Top-25 Sensation? Hells no!

**RhymesWithOrange** · 12-07-2005, 06:10 PM

Here's the skinny. I've got this roommate who went to the dentist yesterday, and during that time made the most ludicrous assertion I have heard in a great while. Let me paraphrase:

From what I got from her story, it was said to her dentist: "If I had to make a list of my Top-25 BEST Sensations in Life, having clean teeth would easily make the list."

Now, if she was merely blowing smoke up his ass, then fine, but she was serious. CLEAN TEETH! TOP-25! And she was so proud of it, like we all agreed with her.

OK, now clean teeth are nice, especially when they aren't yours and they encircle a tongue that is being jammed down your throat or upon your schwanz. But let's get serious: Your teeth, clean, Top-25? I say NO sir.

Think of every sensation you have had in life (we determined SEX and SEX-related sensations take up at least the Top-15 on the list). Would you stick clean teeth in there? What would your remaining ten be on the list?

**schindlerpiste** · 12-07-2005, 06:20 PM

Speed events:
35mph+ on skis
100mph+ on a motorcycle
125mph+ in a Porsche

Sand and Surf events:
warm sand between your toes
SCUBA in tropical waters
Bagging a Marlin ...then releasing it

Too many others to list. If you brush your teeth 1-2X/day, then a cleaning at the dentist just does not do it. Maybe, if you went a year w/out brushing...

**nealric** · 12-07-2005, 11:26 PM

Personally I HATE the just gone to the detist feeling.

It feels like my mouth has been sandpapered.

**andrewjesaitis** · 12-08-2005, 03:42 AM

Originally Posted by nealric

Personally I HATE the just gone to the detist feeling.

It feels like my mouth has been sandpapered.

Me too. Especially after they polish your teeth with that horrible gritty shit. I would say that going to the dentist makes my teeth feel dirtier than before I went.

**iceman** · 12-08-2005, 08:40 AM

You gotta stop going to the one-stop Dentistry-Proctology clinic, man.

**BolognaPony** · 12-08-2005, 10:50 AM

Ya, be careful with the one-stop, I hear they do a shitty job (ha ha)

I think my #16 sensation was buying leather pants for the first time, or finding that new calogne that compiments my natural musk so well

**Beaver** · 12-08-2005, 12:10 PM

Originally Posted by schindlerpiste

Speed events:
35mph+ on skis

35mph does not feel fast. That is a nice comfortable lazy cruising speed on skis. It is surprisingly easy to achieve 55mph on skis.

**Beaver** · 12-08-2005, 12:11 PM

Personally I think a good dump rates much higher than any trip to the dentist.

**lingcod** · 12-09-2005, 01:17 AM

I don't think anything involving a dentist could be deemed top 25. Even cleaning is a shitty experience, and speaking of shitty, ditto on taking a dump. That would be a top 25, routinely.

**cj001f** · 12-09-2005, 02:46 AM

Originally Posted by Beaver

35mph does not feel fast. That is a nice comfortable lazy cruising speed on skis. It is surprisingly easy to achieve 55mph on skis.

125mph in a car isn't fast either.

Sensations -

2lb trout on a midge
A gorgeous drunken dawn
High School sweetheart sex

**schindlerpiste** · 12-09-2005, 06:42 AM

Originally Posted by Beaver

35mph does not feel fast. That is a nice comfortable lazy cruising speed on skis. It is surprisingly easy to achieve 55mph on skis.

I never measured my actual speed when skiing. My numbers are conservative. I'd rather be unpretentious than ostentaitous any day of the week.

**joshbu** · 12-09-2005, 11:27 AM

Baseball Cut Top Sirloin? Alaskan Halibut? Maine Lobster? Fresh Microbrew? Gran Patron Tequila? Right off the tree Pineapple?

Sheet. Even a Ballpark Frank and a MGD beats clean teeth. Seriously.

**Journey4Life** · 12-09-2005, 11:28 AM

I don't even think head in a dentist office would be that good. I'd be all worried that I cut myself on some of those tools, or I'd hear the drill from another room and cringe up. Fuck dentists. Your roomate's insain. Taking a big dump at the dentists would rank up there on my list.

**nhtele** · 12-09-2005, 12:38 PM

Umm, skiing bottomless pow?

