I'm beginning to sense an ISSUE...

[Blatant]

I'm sort of confused. I have pretty good job, pays well, gives me extra to spend, good car, solid education, a fair amount of experience (in what i'm not sure but 29yrs has to get you something right) great family, bunch of close friends....yet even with this job, i feel unfulfilled(since the job seems to be main right now) I mean, I feel like somewhere along the line i've sold out to the corporation, stuck in a cube or a meeting or concall all day. I've been doing this for only 6 years, prior to that i was a ski bum, bike bum, wandering soul, meeting and making friends everywhere i went, making 10bucks an hour yet i feel like i was happier. Can it be that nature has such a draw that the things that I've been raised (brainwashed) to buy into are really going to be my downfall?

How is it that i'm on a path many people have travelled before i have yet the can't convey any wisdom. I'm on one side of the bridge and all these other people are on the other side, they've already crossed it yet are unable to give me any help on how to do it. I think all these people i see that could be viewed as "successful" are actually happily unhappy. Stuck in a situation that just ended up being. At one point in time, they were like me, then they ended up with this, or that, a debit an anchor of somesort, weather voluntary or otherwise, they sit there, withering away. Don't get me wrong, I dont' sit around and sulk, i still do all the shit i used to just maybe not as my life but as a part of it.....maybe i'm fighting against growing up...fck, i don't know, thanks for listening to me vent.....i mean shit, I've been seriously thinking about quiting and travelling again, just figuring it out...not kerouac style or chris mccandless scenario but shit....there's got to be more to life.....

[BigDaddy]

Do you have any kids? That's when it all comes together... We are here only to procreate and propogate our species. That means lots of sex and then work to support your offspring. I'm not trying to make light of your dilemma, I've been there and know exactly what you're saying, but after children, it really seems to gel! Nature knows what it's doing.... we're just here for the ride.

[cold_smoke]

It is all in the happy medium. It is hard but you must try to find 'the best of both worlds.' You need to make $ and support the fam etc. but you have to also give your soul what you need to be happy. The key is to live directly where you can do that and hope to find a professional career in that same place. There will likely be a pay cut involved but the need to travel as much subsides, and the quality of life is where it needs to be...
I think about this a lot. I think of friends living in the city and banking. With that extra money they make, also comes a higher cost of living, larger mortgage, higher car payments....And I figure to some extent, the ratio of money earned to money spent winds up about the same. They might have that huge house and swanky car, but I have my awesome wife, a townhome, a beater pickup......and did I mention I get to ski every damn day I want?
It is however important to use that diploma or whatever experience one has and use it. I am just as fulfilled to know that I have a career where I am making things better, and that my selfish obsession is only one part of my total happiness...Just remember, 'to each his own', happily unhappy may be good enough for some...

[schindlerpiste]

Dude, you will never be as happy as when you were skiing 100 days/year and drinking beer every night ....until you have a child. Even then, you won't be as happy (go lucky) on a daily basis. ...just more fulfilled.
A lack of real responsibility is a wonderful feeling. I was a ski bum. I got married, became a lawyer, had two kids, and gave up skiing for 4 years. I was confused, and blinded by capitalistic wisdom. It didn't take me long to realize that I was cheating myself. Now, I'm still a lawyer, but the outdoors (skiing and hiking) are as important to me as ever. I'm thankful that my kids enjoy the outdoors as much as I do.
Too bad, at my age money is essential. I don't live off of a trust fund. Soon, my daughter will need braces, ...and her needs rule. Becaause of this, I do everything in moderation. (I still get in 30 days/year).

Money comes, and money goes. Your talents will survive. I say, if you don't have kids, enjoy yourself. Life is too short. Why stress? You'll have plenty of time for that once you are a father.

[Theodore]

Well, you obviously need to do something cause this isn't the first thread you have made like this...

[LAN]

but after children, it really seems to gel! Nature knows what it's doing....

That's what we're beginning to think ...

The daily grind can only do so much for your soul.

