The Most Annoying Things Gapers Do

[crashnburn'd]

The only ones I hate are the ones who try to make fun/laugh at you for crashing or for something, but there's not a chance in hell that they could even attempt what you're doing. For example:

Last weekend, this ass made fun of me when I fell sliding a rainbow rail (yes, I was sliding rails, but I'm from the midwest, there's either that or man made bumps) and then about 2 minutes later skied into me while I was standing in the lift line.

Other than that, most just make me laugh.

[Telekóptero]

nice, Rev. that said, everyone has their day, that moment when you're just sick of the idjits. I'm a pretty reasonable guy generally but this nutter had it coming.

so there's this bloke with the obligatory north farce mtn light, no hat, short Rossi Cuts, etc, and he doesn't look in control, coming down on us. he's a good 200 feet up the hill, and since we're 45 to the fall line and i can see one of our pack or myself is gonna meet up with his current vector o' destruction so i just keep on it, waiting for the inevitable.

uncanny. i'm downhill from him, plainsight in a red jacket, but sign of him noticing the groupof myself and my three friends in front of me, bee line fashion.

now, i'm the "minnesota nice" guy and I like to let our bread and butter have the right of way most of the time. they pay our bills. but this time something just clicked and i knew he was gonna cut my path without a clue. so i didn't do the speed check, looked at him square on as he's coming down on my right just waiting for him to see me. last sec, he hits some irregularity in the grooming, starts literally flailing like John Candy on skis, and i just figured i'd do him the service of settin' him down before he tips over backwards and blows his ACL. fool never had a clue, i lowered a shoulder for potential impact, ended up skiing right across his Rossi Cuts and all i heard behind me was this WOOAHHHHAHHH! and something like rocks in a tumbler as all his gear exploded off him and he splayed out.

that said, i still resolve not to fuck with most folks as their just here to enjoy the snow like me. I can dig that. he just had it coming.

[ak_powder_monkey]

I hate gaper snowboarders who heelslide in the steeps, thus taking out powder in a 5 foot section instead of a 2 foot line

[DINMS]

Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
I hate gaper snowboarders who heelslide in the steeps, thus taking out powder in a 5 foot section instead of a 2 foot line

Your skis are 2 feet wide? And they take out all the snow? Mine seem to go over it. But that's just me.

[two_planks]

Originally posted by iceman
I don't really like talking about gapers as a category of people, but one thing that scares the bejeezus out of me is when someone you are overtaking does the "random turn of death".

Like, turn, long traverse, turn, long traverse, turn, RANDOM QUICK TURN right as you pass. You think you've got it timed and all of a sudden they're right in front of you. I don't like that much.

That scares the sjit out of me too. Put on the brakes HARD and then when you just squeek by it scares the shit out of them almost as bad as me.

What pisses me off the most though is guys who think their too cool to slow down at 3:50 on the main blue run down too the base and ski about mach 20 down a very crowded, in the shade, icy as hell run, narrowly missing at least a hundred people on their way down. Like christ slow the fuck down for one fucking run of the day. I remember back when I used to teach and some prick skied over the front of this 8 year old girl I was teaching's skiis. The guy must have been going 50mph and didn't even look back to see if she was OK. Poor kid never wanted to get on skiis again. Thats one situation when Blurreds favorite slope nazi should pull a persons pass.

[Schmear]

I think the gaper transcends skiing. He exists everywhere in life.

He's the guy who doesn't move out of line after finishing his transaction. Everyone waits and watches as he stuffs his wallet, zips his jacket, and gets his keys out of his pocket.

He's the guy driving in front of you who can't decide if he wants to park or keep moving, so he does neither.

He's the guy who throws garbage out of his window on the freeway.

He's the guy who lowers the safety bar on the chairlift without mentioning it first.

He's the guy who walks into the crowded room and announces he has a problem and someone needs to fix it for him right now.

He's the guy who spends more time calculating damage than having a good time.

He's the guy who leaves the ringer on in the movie theater.

He's the guy who assumes everyone wants things exactly the same as he, so he proceeds accordingly.

In short, the gaper cannot see beyond himself. Gaperness has nothing to do with ability. It has everything to do with responsibility and awareness, specifically the lack of both.

But that's just my opinion. The end.

[summit]

I like a lot of the thoughts this post ended up reavealing. There was way more response than I'd imagined. Revs post! Yea!

As to "king of the gapers" some people need lighten up and grow a sense of humor.

I don't know why a few people have a problem with my happening to reside 1 mile from the slopes.... maybe they are just jelous? Whatever... we'll compare rent and see who is jelous. Honestly cant figure that one out. Maybe thats just a lack of humor issue too

To the spirit of the sport. I get major satisfaction when I set some Texan up with just basic skis and they come back days later and say what a blast they had. I helped them have fun skiing even if they aren't good skiers. That's not what I'm railing on. I am pissed for the same reasons schmear gives... the people i bitch about don't show consideration or common sense. They don't watch out for others and they dont ski within their abilities or where they can ski within their abilities.