**Tippster** · 12-09-2005, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by schindlerpiste

...I'd rather be unpretentious than ostentaitous any day of the week.

Kudos, Sirrah! Well played!

Edit: Up there has got to be getting your SO to scratch that itch on your back you can't reach. I also like that slight tingle I get in my nose when it's about to snow, but the greatest non-sexual feeling has to be a good wholesome snot clearing sneeze.

Edit pt. II: A ski related feeling besides the obvious Face Shot would be the bootgasm for me. Taking the clogs off at the end of a great day is bliss.

**RhymesWithOrange** · 12-09-2005, 05:29 PM

I definately agree with the snot and bootgasm, not in that particular order though. Hot tubbin is up there as well, especially after a long tour, with a nice cold one.

Oh, and Trogdor, the dentist-lover may soon be your roomate too...

**Adolf Allerbush** · 12-09-2005, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by lingcod

I don't think anything involving a dentist could be deemed top 25. Even cleaning is a shitty experience, and speaking of shitty, ditto on taking a dump. That would be a top 25, routinely.

I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree here. I mean, can you seriously say that you like the sensation of dumping over not dumping? Imagine not having to dump....having to take a shit sucks....having to piss sucks...I don't know...but going to the bathroom is one of the best sensations ever? I wholeheartedly disagree. Then again performing the upper decker is pretty fun.

**Art Shirk** · 12-09-2005, 08:55 PM

Originally Posted by Adolf Allerbush

I'm gonna have to go ahead and disagree here. I mean, can you seriously say that you like the sensation of dumping over not dumping? Imagine not having to dump....having to take a shit sucks....having to piss sucks...I don't know...but going to the bathroom is one of the best sensations ever? I wholeheartedly disagree. Then again performing the upper decker is pretty fun.

I have enjoyed the hell out of pulling off the upperdecker. However, the fruit of your labor takes awhile to ripen and become known. I think conducting a good dry-docking is much more satifying.

**BolognaPony** · 12-12-2005, 11:41 AM

Is that like shutting the water off to the toilet, then filling the bowl with flavorless jello? Or is a drydock like taking a shit in the coatroom? Please educate me

**altagirl** · 12-12-2005, 12:02 PM

Originally Posted by joshbu

Baseball Cut Top Sirloin? Alaskan Halibut? Maine Lobster? Fresh Microbrew? Gran Patron Tequila? Right off the tree Pineapple?

Sheet. Even a Ballpark Frank and a MGD beats clean teeth. Seriously.

Grilled pineapple... yummy.

Honestly, unless you're grouping all food and drink that tastes good into one category, I coudn't even imagine how long the list would be of things that taste good that would rank higher than cleen teeth.

And then there are all the sports-related sensations - skiing pow, carving a really fast clean turn, getting air and landing so smooth you didn't even feel the transition, weaving your bike through twisty singletrack, even climbing and getting a second wind, or the adrenaline rush of cleaning an obstacle.

Then there are just the nature-related things: standing in surf, feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin after you've been cold, laying in the grass listening to the rustle of leaves and feeling the breeze, or the crackle and warmth of a campfire on a cold night.

Cleen teeth??? I guess I also associate getting my teeth cleaned with having my jaw stuck open while someone tries to carry on a conversation with me, my lips drying out, that gritty crap they clean them with, and the prospect of having my teeth drilled. Screw that.

**Free Range Lobster** · 12-12-2005, 12:39 PM

30 knots under sail.

**bklyn** · 12-12-2005, 02:33 PM

Rhymes:

It's your job to give roomie an ear popping - see colors orgasm to knock clean teeth out the box for good. TR w/photos required.

**wicked_sick** · 12-12-2005, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by BolognaPony

Is that like shutting the water off to the toilet, then filling the bowl with flavorless jello? Or is a drydock like taking a shit in the coatroom? Please educate me

Turn off the water to the toilet (valve behind toilet) then flush all the water out. Once it is dry drop a deuce.

the best is when it's at a party and someone has to use the pooper to puke. They usually have no difficulty.

**MOHSHSIHd** · 12-12-2005, 03:55 PM

-Chest Deep Pow
-sack deep play
-shooting a large animal 40 miles from the nearest human, then waiting in the dark till 2am while hearing wolves circling around you
-big air