The Guy's Rule's-NSR

[Chica]

At last a guy has taken the time to write down the rules from the male perspective. Please note...they are all numbered "1" on purpose.

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is not a sport and we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not woek!
Just say it!

1. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem, see a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's secrect girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think your fat you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or, tell us how you want it done, not both.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegtable. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know that you are lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...really.

1. Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape, round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

but, did you know that men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Daywalker]

I'm a big fan of #1

I actually had to think about the 16 colors one. Are light blue and dark blue considered different colors?

[FrankZappa]

And, don't forget...

Attachment 10124

[Bodhi]

Men? No figuring us out is necessary...we are all sex-crazed assholes.

If any guy tries to tell you diffferently, he is just trying to get in your pants.

peace,
D.

[Queef]

Oy.

I really dislike the whole dichotomous "Men are like this...women are like that" crap.

[Telekóptero]

Oy.

I really dislike the whole dichotomous "Men are like this...women are like that" crap.

uncanny pairing of name and comment.


my favorite, the colors one. mauve. sounds like an french dance move.
and what the hell is "taupe"?!!

oh.


my bad.
also known as "front range"?
Yes. Yes, i see . . .

[Godwin-Austin]

this is all incredibly accurate.