Originally posted by Schmear
I think the gaper transcends skiing. He exists everywhere in life.

He's the guy who lowers the safety bar on the chairlift without mentioning it first.

He's the guy who leaves the ringer on in the movie theater.

In short, the gaper cannot see beyond himself. Gaperness has nothing to do with ability. It has everything to do with responsibility and awareness, specifically the lack of both.

I agree 100%

Not all tourists are gapers. Not all gapers are bad. Not everyonis gapic all the time. I'm gapic plenty on tired days.

People who have the cellphones ring in movie theaters should have their phones thrown out the window (and there are no windows in movie theaters )

Some bastard brought the bar down on a lift with no warning and really hit my bud on the head... HARD... if the jackoff hadn't been on the other sideo the lift there woulda been an on the lift fist fight... the gapers comment was "well you knew it was coming" to which I said (before my budy could let off a longer stream of profanities) "look at the 3 chairs in front of you asshole. can you coun't how many have the bar down? you say "bar" or "coming down"" what a fucker.


HERE'S TO PEOPLE SKIING IN JEANS WITH NO SNOW PANTS AND THREE PAIRS OF COTTON SOCKS!

[interloper]

Schmear THAT guy nailed it. They ski,drive,walk with the same
stupidity. Where's your sign? Situation Awareness-Physical position in relation to the surroundings.

[mildbill.]

Originally posted by Schmear

He's the guy who spends more time calculating damage than having a good time.

mildbill does not believe in mutual exclusivity.

[xboat]

nice Schmear!

there's gapers everywhere.

[Benny Profane]

Originally posted by ak_powder_monkey
I hate gaper snowboarders who heelslide in the steeps, thus taking out powder in a 5 foot section instead of a 2 foot line

Ah hahaha. Last time I was at Jackson I hit Pepe's with about 2 feet of fresh on my board. Went into that neat little gully in the middle flying by two or three skiers staring down it, and just floated down it on my heels, enjoying the turnless face shot. I looked back up and think I saw profanities coming out of the skiers mouths, but I couldn't hear, I was laughing so hard.

[two_planks]

Originally posted by interloper
Schmear THAT guy nailed it. They ski,drive,walk with the same
stupidity. Where's your sign? Situation Awareness-Physical position in relation to the surroundings.

Cheers to Bill Engvall. Heres your sign.

[Crinkle]

Interesting contributions and thoughts. I agree most of the way. I am glad I wear a helmet, it has saved my melon more times on a lift chair than off of it. I really get annoyed when I just put my poles under my leg and then they decide to put the bar down, I lean over to pull my poles out from under me and they clock me in the head with the bar. Come on people. Other than than, gapers are just racing gates to me. Unless on the blindside of a hill, then they are targets.

[Pinner]

Originally posted by KQ
Finger & thumb in shape of an "L" on forehead

what she said

[Ted Stryker]

Originally posted by SummitCo 1776


I don't know why a few people have a problem with my happening to reside 1 mile from the slopes.... maybe they are just jelous?

thinking you're cool by living "1 mile" from some flat, jackass molehill is very gaper-like.

ahhh, summit county..........
...where the "locals" gape as hard as the tourists.
training wheels are cool, i guess.

[DINMS]

Originally posted by Benny Profane
Ah hahaha. Last time I was at Jackson I hit Pepe's with about 2 feet of fresh on my board. Went into that neat little gully in the middle flying by two or three skiers staring down it, and just floated down it on my heels, enjoying the turnless face shot. I looked back up and think I saw profanities coming out of the skiers mouths, but I couldn't hear, I was laughing so hard.

If I ever meet you, I'm going to kick your little ass. Just for that.

[summit]

I REALLY REALLY HATE IT WHEN GAPERS HIT MY LITTLE COUSIN AND CAUSE THEM TO GET A TIBIAL SPIRAL FRACTURE THEN SKI OFF

[summit]

Originally posted by Ted Stryker
thinking you're cool by living "1 mile" from some flat, jackass molehill is very gaper-like.

ahhh, summit county..........
...where the "locals" gape as hard as the tourists.
training wheels are cool, i guess.

I'm not cool, I'm lucky to live here.

If you think keystone is a flat jackass molehill you must be sticking to the precut trails an aweful lot. Keystone is fun for a larf or going off. I'm 7 miles from the basin and just a little farther to the pass and loveland and thats what matters to me.



Sounds like you don't know scummit very well.

