraw]

i'll be at tucks saturday as well. i think its going to rain im heading up w/ 6 people. 4 snowboarders and 2 skiers. ill have a blue patagucci jkt, blk mtn hdware pts, tan helmet. i think ill be on my atomic ex's. if not buzzard titans w/solies.

i have kids, but in some ways feel the same as you. im in a daily grind, day in and day out. its a good job and all the crap that goes w/ it, but its just corporate bs. i feel like im doing a disservice to my kids living where we live and doing what we do. i want them to grow up in a small town where they can ski daily and just have the 'western' vibe as opposed to the eastern uptight wannabes. not that all or everyone is that way back here. its just a different feel in the towns ive resided in out west.

w/ family here i just don't see it changing until they're out of school. the good thing is that they're learning on the ice coast...and they rip!

[Blatant]

i hear ya js...ofcourse without the kids though. I'll look for ya but after discussing it with my friend he thinks his knee is still to sketch for climbing around etc etc, i think he's a biatch but i'd hate to be the catalyst for worse issues. I may hike instead, if he bails altogether, i'll pm ya and tryn meet up.

Not withstanding all the shit we've been spouting and apparently alot of outdoorsy people have similar views i guess my life could be much worse.

[Blatant]

Well this past weekend the only TR I have is getting boozed up and wandering around the North End and Haymarket on saturday and then recooping on sunday with a small family dinner. I Will hike this saturday for sure, yep hike. Somewhere in the whites, maybe anyway....

whilst still fumbling around with all this and doing the normal TGR reading i stumbled onto ice's thread in which Z posted something that seemed to fit in here pretty well. So i've ganked it and am pasting it in here as i thought it made a lot of since....


posted by Z
It's kind of funny how you can go from walking around with nothing but lint in your pocket and being totally stoked, to walking around with a pocket full of keys and being totally bummed.

It starts out simply and seductively. I'll just get this car so I can snowboard(insert skiing)more. Wrong. Anything that let's you snowboard more is a scam. It won't let you snowboard more because you ride every day and a car can't add days to the week.

"I'll just get this little night job so I can buy gas." you hear yourself saying. There's another key. Then your job starts making you miss sleep, so you can't snowboard as hard or as long as you used to do. You need stuff to wear to work. You need a place to change and store your stuff. Now you have an address, that's another key. Soon you have to get a day job because you're not making enough money at night. The keys start adding up.

Now that you have a job, girls know you're not a total loss and you end up with a girlfriend. She wants you hang with her once in awhile instead of going boarding all the time. First, she gives you the key to her heart and then the key to her apartment.. That's two more. You can't give her the key to your heart because snowboarding put a combination lock on it and only your snowboard knows the number.

Now you have a bunch of keys in your pocket. They're high maintenance items. You have to take care of them. They're weighing you down. Snowboarding is slowly slipping away and you don't even notice.

One day, cruising to your full time office job that you had to get a few years back to make payments on all your keys, you drive past a guy on the corner with his thumb out and a snowboard under his arm. While speeding by you start thinking about the guy you just passed. He looked like you used to- snowboard and nothing else. As you pull into the parking lot at work, you can't get the hitch hiker out of your head. Your mind keeps wandering back. Pulling all the keys out of your pocket and jingling them, you think about what you really want from life.

Running back to your car, you reverse out of the parking lot and squeal a Rockford in the middle of the four lane highway. You've got to get away from your keys. You begin throwing them out the window as you blow down the highway. First to go is the key to the door at work. Then you backhand your girlfriend's apartment key out the passenger window. Flick, there goes the key to the storage unit, then the key to her car. Flick, flick, flick. You feel better each time a key flies out the window and goes bouncing along the pavement at 100 MPH. You don't even slow for the toll booth, paying instead with the tossed keys to your office and the executive washroom. You only have two keys left. You unlock your house, run in, grab your snowboard, and dash out of the house. You leave the key to your house sitting in the lock to the front door. Whoever finds the house open can take it, and all your stuff. You don't need it anymore. You jump back to the highway where you saw the hitcher.

He's still there. You slam on the brakes. When he opens the car door, you look into his eyes. It's you. It's the life you left behind when you sold out.

To those that played hookie from the rat race today. I say get some.

[hhski]

Balance it keeps you on your feet on the slopes, on the bike ,and on the the path you choose in life. Take the time during the week to do the things you want. Forget the 80-100 hrs per week at work week after week. Do what it is you want to do when the desire is strong. Do what you need to do to keep things settled at home and at work. I get 30+ days a year on the slopes. I bike year round 4-5 days per week. I work 50-60 hr per week and I need to fly to get to ski. I have 2 teenagers and 2 dogs and 1 very understanding wife. I have been doing this for years. I found balance years ago.

