A bad way to go

**Schmear** · 12-21-2005, 12:41 PM

Just found an earthworm in my basement dried up and stuck to the floor. I'm sure there are worse ways to go, but drying to death has to be right up there.

**vinzclortho** · 12-21-2005, 12:48 PM

Nurse #2: Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. Where would you like it sent?

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Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It's hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover...

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Ed: That's no way for a man to die.
Frank: Ehhh, you're right, Ed. A parachute not opening... that's a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine... having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that's the way I wanna go.
Mrs. Nordberg: [crying] Oh... Frank. Ohh this is terrible.
Ed: Don't you worry Wilma. Your husband is going to be alright. Don't you worry about anything. Just think positive. Never let a doubt enter your mind.
Frank: He's right, Wilma. But I wouldn't wait until the last minute to fill out those organ donor cards.
Mrs. Nordberg: [starts crying again]
Ed: What I'm trying to say is that Wilma, as soon as Nordburg is better, he's welcome back at Police Squad.
Frank: Unless he's a drooling vegetable. But I think that's only common sense...

**iceman** · 12-21-2005, 01:40 PM

Drying out doesn't kill you, it's just really boring.

**Sutter** · 12-21-2005, 02:34 PM

I got the Naked Gun box set as an early Christmas gift. Best gift of the year.

**wicked_sick** · 12-21-2005, 03:37 PM

I always thought slowly being fed through a woodchipper feet first would be a pretty crappy way to go.

But slow dehydration would be pretty bad too. I bet it's like dying from a hangover.

**yentna** · 12-21-2005, 07:31 PM

Thanks for the nightmares to come tonight. Feet first into a woodchipper? Shudder.

**bagtagley** · 12-21-2005, 11:41 PM

Vlad The Impaler used to impale (duh) groups of people in circles so that they had to watch each other die, which could take days.

Watching your neighbor rot while a large stake slowly worked it's way up your ass is about as bad as I can imagine.

**Daywalker** · 12-22-2005, 12:50 AM

Originally Posted by bagtagley

Vlad The Impaler used to impale (duh) groups of people in circles so that they had to watch each other die, which could take days.

Watching your neighbor rot while a large stake slowly worked it's way up your ass is about as bad as I can imagine.

What if that f******* Hmaster Dance song was playing in the background?

**PaSucks** · 12-22-2005, 01:00 AM

Originally Posted by Daywalker

What if that f******* Hmaster Dance song was playing in the background?

Or it's a small world after all???

**The AD** · 12-22-2005, 01:24 AM

Let's face it, earthworms face some serious hurdles. If the Robins don't get them they end up baked in the sun on the sidewalk. I understand Zoloft prescriptions are ubiquitous aomngst earthworms.

**PaSucks** · 12-22-2005, 01:51 AM

The execution of King Edward II by his wife was apparently pretty brutal. A pipe was placed in his rectum, and a red hot pocker was inserted inside his bowels by means of the pipe. He burned to death from the inside. That has to be worse than drying to death.

**Cobra Commander** · 12-22-2005, 02:14 AM

all the while being circled by mocking singlespeed riders sporting white studded belts, argyle shirts, and an attitude

**Arty50** · 12-22-2005, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by PaSucks

The execution of King Edward II by his wife was apparently pretty brutal. A pipe was placed in his rectum, and a red hot pocker was inserted inside his bowels by means of the pipe. He burned to death from the inside. That has to be worse than drying to death.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!!!!