How Many Partners Do You Have?

[Yossarian]

No, not like that!

A question for the climbers, backcountry skiers, mountaineers, and so forth.

I've found that while there are a great many people one this planet with whom I'd happily share some turns, drinks, laughs, women, whatever, there are REMARKABLY few that have that elusive combination of the "right" level of experience, humor, risk-aversion, skill, personality, whatever that matches my particular interests, needs, tolerances, and so forth so as to become a long-term partner.

It's not like I am trying to be picky, but there just aren't that many people out there that I can stand to be stuck in a tent with for days on end, tied to a rope to for hours on end, are at a similar level of skill and interest (whatever it may be - I cannot for instance, climb beyond pretty moderate grades, although I've been climbing all my life), to whom I'd trust my life to, and yet still want to hang out with at the end of the day, or trip.

I have ripping skier friends with whom I'd never want to go in the backcountry, hilarious bar friends with whom I'd never tie into a rope, incredible climbing acquaintences who I can't stand, and so on.

"Making partner" means there is the right combo of all these different aspects we each feel we need, for both parties involved.

So, how many do you really have? For me, these people, once identified, are people I hope to keep for the rest of my life. So far, I think I have found five, each with a slightly different flavor or skill set (climber, skier, etc). Unfortunately, only two of them live where I live (well, sort of live), one is a little out of practice, and the others are scattered around the country. This poses all sorts of questions for me.

You?

[skieurmalade]

to fit all those categories, I'd say I only have one, and these days he's a slow college student i'm always waiting for but his madness/humor/skills are still keeping him afloat above the rest

[Shorey]

Five is a lot. You're lucky.

If you're asking how many people do we have that we'd actually climb, ski, drink with then I sadly have none that fit the bill for all activities.

Long distance trail running and hiking....er...1
Skiing... 2. One of whom is my father and the other is my bro...I doubt my father would ski off piste these days and I know my bro would not give me "partner" status in the back country - he loves the pow, whilst I still flounder in certain conditions.
Climbing..... no one. Yes I climb with people, but infrequently.
Of the three cited above, I'm related to 2, but would happily drink in a bar with all of them.

[lemon boy]

too few

655321

[Yossarian]

one of mine is my father, but we're starting to diverge. He's a better climber, any my pace is too slow for him when I'm leading, and I'm a much better skier, meaning I'm not comfortable anymore doing much more than nice tours and moderate skiing with him.

my brother could be one, but he's been pursuing other good stuff, like a great job and great gal lately, and has not really been in the mountains seriously for a while.

but family counts, definitely, if they fit the bill for you.

And no, to clarify, they don't necessarily have to be all things at once, they just have to be enough that you consider them a partner. One of mine is a decent skier, a so-so climber, and a super duper hiker/backpacker, and the nicest guy ever. Another is a fantastic skier, a poor climber, and a totally hilarious manwhore.

[iceman]

So far, I think I have found five, each with a slightly different flavor.

We're getting dangerously close to Spats' territory here.

[CantDog]

Got a few in each area...rock climbing, ice climbing, ski touring, but few that I feel comfortable doing all with. I guess i would have to say 2, possibly 3 that I can feel comfortable doing all with.

[Yossarian]

Sorry, edited this in back in the second post...

To clarify, they don't necessarily have to be all things at once, they just have to be enough that you consider them a partner. One of mine is a decent skier, a so-so climber, and a super duper hiker/backpacker, and the nicest guy ever. Another is a fantastic skier, a poor climber, and a totally hilarious manwhore.

So, sounds like you've found some good peeps Cant.

[gonzo]

....hilarious bar friends with whom I'd never tie into a rope

I hope I am in this category.

[Yossarian]

unquestionably. Are you really going to hit CO tomorrow? I hate you.

[teleee]

I wish I had 5 that I could consider true partners. Probably 3 that would fit this description. My touring amigo recently had the nerve to move to Colorado leaving me in limbo. I think I would rather lose a girlfriend than a long time touring partner.

[gonzo]

unquestionably. Are you really going to hit CO tomorrow? I hate you.

really. hate on! i hope you can swing up on your way through next week. give me a ringy when you get a chance.

[Yossarian]

I wish I had 5 that I could consider true partners. Probably 3 that would fit this description. My touring amigo recently had the nerve to move to Colorado leaving me in limbo. I think I would rather lose a girlfriend than a long time touring partner.

Well, this is sort of why I'm asking.

We're all so fucked and special and funny and quirky in our own little ways that I think it's really amazingly rare to find more than a few really good partners at any given time.

It occurs to me that finding these people is about on par with the whole "Do You Believe in One True Love" discussion. My belief is that we're capable of so much love that there's more than just one person out there for each of us, but that said, the list of people that can really work for you for a lifetime is damn small. You have to work at least reasonably well emotionally, phyically, mentally, politically, religiously, etc, etc, etc.

