Dear Diary: The Agonies of Leaving Your Place

[Buster Highmen]

Material things are not ethereal things and doing is so much more than having.

But have you ever worked really hard on something, plotted, saved, designed, coordinated, built something? Did you get attached?

From the long years of searching, of sifting for the right nugget and finding an incomparable thing. Then planning, designing, scrapping and reworking the castles in your mind until it seems right.

Then getting permits, running 2x4s, setting up forms, watching the pour. Helping with cuts, measuring, hammering on weekends, slowing building up a dream. Seconds and minutes and hours and hours and weeks and months of hammering, hauling, staining, stinking, placing, laying, planing, sanding, oiling, tuning, admonishing, praising, cajoling, currying. And finally it's done, except a few doorknobs. The dream has desublimated into a tangible thing.

I've been proud beyond vanity and loved the results beyond reason. And we've had to fight for our privacy with no government support, no police, just confronting and civil suits. But the toll is too great. I'm tired of the bullshit, the cost of lawsuits, the flacidity of the government in supporting the sacredness of a family's security. I hope this never happens to any of you and that your home can always be a place of comfort.

So we're going to sell. And I'm sad. Really sad. But it's acknowledging the situation, the new needs of having a family, of realizing that the objective cost too much, that it makes us a target.

I'm hoping that this opens a new chapter with new possibilities, new freedom and more time.

A very few of you have seen it. I wished I'd been able to host more of you and I think we'll have some big parties before we go.

So there's this moments bearing of the heart on the virtual sleeve. Blat-woof.

[lemon boy]

Sucks Buster sorry to hear that man!

Don't forget to get a lifetime fishing easement for you and four guests when you sell er off dude!

[iceman]

Wow, sorry to hear that, it's a beautiful place. Too bad the bastards wore ya down but I bet the next stop will be even better.

[Buster Highmen]

LB: In the main lawsuit, I gave the state a fishing easement. Now the bastards won't enforce it.

Yeah, Ice, you saw it. Kills me to let it go, but after picking up more dogshit again and looking at the schools and access to resources for kids and L, it's time.

[Canuk]

Damn Buster...I remember when I first got on the board you were having problems with neghbors - sorry to hear that it has finally become too much for you.

[gincognito]

Often I have no idea what is going on, but I'm pretty sure that anything that sucks for Buster, sucks in general.

Ummm.

What I mean is, sorry to hear this news.

Sick and ashamed and happy (and it's people that make things),
d.

[Buster Highmen]

It's the distance into town for preschool, swimlessons, food, the distance to grandma's (our only babysitting) that's driving it too.

It would probably be more fitting for me to end up as some gun toting sleep deprived Nick Nolte type k00k guarding our property. But that would eat into my ski time despite what it would do for my hairstyle.

[bad_roo]

Maybe you need a knife-wielding, bow hunting babysitter.

[iceman]

Maybe you need a knife-wielding, bow hunting babysitter.

Chuck Norris!

[splat]

Sounds like there will be a good ole fashioned barn raising soon.

shit happens. things change.

the only certainty.

I understand.

[Woodsy]

B,
you know my feelings. I will be sad to see your wonderful castlle go but will be so happy for your sanity and your family.

I look forward to exploring your next basement and will never forget my feet in the river looking up at the stars telling tales and laughing.
talk soon,
bean

[weibo]

I think you should look into getting Leeeroy Jeeennkinns!!! to look after your place. That should take care of all the problems and you get a baby sitter. Think on it, you may be surprised.


Otherwise I hope you find a place that fills your needs and later on look back on the whole experience and find fond memories.

[Shin-to-Win]

Sorry to hear than man, sounds like a great private stash you had there,

Your big decision that hits very close to home right now. I don't really have issues with my neighbors, but after pouring my heart and soul into our place in Wallingford and finally getting it dialed in, we are moving on as well. A few months ago, I swore I would NEVER move but life has a way of dealing new hands.

For us, the pending arrival of a third and final rug rat and my lust for a real garage so I can play grease monkey on the weekends was too much. We sign all the final papers on the new place tomorrow and I am still in total denial.

We're gonna love the new place, but I keep shaking my head whenever I look at the finished basemant, bead board, custom built-ins, wine cellar etc that I put in over the years. I had fun doing the work, but I am not finished enjoying the fruits if my labor.

Anyway, I hope you find a new happy place and if, by any stretch, you are interested in moving to the city our place will be on the market in a month or so. Not much fishing in the backyard though

[Big E]

I will openly confess to having no idea what the good Mr. Highmen is speaking of in many of his posts, but this one, I understand exactly. Sorry to hear that things have reached a breaking point, but now you have the opportunity to make the next place that much more perfect, correcting the inevitable minor details that you didn't consider the first (or second or twentieth) go 'round.

Good luck.

[meatdrink9]

We're both in the same boat. I'm still putting the finishing touches on a 2.5 year project. I thought we'd spend some serious time here, but once those kids come it's crazy how things change. All of a sudden being close to the bars and downtown doesn't much matter. Our hip 115 year old remodel suddenly scares the crap out of me anytime I see my daughter playing with junk on the floor (worries of lead and asbestos despite the fact I know I got rid of 99.9% of it). We put an offer in on a place in UT to be closer to family as well. Just like you it will greatly help with the skiing time. It's crazy how priorities change. We pulled a lot of really cool houses out of the running based on how aspects of those places might affect Riley. We're still going to hold onto our place. Fortunately, while it's cool it's also not huge or expensive so we'll rent it out and if someday we can come back we'll be able to.

[Pinner]

Vive le Chaquteau!

Et aussi les swimlessons. La change, c'est bien. Bon chance.

[shmerham]

I came across this thread. I feel it totally parallels what I'm going through right now. I've spent so much time developing my social network. It took a while to get the ball rolling; I felt like I was trapped in a world of small talk and drunken nights where you never get that euphoric feeling. Things started taking off though and the momentum continues. I'm constantly meeting new people, many of which are really cool. I want to see how much more my network expands and how much deeper the established relationships develop. It's very sad to consider the fact that if I leave I'll halt all of that progress.