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Thread: WWMD? Roommate snoring on the couch

  1. #1
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    WWMD? Roommate snoring on the couch

    My roommate is asleep on the couch and he's snoring so loud I can't hear the fucking TV.

    It's his house though, so I suppose he kinda has the right to do that if he wants.

    Should I pour water on his face or shoot a gun off in the backyard?

    Please speak up when you reply, or there's a good chance I won't be able to hear you.

  2. #2
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    There's always the classic fingers in a cup of warm water move.

  3. #3
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    WWCD is online now Non Threating Male Friend
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    As a couch snorer, I've never been offended with the pillow/shoe/cell phone thrown from across the room.

    Teaching the dog to lick him also works.

  4. #4
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    Always use a gun!
    The pacifists always lose, because the anti-pacifists kill them.

  5. #5
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    MAGIC MARKER.
    Cig butts up the nose.
    Pose for the camera.
    Merde De Glace On the Freak When Ski
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  6. #6
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    Tough one, suggest you have a talk with roomate about it later when they are not all groggy/grumpy. Just suggest an agreement that if either of you starts snoring in public areas of the house, then the other is allowed to wake the offender up and they either stay up or move along to their bed for sleeping without getting grumpy. This agreement might be easier to reach if you set yourself up as the offending party initially. They'll be eager to agree because it'll be to their immediate benefit.
    ‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›

  7. #7
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    Stab him in the larynx with a ball point pen. That'll teach him.
    I like living where the Ogdens are high enough so that I'm not everyone's worst problem.- YetiMan

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by warthog
    Stab him in the larynx with a ball point pen. That'll teach him.
    That's a classic... but lately I've found pouring gasoline on him and setting him on fire to be a riot.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by slim
    That's a classic... but lately I've found pouring gasoline on him and setting him on fire to be a riot.
    How many times can you do that, though. I guess if you plan it out, it could work. Start with feet, next time it's the hands, after that a douse to the chestal region. If the fucker doesn't get it by then, well ,the feet should be about healed up. Repeat.
    I like living where the Ogdens are high enough so that I'm not everyone's worst problem.- YetiMan

  10. #10
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    Is he a heavy sleeper? Shave off one eyebrow.

    Wait to see what he does with the remaining eyebrow. Shave it off too? Draw one (or two) back in place? Hmm...
    Quote Originally Posted by powder11 View Post
    if you have to resort to taking advice from the nitwits on this forum, then you're doomed.

  11. #11
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    alternately... quietly walk over and plug his nose... the results are highly commical. ( he will gasp like a fish out of water for a fee seconds until he opens his airway at which point he will take a BIG breathe!)

    Stay out of failing fist range.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by warthog
    How many times can you do that, though. I guess if you plan it out, it could work. Start with feet, next time it's the hands, after that a douse to the chestal region. If the fucker doesn't get it by then, well ,the feet should be about healed up. Repeat.
    Oh no, I go for a full douse. Light him up, watch him run-around, and hit him with the fire extinguisher. Nothing learns 'em better than 3rd degree burns over 90% of the body.

  13. #13
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    Mouth Open or closed? If open slowly pour some Honey in it if you have it... that way you can get back to the couch before it drips down and chokes his ass.

  14. #14
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    I am partial to the catsup or mustard ear douche for passed out/snoring friends
    fighting gravity on a daily basis

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    ever see that funniest home video where the parents rip a chainsaw to life in their kids bedroom after they just watched " Texas chainsaw massacre"?

    A chain saw would scare the shit outta me-

    Just make sure he is outside of swatting distance-

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tippster
    Mouth Open or closed? If open slowly pour some Honey in it if you have it... that way you can get back to the couch before it drips down and chokes his ass.
    Or until he aspirates the honey ... lovely.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by slim
    and hit him with the fire extinguisher.
    Mean bastard- you could at least spray him with it first.
    I like living where the Ogdens are high enough so that I'm not everyone's worst problem.- YetiMan

  18. #18
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    It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
    "Have fun, get a flyrod, and give the worm dunkers the finger when you start double hauling." ~Lumpy

  19. #19
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    shampoo in mouth = pleasant bubble blowing

  20. #20
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    Give him a Third-Party Dirty Sanchez

  21. #21
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    I'm gonna go waaaaay out on a limb and suggest a tap on the shoulder and a "Dude, you should really go take a nap."
    not counting days 2016-17

  22. #22
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    Film him and play it back in front of his girlfriend.
    Monty Python's version of the cougar phenomenon:
    "This is a frightened city. Over these houses, over these streets hangs a pall of fear. Fear of a new kind of violence which is terrorizing the city. Yes, gangs of old ladies attacking defenseless, fit young men".

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Roo
    Film him and play it back in front of his girlfriend.
    Or better yet; have sex with him, film it, and then play it back in front of his girlfriend.

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