If I really really push back on my own definitions, I think I probably have only three Partners I know I'll keep for sure for the rest of my life. There's another one or two that I think will get there if circumstance allows, but are just a bit newer. And then there's a good handful of people that might not be lifetime backcountry partners but are super solid and great friends, and just don't happen to be the people I'd categorize quite the same way, nor would want to.

[shera]

I skied so long with such few people, those that taught me, that I have been making an effort to branch out. It helps to learn how different people behave and I think/hope it is making me a better partner.

That said, I have VERY different comfort levels with different people.

Great thread, btw.

[Haywood Jablome]

I would have to say there are only 2 people that stackup for all the catergories and 4 more that fill all them except snowboarding/skiing.


[QUOTE=Yossarian]No, not like that!

For me, these people, once identified, are people I hope to keep for the rest of my life.

I agree!

[teleee]

It occurs to me that finding these people is about on par with the whole "Do You Believe in One True Love" discussion. My belief is that we're capable of so much love that there's more than just one person out there for each of us, but that said, the list of people that can really work for you for a lifetime is damn small. You have to work at least reasonably well emotionally, phyically, mentally, politically, religiously, etc, etc, etc.

Nicely said Yoss. I have thought a lot recently about the same thing since I have been touring recently with several new partners, almost like a first date. It is rare to find that individual that you would literally trust with your life. Who at the same time you can laugh until you cry about the same situation over beers a few hours later.
If you know who Mark Jenkins (for sure one of the dudes I would trust with my life) is, he wrote a very good article about partner dynamics for his The Hard Way series in Outside magazine.
Qualifications are only one of the many dynamics that make up a mutual pairing. There are so many other things that come into efect. When you are snowed into a yurt or tent day after day you better be able to talk about the same stupid stories for hours or somebody isnt going to make it out of the tent.

[Ireallyliketoski2]

I'm down to zero in all categories as I've managed to piss everyone off significantly enough to warrant no future invitations.

[This End Up]

Good topic, for me there are 2;

1 - Brother for climbing. He is into the 14ners, but only took up this passion after leaving CO, so we are hardly in the same place at the same time.

2 - Old College Buddy for skiing and hiking. He is in much better shape than I and smokes me at skiing, hiking. We are about even when it comes to fisihing. He stayed in CO and is living the weekend warrior life, where as I'm the friend who left, but we get along well.

[iskibc]

It really depends on the scale of the trip/climb/ski/etc., but for the most part there are around 3-4 partners I would go anywhere and everywhere with. It really comes down to trust, experience with that particular person, comfort and communication levels, and knowledge of what he/she can and can't do. Personality plays a big role too, especially if you are going to spend days on end with that person.

[Yossarian]

It really depends on the scale of the trip/climb/ski/etc., but for the most part there are around 3-4 partners I would go anywhere and everywhere with. It really comes down to trust, experience with that particular person, comfort and communication levels, and knowledge of what he/she can and can't do. Personality plays a big role too, especially if you are going to spend days on end with that person.

yeah, it's the combination of that first part and last part that I find interesting. We could go out with some people anywhere/anytime and feel okay, but would we enjoy the company too? Do we actually LIKE to be out with them, or just know that we can work with them in backcountry situations? The combo of both is rare, and very cool.

Three cheers for good partners!

[FreakofSnow]

I am in between partners now. I have been moving almost every 5 years for the last 15 so I have had some flux. It is an odd thing. You move to a new area and have to start all over. Meeting new people and learning what they are comfortable with and your comfort level with their knowledge. Then comes all the quirky things that go on b/t partners. Not to mention what dynamics might exist between your ski partner and their significant other.

The past few times I have moved to a new area, it has taken 2 or so season to find a new ripping buddy. We gradually work our way up into more "complex" missions, feeling out each other's abilities.

I have 2 partners now that I call and set up an adventure at most anytime.

[homerjay]

Probably 3-4 people come to mind, as I like to go out with more experienced individuals. Unfortunately, one of them is injured, one of them I see very rarely, and the other one is more of a mountaineer/climber than a skier by far. So, I basically have one ski partner with whom I share similar abilities and objectives. However, I am typically the 'group leader' when I go out with my friends around here, and as such, I make very conservative selections on routes and objectives because I consider myself relatively inexperienced. I was thinking the other night how it's been a long time since I've been out of my comfort zone, and thusly, been a long time since I've expanded my knowledge base. Basically, I feel as if I'm better suited to a supporting role but rarely am in that situation.

[粉末雪]

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If you have to ask........

[Yossarian]

-I think I have five, each with a slightly different flavor
-I'd say I only have one but his skills are still keeping him afloat above the rest
-Five is a lot. You're lucky.
-Too few
-Got a few in each area
-I hope I'm in this category
-I wish I had five
-I have been making an effort to branch out. I hope it is making me a better partner.
-I am in between partners now.
-I have 2 partners now that I call and set up an "adventure" at most anytime.

--> Swingingest/Gayest thread EVAR!!! Ha!

[lemon boy]

Yoss have you seen the TV ads here for Denver's new "bathouse" scene? sounds about like this thread: come meet guys into the same adventuresome alternative lifestyle as you!