chasing a high

['boat skier]

That was a great post. If you do launch it, good luck! That sounds scary as shit. You certainly have quite a decision in front of you. You will know what to do. Trust yourself, whatever choice that may be!

[Your Attorney]

As Your Attorney, I advise you to chuck a lawndart off that fucker.

[Tyrone Shoelaces]

Post-of-the-month

(if not longer)

[CS]

Good read J.

I don't know if it's just me getting older or what, but it seems the last couple years if I'm not feeling good about something, I just pass it up. Seems better to be able to come back another day that try and save face and maybe hurt myself. That also said, since moving back here, I've felt the need to get a few things done and push myself a bit more than I have the last couple of years. Should be interesting. Best of luck with your little project man.

[marshalolson]

very well put MD-

i am addicted to that feeling too

[Crinkle]

that's what has intrigued me with your desire to huck. MD has complete commitment. I have offered little thoughts the first few times I was present to witness something crazy. After 2 times, his repsonses were solid, "no that's not a factor" or "that's not where I am going" or "its only 20 ft max".
He has an absolute vision of what he is going to do and what the outcome is. Now J if you are questioning it, then it might not be "responsibilities" or other troubling factors, but a twitch that says "rethink" or look at another angle, maybe there is something missing from the equation. If you know you can do it, I am sure it can be done, I've seen it enough times. But....sometimes the impossible can't be done or its not worth the rest of the season.

good retrospective piece. I have done a lot of things on skis this past year, things I thought couldn't be done, but hell it was hard getting out of that heli a few times

[Samwich]

I've been having similar thoughts recently.

Is the risk of nailing the line worth it? Is it necessary to scare myself just a little bit every time I go skiing? Why do I push my limits? My only reward is an adrenaline rush. If you do a cost/benefit analysis of the things I do on skis, it isn't worth it, really. Facing death or injury for that buzz, for the very real and chemical high of adrenaline. If that's not a chemical addiction, I don't know what is.

I only have these thoughts after I'm done skiing. While I'm skiing, it's all focus. I know what I can do. I know my limits. I know the consequences. I know the risks and rewards, and I do it anyway. There are lines that haunt me, lines I know I can do but shy away from because of fear of injury. I have seldom felt better than I have after nailing a line I've wanted for a while, but it takes a lot to build up to them.

It's all part of the sport, and it's an internal conflict of willpower, confidence, and self-preservation. When I decide to ski something, I'm 99% confident I can do it. It's that nagging 1% of what-if that makes this sport so much god damn fun.

[bad_roo]

That closed rope was your get out of jail free card. Don't do it. Things happen for a reason.

[zion zig zag]

I wish I could be there today to either witness it or just check out the landing with you. Knowing exactly where you are talking about has me nervous just reading it. Good luck, dood.

[SkiJunky05]

Good post. I'm sure those types of thoughts are shared by many people on the board and you articulated them well.

[Karl Stall]

great read, J. I know you'll hit it now that it has you in its grasp. Sure you'll stick it, too.

However, I personally think it is time to dial it back before something goes wrong that you could not have anticipated. Like Frozen said, my own demon is the pursuit of powder, and last year you were witness to me having my ass kicked by an avalanche. I got lucky.

I also need to take my own advice as I was just guinea-pigging a 45 degree pow face over a terrain trap a week ago, skiing with my avalung in my mouth and planning my exit if the thing went. Was it calculated? Yep, but shit still could have gone.

I do not think we mellow rapidly from full-charger to meek middle ager, but rather it is like a hot cup of coffee slowly cooling over the years. Breaking my leg doing a back flip wakeboarding ended my invert days, and last season's close call in AK definitely has given me pause about if/when I will go back to Alaska and how I would approach it. That being said, I had a vivid dream about being in Valdez last night.

Your post raises more questions than answers, and, perhaps, more than many posts, gets to the heart of what drives us to pursue skiing to the degree we do. Krakauer has a good take on the phenomenon in "Into Thin Air".

Either way, Riley sure is cute and she is going to need you around to keep her off the stripper pole later in life, at least that's what Chris Rock says. You have nothing left to prove in the air - your body of work is quite complete!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[Ireallyliketoski2]

So long as you don't kill yourself and have all your friends say "Well, at least he died doing what he loved most" I think everything is OK.

[Vinman]

Reading that initial post made me nervous for you and made me want to go ski. That's more than I can say for the majority of thread on here lately.

[bad_roo]

Because it uses jet engines, the aeroplane will take off.

[truth]

Because it uses jet engines, the aeroplane will take off.

What if the treadmill is upside-down?

[EPSkis]

Just make sure it's worth it.

I just deleted 3 paragraphs trying to convey this same message.

J ~ You know what's at stake. Keep that thought somewhere in the back on your mind as you're chasing that high.

[jibij]

Chilly read, J.
Karl said it well. The hot cup of coffee slowly cooling is a great analogy. That's exactly how I'm feeling about my skiing/boarding these days, and I'm OK with it. I've realized that I'll never stop loving it no matter what the goals are.

That said... you're brain is throwing warnings at you for a reason. Listen to them. You've got a lifetime of highs ahead of you with that little girl. Those highs get increasingly more addictive. The high you get from flinging your meat off a rock will pale in comparison in the grand scheme. I'm not saying don't do it and I know I'm preaching to the choir, but listen to the warnings. You've got more to lose now. You're smart enough and calculated enough to know when it's right. Be safe.

[grizzle6]

My palms are sweating after that read. And you literally took the thoughts and words right out of my mouth. Eeees a crezy, crezy world.