[snowsprite]

It's kind of funny how you can go from walking around with nothing but lint in your pocket and being totally stoked, to walking around with a pocket full of keys and being totally bummed.

I find this statement postively stunning in its truth and simplicity. Wow!

Sprite

[Blatant]

Balance it keeps you on your feet on the slopes, on the bike ,and on the the path you choose in life. Take the time during the week to do the things you want. Forget the 80-100 hrs per week at work week after week. Do what it is you want to do when the desire is strong. Do what you need to do to keep things settled at home and at work. I get 30+ days a year on the slopes. I bike year round 4-5 days per week. I work 50-60 hr per week and I need to fly to get to ski. I have 2 teenagers and 2 dogs and 1 very understanding wife. I have been doing this for years. I found balance years ago.

Ski 30 days a year
Bike 4-5 days a week year round
Work 50-60hrs per week
Need to fly to ski
2 teenagers
2 dogs….

I agree with balance, with everything. Too me that’s not balanced but exhausted...But too each their own. Perhaps it depends on the type of job? Don’t know. Many factors could allow that schedule to exist as it does. Many factors would prevent one from even doing half that type of schedule. Too me that’s the schedule of a single person or a married person who’s wife (and kids, which traditionally try to have their own life) have the exact same desire to share identical sports and spend damn near every waking moment together.(destructive behavior, imo)

Either way, hats off too you (and anyone else) who can main’t this type of schedule. Too me that’s absurd. I enjoy a lot of activities but don’t feel the need to fit in every single one every day or damn near. I’m just trying to quantify this with the info given.

24hrs in a day.
(50 -60working) That’s 12 hrs a day working….and you bike 4 to 5 days a week. I’ll assume during the week b/c if you have to fly to ski that would most likely be a weekend deal(for me anyway) When I ride it’s usually more than 2hrs so we’ll say 3 for argument. That’s 15hrs, per day so far. That leaves 9 hrs left to sleep, play with the dogs, play with the wife and track down said teens, depending on age and say hi. Then you have to get up and get ready to work and presumably commute so that cuts in to those 9 hours…Also the time it takes to do all the house related shit that comes with owning a house, assuming you own....and then doing things the wife wants to do...assuming she gets a say.
Then the weekends for skiing…..whew!!! You da man, and I thought I was a stud.

What about drinking a beer?

[snowsprite]

Sleep...who needs it anyway?

Sprite

[quasimoto]

Blatant you need to jump ship! Enjoy Manilla, Sweden and where ever else you decide to go. When you get back home you can always find a JOB to replace your current JOB. Hell you may be ready to move back to AZ or try the great Northwest this time. If your still around towards the end of Oct. load up your fisher and we'll do the Soul Ride in Tucson, 30,60 or 100 miler your choice. Boston is still on my schedule so keep me informed. Later.

[Blatant]

Blatant you need to jump ship! Enjoy Manilla, Sweden and where ever else you decide to go. When you get back home you can always find a JOB to replace your current JOB. Hell you may be ready to move back to AZ or try the great Northwest this time. If your still around towards the end of Oct. load up your fisher and we'll do the Soul Ride in Tucson, 30,60 or 100 miler your choice. Boston is still on my schedule so keep me informed. Later.

Oh so true.....always welcome where ever it is I be.

[jackstraw]

head up to tucks, its great therapy for the head! snow was still pretty good considering the yr we've had.

[Kellie]

Interesting discussion to be sure . . . I feel like I was "there" in a lot of ways in NorCal working the 9-5, commuting to Tahoe every weekend, and generally lacking community. I certainly wouldn't say I've got it all lined out now, nor do I ever think everything will ever be perfect, but making life changes consistent with who you're pretty sure you are is a powerful thing. I have a good job, good friends, and a few "keys," but I've got to say that (at least for now), I'm pretty happy. I think most of that has to do with people and nature . . . good doses of both put your soul at ease. I use the winter at Mt. Baker as my comparison point for daily elation . . . I can't imagine being happier, but I have had some great adventures, new experiences, and a lot of cool days since then that never would have come had I not branched out. I personally am still unsure of a lot of my decisions, but it's about the ride I suppose.

Anyhow, one of my favorite quotes is: "It takes 3 things to be happy: Someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to" . . . good friends, passions you can pursue, and projects in your back pocket for when conditions are right. Go have the days you daydream about

[Blatant]

Alright Kellie. I've heard that before to some degree. It's not about the destination but who you become on your way too it.

I have a few keys that seem hard(er) to shake, i've already managed to toss a few.

[cj001f]

Keys open closed doors. I like finding out whats behind the doors, sometimes enough to stay there, but mostly for the same reason I like skiing - exploring and doing different things. It's a fact of life - money opens doors. Want to ski in the Garwhal? Takes money to get there.