Then again, you are the almighty all knowing Ted Stryker

[SSSdave]

Some good posts on this thread. Well there are certainly times when I am annoyed by thoughtless ignorant newbies beaming vacantly into the expansive white void. Most of the time I don't let such bother me because when I ski, I'm usually wearing a big grin in happy spirits and mood. But when someone gets in the way of my happy times, I admit to being somewhat impatient and vocal. Several posts here about gapers getting in their way. Well just doesn't bother me much but then again. I turn quick, got a loud voice and use it. If I see a novice zigzagging below in my fall line and not looking uphill, I'll say something well ahead.

Most of my impatience comes on powder days and that usually starts on the drive to the resort.

A skier's got to get there at the opening gun or yah looz period. Some chained up person wants to drive safe and slow fine. But the first road pullout they pass up thus not letting 4wd drivers pass and I'm gonna let them know.

When fresh powder is to be had, any shit which slows my getting on the quickest chair when lift lines are long is annoying. That includes actions which cause empty chair seats in front of me. I'm usually in the singles line. Singles in the front of a line have to be aggressive at filling in empty positions in the loading corral. Clue: the lift attendant doesn't need to personally go over and grope your thingy like they do on the other lines. Just have the frickin ticket or pass visible so the attendant can see it from the other lines their working. And those who never advance in the corral in their own rank making it a puzzle as to who is in what group are worst. Although both some skiers and snowboards do such, the latter seem to do so more while looking at the white void on the ground. I can be pretty vocal getting attention at that point.

If boarders or skiers want to zig and zag across their novice slopes fine. And advanced slopes often have many well used traversing zones to get to nice fall line shots. But when some bozo traverses on a virgin fresh expert slope way out of the fall line in a place there is otherwise no place to traverse over to thus mutilating what would otherwise be many primo unmolested lines, I think they ought to have their plank(s) broken. -dave

[Samwich]

Dave-

yeah. That pretty much sums up how I feel. It's awesome to see the gapers out there having so much fun, because that really is what this sport is about. But when they start to ruin MY fun, that's not okay. What they do on the easy slopes is their business, and as a better skier, it is my responsibility to avoid them. But when they decide to get over their head and fuck around on the shit I'm skiing... that pisses me off. Even then it's fine if they can turn, but when they just traverse...

I was at Whistler two weeks ago, and on the gondy ride up, it was me, my bro, my dad, and two other skiers who I didn't know. They were talking about Crystal and how sweet it was. One of them was telling his friend, "There's this one run, Powder Bowl, and it's AWESOME. I love it when it's really deep. You can just drop in and traverse for DAYS."

Traversing isn't fun. People like that should just go home, or crosscountry ski or something.

[jibij]

Originally posted by The Reverend Floater
I love watching guys my age hitting snow gun jumps like 10 yearolds, exchanging high fives for their sick mini-daffies and meaning it. This is what our sport is all about--stoke.

Gape on!

heh! this is my brother-in-law at WP yesterday.
he skied alta in the 70's and got back on skis 2 days ago for the first time in more than 10 yrs. he was totally stoked over his daffy and spent both days grinning.
http://www.mediarite.com/powboard/jr_wp.jpg

nice post Rev... you mirrored my thoughts.

[squeeky knees]

In the east I hate the snowboarder who can't handle the hill and spends the whole run side slipping and scrapping what little snow we have off the hilll

[sandytheskier]

I hate how gapers don't wit in line in the terrain park for the larger kickers, they just go! Hello, that next huck was mine.

[Spats]

When a snowboarder decides that he's too lazy to turn his neck sideways and look down the hill instead of across. After all, it doesn't matter, because he's right next to the trees on the left side of the run, right? Except for the cat track with lots of skiers coming out of it, who can't see him because he's right next to the trees, and he can't see the cat track because he's looking across the hill and not down. And when that snowboarder hits me hard enough to snap the toe piece off my ski, and screws up my knee so badly that my foot goes completely numb for three days and I can't walk for a week or ski for a month...

That's what I hate about gapers.

[Blurred Elevens]

Originally posted by sandytheskier
I hate how gapers don't wit in line in the terrain park for the larger kickers, they just go! Hello, that next huck was mine.

I hate SandyVaginas that hang out gaping in the park, and fuck up my flow through it because they GAPE every feature, and hang to be part of the "scene". If you had any balls, you'd kill the whole park without stopping. If you see Blurred Elevens rip past you and snake your kicker, just remember he's laughing hard while he kills it like you never could....Troll. Are you a mechanic too?


BTW-Thanks for bringing the safety bar thing up. I hate having to be concious of that thing everytime I get on the chair. The first time you're not...WHACK!! Than I'm really fucking pissed and let them know what's up. Not to mention, they throw it down right away, and then put it up like 8 towers from unloading...I mean if you need the bar, it's probably when your 40 feet off the ground not 5 feet....Also, the way the footrest is on those things, if the chair ever fell to the ground, that safety bar would hammer everyone in the face killing them instantly.