[snowsprite]

If you don't have kids...what's holding you in your current situation? Do what fullfils you, even if you have to scale back on the material crap. Just do it, and don't waste time walking in a circle.

If you've already had kids, dispense with the notion that you have to live the entire rest of your life following some script because you became a parent. You do have obligations as such, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Just get them to their 18th b-day having provided a stable & secure environment (the cubicle slavery may be a required for that--it is for me), put aside some money to help them with college and then, when they graduate HS throw a huge, rockin' combination "Graduation/Parent Liberation day" party.

That is what I intend to do before hubby and I see the kid off to college (or whereever his next stop will be), sell the house (we'll always have a room for him though in our cabin, winnebago, teepee or whatever!) and then the spouse-man and I embark on our life's final chapter together (well, at least I hope still together!)

Sprite

[Mott the Hoople]

You're really a girl, right? All the touchy-feely stuff.

[divegirl]

This is why me and Lego have plans to work really hard for the next 3 years, then get married, then quit our jobs and travel for a year (that's a necessity for me), then come back, work for a year, buy a house, get a couple dogs, and probably work really hard for another couple years, go travel again, then have a kid. This puts me at age 36. Hopefully both he and I will be fulfilled enough to have a kid.

Good luck. The only thing that stops me from saying fuck it and just living a "free" life is retirement. How will I retire if I can't save enough to retire?? That's the hard part for me, considering I don't have a trust, nor several tens of thousands of dollars to start my own development business.....but good luck.

[BeanDip4All]

One thing you could do in the meantime while you are sorting other things out is start to help others, do some volunteering, etc... I was really overwhelmed fresh out of undergrad and working tons of hours at my first "real" job, and once I started working with the Leukemia & Lymphoma society, it really gave me something to focus on other than the 80-hour work week.... It's totally cheesy, but devoting yourself to a cause you believe in not only helps others, but does wonders to put things in perspective...


There are so many ways to get involved in those types of organizations, I'm sure you could find one that would be a great match for your talents/interests... ie- if you're outdoorsy, how about park restoration, trail maintenance... if you like kids, BB/BS, etc...

Good luck with everything

[Peewee]

Material items will never make your life better. Go get a job that you enjoy and that can support you, and don't worry about trying to impress everyone with the car you drive or the house you live in. But to find out how to be truly content, I'd suggest sticking your nose into the Holy Bible.

[Blatant]

Well, you obviously need to do something cause this isn't the first thread you have made like this...

Bingo Theodore!!! You are right.

I sense it truly coming to a head though...

However I need however to talk or vent and only a couple friends "get it" the rest are too wrapped up in material shit and even trying to garner an opinion from them, it equals spinning my wheels. Remarkably, this community as diverse as it is pretty much sings the same tune, sort of like a voluntary borg. I've scaled back on everything except a car pretty much and they are easy to unload. I've been putting away everything. I managed to get the company i work for to transfer me back to a new england branch, so i could crash at a rich relatives place and save on rent and food and put that cash in an account. All i pay for now is gas and visiting friends i haven't seen in a while back here. I need to get a type of logistical plan for travel. not a daily itenerary by any stretch but i need a clue how to access funds and maybe a lonely planet book!!

sprit you're right, no kids so nothing at all to hold me back, really.

tacoluv, that's a very good point, the only volunteering i've ever really done was court ordered community service during school for nonsense shenanigans.

Peewee, the first bible thumper i've seen on the board, i've actually a minor in religious studies, the bible isn't a bad read at all....i didnt' read the whole thing though....you could very well have a point nonetheless

divegirl may have the most valid point though, later in life, it's a double edge sword though...i couldn't say 3yrs, i wouldn't do it, i can say a year at the most, 6mths, 4mths but 3yrs too far for me, but that aside, retirement...fack

"what if ,what if, what if" Not a good way to live a life right? Just do it and figure it out.

Lan, i've read alot of your shit, you and I have a lot to talk about regarding this issue, i'm certain.

The rest of you are all on target in various ways.....I guess the phrase "shit or get off the pot" tolls in here.

