Help! I'm being poisoned by my poo!

**Spicoli** · 03-14-2006, 06:42 PM

www.dualactioncleanse.com

According to the infommercial, my colon contains about 22 lbs of undigested "gunk" and fecal matter that is caked on and making me feel sick and sluggish.

With this product I can "add length and girth" to my bowel movements!!! WOO-HOO!(I can feel my anus ripping open as I sit here)

Is this shit for real? (something smells funny)

**runethechamp** · 03-14-2006, 07:03 PM

22 pounds is bullshit. Just buy some of the stuff you use to clean your bowels before colonoscopies, it works like a champ. I have a couple of pictures of mine up here somewhere, and the only thing left was a couple of pieces of corn...

**Core Shot** · 03-14-2006, 07:06 PM

http://tetongravity.com/forums/showt...ght=colon+blow

Squatch · 03-14-2006, 07:10 PM

are you seriously asking this question?

i think it also whitens your teeth as you sleep, too.

**RootSkier** · 03-14-2006, 07:37 PM

Thanks for that one, Core Shot.

**PTracy P1** · 03-14-2006, 07:50 PM

“I am no longer a skeptic of your product”

Dr. Richart

“I accidentally ran across your web page a few days ago when I was looking for some information to relieve problems I was experiencing. I had a tremendous amount of bloating and a lot of gas issues. I decided to buy your product even though I was very skeptical about what it would do for me, if anything. In fact, I emailed one of your clients who provided her email address on your web page. She responded with some very positive feedback.

I started the program this past Friday, 12/17. Today, 12/19, I am only 2 days into the program. I just had a big bowel movement and being the scientist I am, I had to look to see what I had voided. WOW was I ever surprised!!! All kinds of unimaginable things were in my stool. Well, I am a biochemist and in my lab I have microscopes and dissecting microscopes so I took the plunge and recovered a lot of the unidentifiable objects. I am making a special trip to the lab today to investigate these items. This product really works. It is the GREATEST!

I am no longer a skeptic of your product. For years, I have been having, on a good week, one bowel movement a week. Yesterday I had 3 movements with some items noticed in my stool. Today, was the biggest movement with a whole host of objects. It is unbelievable that this stuff was living inside me. I don't know if this is possible but my mind feels freed up. My thinking seems to be a lot clearer now, just 2 days into the program. I believe every testimonial I have read on your web page because I now know from first hand experience that your products work and they are GREAT. Did I tell you they were GREAT? There it is again.

I thank you folks who developed these products. I will forever continue to use these products. And when I return from the lab later today I will give you an update on what I found. No doubt it will be gross but I must say it is fun getting rid of these things from my body. I have been to the Doctor a number of times about my chronic constipation but they just keep saying once a week to 10 days is normal for me. I don't believe that especially after seeing the results of using your product for just 2 DAYS. Thanks again.

You will hear from me later after I exam these things under a microscope. Thanks so much. Oh, when I ordered your product I made a mistake and ordered 2 months worth. NOW, I KNOW it WASN'T a MISTAKE. I will use it as directed and then continue to use your fiber. I plan on doing a cleansing once to twice a year. I am also going to tell my son and daughter about your product as well as the microbiologist I work with. My Ph.D. is in Biochemistry so I like to make new discoveries and make new observations.
Thanks again. I really mean this from the bottom of my heart.”
- Richard Triplett, Ph.D., Biochemist, 8:32 am Dec 19, 2004

**PTracy P1** · 03-14-2006, 07:53 PM

What I had to lose was quite a bit of build-up and many nasty parasites. Within the first three days of starting the Colonix program my body eliminated 4 or 5 shrimp-like creatures, which horrified me. I had no clue that I had those things in my body. What had they been doing to me? How in the world did those things get into my body?

WTF?

And all this time I thought it was just the beer? Is this shit true?

Squatch · 03-14-2006, 08:38 PM

Originally Posted by PTracy P1

WTF?

And all this time I thought it was just the beer? Is this shit true?

Clearly the matrix is real.

**snowsprite** · 03-14-2006, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by PTracy P1

“I started the program this past Friday, 12/17. Today, 12/19, I am only 2 days into the program. I just had a big bowel movement and being the scientist I am, I had to look to see what I had voided. WOW was I ever surprised!!! All kinds of unimaginable things were in my stool. Well, I am a biochemist and in my lab I have microscopes and dissecting microscopes so I took the plunge and recovered a lot of the unidentifiable objects. I am making a special trip to the lab today to investigate these items. ”
- Richard Triplett, Ph.D., Biochemist, 8:32 am Dec 19, 2004

BWA!!! Is it just me or is it a pretty heinous deed to investigate under microscope that which comes out of your ass?