Unless you were born rich, you have to work to get the key to open those doors. What you use the keys for is up to you. A seasonal existance can be just as confining as a cubicle, and alot harder to leave.

[altagirl]

Keys open closed doors. I like finding out whats behind the doors, sometimes enough to stay there, but mostly for the same reason I like skiing - exploring and doing different things. It's a fact of life - money opens doors. Want to ski in the Garwhal? Takes money to get there.

Unless you were born rich, you have to work to get the key to open those doors. What you use the keys for is up to you. A seasonal existance can be just as confining as a cubicle, and alot harder to leave.

I agree. There's a balance there.

I'm posting from a cube and I'm married and own a house and a new car. And the only real limiting factor on my ski days is injury. I know people who work AT the resort and ski less than we do because they get bored, are hungover too much, or their resort job dictates their hours.

Whether it means finding a job with some flexibility, a willingness to get up early and tour before work, using sick days wisely, etc., paying someone to mow the lawn and clean the house so you can go camping/riding every weekend.... the "keys" don't necessarily hold you back if you set it up right.

[Tippster]

Being DINK's doesn't hurt either, eh?

[altagirl]

Being DINK's doesn't hurt either, eh?

That's very much on purpose too. The dog and cat cost enough and take enough time as it is...


Actually - I can think of a few people who manage to stay pretty active with kids - I've just never given it any thought since I've never had any desire to have children. In fact, my mom said I first started declaring that I was never going to have kids when I was about 5. She figured it was a phase I'd grow out of...

[team ftb]

Been there done that. Worked managing pension funds for 18 years. Before that was a ski bum, climbing, etc. Worked hard for 18 years and earned a great living. I managed to fill my weekends with all kinds of activities. However there was something missing, as the work environment I was in was not something I enjoyed, and even got an ulcer at age 24.

I took a chance and quasi retired two years ago. My lifestyle now is meager compared to how I was living before with the Porsche turbos etc. Now its just me and my ole' POS Jetta, a season pass, and lots of days. In summer I travel around on a motorbike. I'm living a delicious life now that I love. Now will this be what I want in 2 more years. Possibly not. However in my book, stupidity is defined as: inaction, when faced with difficulties. Do something to alter what is going on with your life now. It may be mental and not work related at all. Change it (mind/and or lifestyle) or your unhappiness will continue.

Like others have said you need some form of income to keep you going. Whether it is $1200 per month or $120,000 per month, you cannot live on romantic notions. Be pragmatic and live a life you love.

I'll shut up now. Enjoy.

[Blatant]

cj alt team, yeah i agree alot with all of you and as i reread this post and the other pointed out. I think i just require different or other keys, the ones i have i'm not happy with. Romantic, probably.....know for sure, nope. Want to be old and broke, nope. I too post alot from a cubicle (not sure how long though at the rate i've been posting/loafing alot lately, to the point that i really feel like office space, pushing alot more than i did, however i certainly do not want to burn a bridge. I've figured out how to do 8hrs of work in 3 and then if need be i can skip a day of work(physically there) and fck off and catch up with ease with no issues....this can't be healthy....) I have a good job and a decent balance and a new car and yada yada yada. Perhaps i'm hanging on to a past that i truly loved and really enjoyed and prematurely left. I'm not sure what i'll find or learn, i've always just been a restless soul, lots of wanderlust and am remarkably happy when i can not predict outcomes, i excel and thrive on change. I make new friends easily and have kept many friends along during my restless years after school. Then I decided to "settle down" hang my drawers if you will and have felt empty in some capacity since.....fck.
I should set a point when i'm going to bail... when i get a certian amount in one of my accounts that can allow me a year to live as i currently do and pay all the shit i currently pay. Of course i'll down size alot but i'm on the cusp of something and it's not as easy to up and try something new due to the keys i currently have. I need approx 4mts of work to be where i need to be to be able to roll and not freak....of course i would almost instantly look for another job. I feel like i have clarity one day and fog another, am i delusional at best? I am romantic. I was going to reread "on the road" but figured that may not be the catalyst i need. Why the fck is there not a manual?? Alot of people would kill for my position in life with income and flex yet here i am typing this.....

[Schmear]

the "keys" don't necessarily hold you back if you set it up right.

I'll chime in. We own a house, two cars, and have two young kids (no pets though), and we still ski a lot and generally do the things we want to, even as a couple. It's not really because we have enough money, it's because even with our belongings we choose to keep things simple.

My wife works a little too much, but we're in the process of setting things up so she won't have to for much longer.

I guess my point is that in the grand scheme of the cosmos, it is possible to "grow up" and still be happy and spontaneous like you were in your youth if, like altagirl said, you make good decisions and set things up right.

Life is so much about what you do, not what you have.