[Beaver]

That's what we're beginning to think ...

The daily grind can only do so much for your soul.

The daily grind does nothing for your soul, it does it to it.

[mrw]

If you don't have kids...what's holding you in your current situation? Do what fullfils you, even if you have to scale back on the material crap. Just do it, and don't waste time walking in a circle.

If you've already had kids, dispense with the notion that you have to live the entire rest of your life following some script because you became a parent. You do have obligations as such, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Just get them to their 18th b-day having provided a stable & secure environment (the cubicle slavery may be a required for that--it is for me), put aside some money to help them with college and then, when they graduate HS throw a huge, rockin' combination "Graduation/Parent Liberation day" party.

That is what I intend to do before hubby and I see the kid off to college (or whereever his next stop will be), sell the house (we'll always have a room for him though in our cabin, winnebago, teepee or whatever!) and then the spouse-man and I embark on our life's final chapter together (well, at least I hope still together!)

Sprite

My wife and I are about to take that very step.

Blatant...I could pretty much tell your age by what you wrote. You are going through the "turning 30 angst" that pretty much everyone goes through. Where am I in the scheme of life, whats my plan, how am I doing, is this it?
Well I am way past that drama and looking back, the only advice I can give you is, do what you need to do to get where you want to be. Just bear in mind that when you get there, that too is just a stop along the way. There have been at least 4 different mrw's as I have traveled through life and I have enjoyed each version. So my friend don't sweat the details or think the decisions you may make are irreversible, just continue to refine your "life plan" and remember, in life there are pilots and passengers. Don't ever find your self sitting in the passenger seat of life.
To me, life is an "e-ticket" ride. I have lived it to the fullest and plan to ride it to the end.

[irul&ublo]

Blatant...

Being older than you (almost old enough to be your father, but not as old as Splat), let me give you some advice.

1. Do what makes you happy...but that means you have to search for it. Your uneasiness now is part of that search. Use it as the impetus to stretch.

2. What has made you happy in the past may still do so, but in a different way. Example (an easy one)...hanging w/ your buds, chasing skirt and pounding beers. Instaed of 4 nights a week, maybe its once or twice a month...maybe you'll get a GF or wife...but keep your friends.

3. Read more.

4. Avoid cell phones & crackberries unless necessary.

5. Kids??? Don't have any, so I don't know. People seem to want them.

6. Dogs are a good thing. Big ones especially.

[mrw]

5. Kids??? Don't have any, so I don't know. People seem to want them.

Yeah, me neither. Then I married a girl with two. It worked out alright. Procreation was never high on my agenda. I just like to practice

[Theodore]

This space reserved so that when I get home I can write out a full response...

[FrankZappa]

... We are here only to procreate and propogate our species. .

You've got to be kidding, right?
WTF, did you get brainwashed w/ religion or something? or maybe the government setting your morals for you...
WOW

[BigDaddy]

You've got to be kidding, right?
WTF, did you get brainwashed w/ religion or something? or maybe the government setting your morals for you...
WOW

Bwaaaaaaaaa! No, hopefully not. Puuuuleeeeeeease!...., you totally misunderstood me! What I was trying to say (somewhat humorously, but I guess it missed), is how after experiencing similar feelings as Blatant, I am now very happily married and a dad. It's very natural and fulfilling, something I had no idea it would be. It feels so right and suddenly a lot of things I used to wonder about, make sense. It's hard to explain and I'm sure the issues are much more complex than I make it sound, but I will try...

What I meant by the "we're here to procreate and propagate" is an over simplified distillation of my life/nature theory. I believe that nature is the most amazingly beautiful and ruthless "entity" ever created. (Okay, this may seem obvious, so I apologize...) Nature is the most efficient, incredible recycling program ever. Nothing is wasted, nothing is without purpose and nothing is really random. Everything is about life continuing, developing and surviving. I always look at different things and ask, "Why would nature do this?" By working backwards, I can usually satisfy myself by seeing how it relates to our overall continuation. It's a lot like capitalism... the strong survive and the most efficient usually "win". Hence, having a family seems and feels so right, yet it's making sure our "species" partly carries on.