[Buzzworthy]

I liked reading that especially because you gave us a slight look into your mind (and it is one hell of a mind) about what you think about when you decide to go big. You have me visualize what you were doing. I think I kinda know the approximate area you are talking about and boy would I like to see that, if you decide it is for you. We all know you are a smart skier and huckster, you will find your answer someday, maybe sooner, maybe later.


Thank you for sharing a perspective that you really don't see much of.





That said, if this huck is for you, I hope you hit that shit and stomp it clean.

(and GT better get pics!)

[sick.bird]

CAW! CAW!!

[The Suit]

However I think the solution I have come upon can also help you in your dilema. You need to take all of that tension, all of that stress and focus it on hitting the ULTIMATE masterbation session. Not the I have a few seconds lets get it done shit. Rather, the take no prisoners, scream like your being tortured, declairing a jihad on your penis type of jerk Off. Take that to the top of your line, punish the little mD9 for a good 45-50 minutes and if you still feel like you need to push the limit - and you still have the strength to stand, then go for it.

You were probably hoping I wouldn't see that.

[Buzzworthy]

You were probably hoping I wouldn't see that.

But I bet you laughed.



MD9 called me back just a bit ago and sounds like a giddy school girl who just got her first kiss. Asked if he was having any fun and he said this is day 8 in a row and are slaying it. Sounded just a wee bit amped.


I hope he spills more later

[truth]

You were probably hoping I wouldn't see that.

He likes an audience.

[meatdrink9]

It got did. A total team effort. GT got below and worked the radio and camera. Meats came in through one of the demoisy chutes and grabbed my pack after tossing it off the cliff. He then moved up hill and away from the landing area, but stayed close enough to still get to me quickly should something go wrong.

We skied a few nice runs early in the day. The first run was in sisters. Meats may have jumped his first 30 footer ever. It was solid. I had to twist his arm a little to do it, but he was really glad he did and that sort of set the pace for the day.

After that we did one run through the MB cirque and aired a couple of small cliffs. When we were loading the gondy back up I asked what time it was. GT said 11:15. I had to leave the mountain by 12:30 to relieve the babysitter (my mother in law) so she could get to an appointment. I knew the window was closing if we didn't go start working now. The heat was really picking up today and conditions might not be this good again for awhile.

We devise a plan that gives meats a great run for photos (the Demoisy chute I aired into and tagged rock the day before, but he enters on the side). He skis the line like it's nothing. I swear I have to just about push the kid off cliffs, but in steep chutes where I'm gripped he just cruises like it's no big deal. After he skis his line I make old school hop turns down the chute so I get right below the cliff I want to air. I take out my probe and zig-zag across the hill. I also use my poles to see how soft it is with a little more resistance. The snow couldn't have been any better. I only struck ground twice in about 40 tries and both times it was about 10 feet deep.

That was it. I knew the landing was good to go. Now the only concern would be clearing the cliff. It slopes a ton and I didn't want to mess around with tagging the thing. I found out just how much the cliffs slope the day before when I actually partially landed on one.

We then went up top. Meats got into position in his chute to retrieve my pack. I gave the pack a good swing and then let go. The cliffs pitch mid way down and I couldn't see what the pack hit. GT radioed up that it cleared the cliff by about 10 feet or so. Alright, that was good news too. The two big concerns I had were now gone. Meats grabbed the pack. I radioed that I was going to hike back up the hill and do it.

I radioed to GT and gave him my position on the hill and asked if he thought that would be enough speed. He replied that he couldn't be sure. I replied that I didn't think there was anyway I could overshoot the landing and get to the traverse where the patrol had set up shop to rescue the man from yesterday. He replied that he agreed. I decided I'd hike up another few feet just to be safe. At this point I was probably 40 feet back from the cliff with a perfectly slipped ramp into a lip ahead of me. You can't trust your eyes at this point. Or at least you can't let the training they've had over so many years tell you that this is wrong. It just doesn't seem real.

I radio that the mouthguard is going in...and I'll be dropping 10. I put the radio back into my pocket. My shaking hands find their way back to the pole grips and I push off. I'm instantly hauling. I know I'm going to clear the rock. And then I hit the lip. It actually boosts me up above the cliff and into the air. And then I see the world below. This can't be real. My eyes just aren't believing what they're seeing. I instantly cover the ground needed to get away from the cliff and just keep flying. Soon my trajectory begins to shift I start to fall from the sky. I can see all my zig-zags below and know that I've done all I can to make sure I've got a good landing. At first I had nice tight form, but the further I fall I notice I'm starting to drift. I see my landing and it is the traverse the patrollers used the day before. I continue to drift more backseat. And then WHUMPH!!! I'm down. I can't see anything. Am I submerged? I wipe off my googles and can see just fine. I'm in a bombhole, but not bad. The landing was flawless. I didn't feel a thing. My body surges with adrenaline. I jump out of the hole and start screaming like a mad man. It was without a doubt the biggest rush I've ever had. Meats skis over and we start laughing/cheering. One of my skis released, but that was it. The impact wasn't that bad. My DIN is only at 10 in the toe and 9 in the heel and it was the heel that popped. One of my ski poles is hiding somewhere in the bombhole, but I've got to get moving if I'm going to get home in time for the babysitter. Meats keeps digging and I head to the base.

Meats and GT are still up there getting after it. It's been an incredible storm cycle. This was day 8 in a row. So fun being back home.

Heres a pic of me packing the lip from yesterday. The traverse I land on is probably another 30-40 feet down from the edge of the old 6 foot crown.

I'm glad I did it. There really was no reward for launchinig this thing other than the life experience and there was indeed a lot to risk, but that can be said of so many other days skiing. I think we played smart and really tested everything imaginable before we did it and it paid off.

[teleee]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!
I just wet myself. Way to go and "Get er Dun"