Good for a laugh (text is NSFW)

[Art Shirk]

Got this in email today. I don't care if you have already seen it, it's still funny.

A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are all in the heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.
Peter.
St. Peter asks the first girl, "Gloria, have you ever had contact
with a penis?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched one with the tip
of my finger . . ."
St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and
pass through the gates."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Catherine, have you
ever had contact with a penis?"
The girl is a little reluctant, but replies, "Well once I fondled and
stroked one."
St. Peter says, "OK. Dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass
through the gate."
All of the sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.
One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she
reaches the front of the line St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the
rush?"
The girl replies, "Well, if I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Stephanie sticks her ass in it!!!

[DrRy]

That's great.

[stuckathuntermtn]

That's great.

ditto

[FrankZappa]

I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS..........

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blond woman wave at him and say hello. He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you Know me?"

To which she replies, "I think your the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he as ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt???"

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's math teacher."