NSR - India, parte deux - NSR

[iceman]

So, as some of you know, I had some misgivings about going to India. I was, to put it baldly, scared.

Now, I've had some trouble in my life, had a rented house burn down with every single thing I owned in it destroyed and no insurance. Got diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease, that was a rough patch). Worked as a bouncer for a few years, got my ass kicked a few times. Kicked ass a few times too, though. I've been broke to the point of no rent and no food a few times.

But.

But I am a child of the wild White American suburbs. I grew up in Wellesley ("Swellsley" for you non-Massholes), went to private school and a well-known University. Where I did not do very well, but that's beside the point.

And I live in America, and my hobby is skiing, for God's sake.

For better or worse, that's where I come from.

So I knew India would be a shocker.

First ten seconds off the plane in Bombay (now known as Mumbai) sealed the deal: I was already freaked, and as we walked down the jetway from the sterile, air-conditioned British Airways 747, it hit you like a wall. The air smelled like sweat, jet fuel, shit and spice. And something else. Something exotic that I still haven't figured out.

Just like I figured.

And as we entered the airport, we were told that there were no immigation forms available, and that we would just have to wait.

It took us about two hours to get out of the airport, only to face the mass of taxi-drivers and would-be tourist guides and scammers, all pushed up against the fence, a gauntlet we would have to pass.

The crowd jostling us, people grabbing for our luggage, the heat and odor almost overwhelming despite the fact that it was 2:00 in the morning, it was a bit overwhelming for a moment there.

And then, almost like Clint Eastwood but not quite, a dude in a white suit with a sailor's hat (one of those Captain's hats), sidles up to me and whispers "Hyatt, Sir? I am the driver sent for you."

Manana

[char]

Nice, keep it coming.

[Rusty Nails]

Yep. That kinda shit happens to phUnk all the time.

[Blurred Elevens]

Originally posted by iceman
I was, to put it baldly, scared.

Not only is he the owner, he's also a client!

[Blurred Elevens]

I don't know what's funnier. You getting your ass kicked for going to a private school, or being scared shitless because the place stunk, or thinking you were getting scammed to shoot a McDonalds commercial...no wonder it's taken you so long to post about it. I can see you after every post being laid out on your back with an icepack on your head and sniffing smelling salts after each grueling disertation of your experience there. Waiting for more! (until then, watching the paint peel off my walls will have to do)

[iceman]

The best part is, you can't make me stop. I hope it bothers you, that would work for me.

[Snow Dog]

Originally posted by iceman
The best part is, you can't make me stop. I hope it bothers you, that would work for me.

I think Blurred's never been out of his hood. It's a scary wonderful world out there.

[Sublime]

Ice just tell me you didn't go anywhere near the rivers.

[Blurred Elevens]

I guess I could tell you how Mexican guerillas jumped around in my face in southern Mexico waving machine guns at me and threatened to kill me, but I'd rather hear about Icemans trip to the Hyatt....

[Snow Dog]

Originally posted by Blurred Elevens
I guess I could tell you how Mexican guerillas jumped around in my face in southern Mexico waving machine guns at me and threatened to kill me, but I'd rather hear about Icemans trip to the Hyatt....

Pictures?

[Blurred Elevens]

Originally posted by Snow Dog
Pictures?

Quit trying to get this story off-topic!

If you could see me now, I've got a big bowl of popcorn on my left, some snacks on my right. My eazyboy is in recline mode, and I got the auto-refresh going on my browser. Any moment we're going to hear Icemans version of his trip to the Hyatt.....stay tuned...and awake.

[Sublime]

TR?

[iceman]

Mexican Guerilla: This one?
Mexican Guerilla Commander: Let him live. Bullets are expensive.

[Snow Dog]

Originally posted by Blurred Elevens
My eazyboy is in recline mode, and I got the auto-refresh going on my browser.

I've been thinking of getting an lazyboy for my computer.

[shamrockpow]

The more i hear from Blurred, the more I think he actually looks like this:
http://www.businessworldindia.com/ar...%20hawking.jpg

[Blurred Elevens]

Originally posted by iceman
Mexican Guerilla: This one?
Mexican Guerilla Commander: Let him live. Bullets are expensive.

I'm just phucking with you Ice...3RD world countries are definitely sketch. Everyone is trying to scam you, you don't know the laws etc, and you're made out as an ignoramus. It can be pretty scary for sure. Belize City in Belize is one of the skankiest and scariest places I've been....Continue with your story, I'd like to hear more.

[Snow Dog]

If he's Stephen Hawkings then he's the smartest person here.

[iceman]

Man, I don't care what you think either way, but I will post more tomorrow. Hang in there little camper.

[Billow]

Originally posted by iceman
And something else. Something exotic that I still haven't figured out.

Honestly that would be sweaty marinating vagina, if your wife had that same sensation it would be due to festering scrotum.

[fridge]

My friend just spent this summer travelling all across India. He even brought me back a sweet India shirt (which I get some strange looks for when wearing). One major part of his trip that didn't appeal to me was how there is no toilet paper there, and ass wiping is done with a bottle of water and your hand. But maybe I've just become too civilized.

[Blurred Elevens]

Is being more civilized smearing your shit around your crapper with a piece of paper?

That reminds me, don't get caught with your left hand in the ricebowl, they tend to frown on that there....

[Woodsy]

The air smelled like sweat, jet fuel, shit and spice.

just like a morning @ Alta when phunk is done with his buisness

& this thread makes me thank owens again for the ignore function

[irul&ublo]

Originally posted by shamrockpow
The more i hear from Blurred, the more I think he actually looks like this:
http://www.businessworldindia.com/ar...%20hawking.jpg

I don't think there is any reason for you to insult Stephen Hawking

[The AD]

Originally posted by iceman
The air smelled like sweat, jet fuel, shit and spice. And something else. Something exotic that I still haven't figured out.

Probably Tikka Masala.

[iceman]

Yeah, maybe, I don't know. Some people have suggested that it was sandalwood burning, but I can't swear by that either.