Maybe I have just a different set of blinders on (I'd like to think not...), but for the record, I am a devote atheist, seriously opposed to Bush and his band of looting henchmen and believe we (humans/nature, etc.) are much more incredible and miraculous than anything, just through our being.

EDIT: Also MRW has some great wisdom to share.

[snowfire]

....there's got to be more to life.....

There is.

Get that in your head. Then do something about it. That is all.

[Buzzworthy]

Blatant,

Go to Ski and Snowboard and read thru my "Struggling hardcore, who am I thread" posted when I was about to turn 30. I just read it all again and there really is some good stuff in there.

We seem to have all been there, some write about it, some don't.

Buzz

[Blatant]

I'll have to read that....post a link, searchings a pain in the ass.

So now i pretty much sit here at work struggling through my hours. I have plenty to do but am pretty much indifferent. I guess the problem with big corp america and cubicle jobs is in reality they don't care. So long as i'm under the radar, for the most part I'm ok. I'm becoming dumber by the day. I've figured out how to do my job in 3hrs or less total, and just piddle by a bit more thans expected and they think i'm golden. So much for my Industrial Psychology and my economics degree. I loaf all day, fumble around tgr and various other sites. I'm webbed the hell out. i've resorted to ebay, looking up interesting shit. it's amazing what they have on there.

My Lackadaisical attitude is simply a product of my own burn out and indifference to my situation. I've been using this time to research south east asia to start. Manilla will be the first stop. I wish this job wasn't so mindless and paid worse. It'd be easier to quit. The idea of just up and jumping away from all this cash is what really keeps me here but then i think of all these other poor bastards....happily unhappy. i've been bank rolling just about everything, however when do I say enough is enough and take the money and run....I could say a week, month or 6mths. I always feel way better once i set a plan in motion. I feel i set it and stalled it. SET: I got the company to allow me to continue to work with them from Boston, swithcing from phoenix. That was primarily to be closer to family. They did not pay for any of the move, no big deal, they were going to but had a bunch of contingencies etc. Figured no way. Plus i gave me a reason to considerably down size...... That should've raised a flag right...or at least an eyebrow...nope.

I'm just rambling on to pass the fawkin day, and it's early...maybe i'll wander down to the cafe and stuff my neck with a sausage and egg biscut, and a blue berry muffin.

i wonder if i should type this kind of shit at work....it's funny actually. i'm not sure if i'd be surprised or relieved if i got brought up or let. Maybe i'll bring in a fresh cod and gut it soon....

[Tippster]

Boy - if searching for "Struggling Hardcore" is too much work for you then I'd say your problems lie elsewhere besides "selling out."

http://tetongravity.com/forums/showt...gling+hardcore

If you thought that was hard wait 'til you actually have to commit to another human being (wife) or be utterly and completely responsible for someone's survival (kid.)

[snowsprite]

Blatant, you sound just like me man. Except you're lucky enough to have an open door...I'm trapped.

Believe me though, the minute I hear that key turn I'm out like a flash. At least I think so... I'll let you know for sure in five or six years if I still have the mental capacity to communicate. I somehow doubt that.

So what you gonna do?

Sprite

[A-wreck]

I'm a pretty coservative guy. I can't stand to not be working.
I don't know what I'd do with myself.
I'd feel like a bum.

So, it was difficult for me to disconnect and go out and find my way.

Now, the state of Michigan has taken away my drivers license making it nearlty impossible for me to live here. So I put my two weeks notice in and I'm leaving. To do something else. Maybe something else is just doing the same thing somewhere else......you know?

I don't know, but I'm getting more and more used to the idea that I'm leaving.........and that I don't know what I'll find.

Happiness is the most important thing.
If you don't have that you've got nothing.
I'm not real happy here so......what the fuck am I doing here?

I'm leaving, and I'm heading towards a lot of you maggots.
See you soon.