Nope, I'm not going there!!

Sprite

**iceman** · 03-14-2006, 10:46 PM

Whoa, reading that just blew my mind.

**RootSkier** · 03-14-2006, 11:12 PM

Good thing I don't like shrimp anyways.

**XtrPickels** · 03-14-2006, 11:38 PM

For years, I have been having, on a good week, one bowel movement a week. Yesterday I had 3 movements with some items noticed in my stool.

I enjoy a good deuce at least once a day... thats normal...right?

**cj001f** · 03-15-2006, 12:07 AM

**Spats** · 03-15-2006, 12:49 AM

NEWS FLASH! There's POOP inside your BUTT!

If you want smoother poops, just get some psyllium husk and mix it in with your morning orange juice. More fiber = smoother poops. But most of the "colon cleanse" stuff is hype and fear.

Notice that a lot of these programs ask you to eat nothing but bentonite clay and take a bunch of laxatives for days...of course your poop will look strange when you do that. Duh! Then the laxatives make your smooth muscles spasm and fold the clay poops into weird shapes. Add a few crumbs of whatever was left over in your intestine from your last few meals, and you've got SCARY ALIEN POOP.

**runethechamp** · 03-15-2006, 01:28 AM

Originally Posted by XtrPickels

I enjoy a good deuce at least once a day... thats normal...right?

AS far as I know, yes. Once a week is not right, at least I feel like crap if I go more than a couple of days without a good shit.

jennifertalia · 03-15-2006, 09:40 AM

Originally Posted by Spats

NEWS FLASH! There's POOP inside your BUTT!

If you want smoother poops, just get some psyllium husk and mix it in with your morning orange juice. More fiber = smoother poops. But most of the "colon cleanse" stuff is hype and fear.

Notice that a lot of these programs ask you to eat nothing but bentonite clay and take a bunch of laxatives for days...of course your poop will look strange when you do that. Duh! Then the laxatives make your smooth muscles spasm and fold the clay poops into weird shapes. Add a few crumbs of whatever was left over in your intestine from your last few meals, and you've got SCARY ALIEN POOP.

Right you are, especially about the psyllium. Chronic use of said substance can cause a strange pigmentation of your bowel lining called melanosis coli. If severe, it can have paradoxical effects on regularity with some paresis (weaknesws) of the bowel.

**Tippster** · 03-15-2006, 09:51 AM

One bowel movement A WEEK? Holy

.... or not. No wonder the dude had critters growing in his colon!

**Spicoli** · 03-15-2006, 11:01 AM

Holy Fucking Shit!
http://www.drnatura.com/colon-cleansing.html NSFWS(not safe for weak stomach's)

**assgasorgrass** · 03-15-2006, 11:17 AM

Probably daphnia.

[Quote]What I had to lose was quite a bit of build-up and many nasty parasites. Within the first three days of starting the Colonix program my body eliminated 4 or 5 shrimp-like creatures, which horrified me. I had no clue that I had those things in my body. What had they been doing to me? How in the world did those things get into my body?[Quote]

**Spicoli** · 03-15-2006, 11:30 AM

I've always had the strange feeling that Sea Monkeys lived in my colon. I've placed my order and will post pics of my results ASAP. (I wonder if that marble I swallowed when I was 5 will appear)...

**LAN** · 03-15-2006, 12:08 PM

If you really want to shit regularly, just add some more fiber to your diet. You don't even have to mess around with that nasty psyllium husk stuff. Taking the colonoscopy prep on a recreational basis can be dangerous.

Squatch · 03-15-2006, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by Spicoli

Holy Fucking Shit!
http://www.drnatura.com/colon-cleansing.html NSFWS(not safe for weak stomach's)

I've seen those pictures before. What it looks like to me is that whatever he is taking is causing him to tear apart his innards and later defecate it out. "Diet" has nothing to do with this; unless perhaps you get drunk and decide that the garbage can is a good source of food.

**PTracy P1** · 03-15-2006, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by LAN

If you really want to shit regularly, just add some more fiber to your diet. You don't even have to mess around with that nasty psyllium husk stuff. Taking the colonoscopy prep on a recreational basis can be dangerous.

I just heard that taking Magnesium Citrate (pre-colonoscopy prep stuff) is OK once in a while, and is, in fact, a good thing..

What could be the downside? Anyone?