Quotes from the Chairlift: 05-06 Edition

[peterslovo]

I've got freerides on all my skis and always get comments about them when I'm on the lifts at a resort:

Some from last season:
"Can you telemark with those?"

"Are you from Europe?"

And my favorite:
"Are those randomay bindings?"

Haven't got out yet this season.

[Bluebird]

Not on the lift but I have been chuckling for a day or two now. Last friday night at a sales gig.

I hand a guy a sticker and he proudly says..

"I am going to put this on my Ski Tote"

[Shepherd Wong]

Not a quote but the lift had been stopped for maybe 15 minutes, and the dude I was riding up was convinced he could make it hand over hand to the tower and then down the ladder. At first I thought he was messing around, but he said he had done it before and it wasn't really that big of a deal. Finally I think he is actually serious, and at that moment the lift starts running again.

[Dr. Gaper]

Freakin' yuppie dink yahoo at Loveland (with a full protective getup for the one run that was open) told me how much Loveland sucks and he only skis there until Vail opens.

I pushed him off the chair and told him to never fucking come back.

[Core Shot]

"I'm a cop, you might want to stop doing that!"

A similar related quote from the same Sublette Chair (second hand from a reliable source):

Pepi Stiegler: "You boys. Don't smoke that shit on MY lift. Go smoke that shit in the woods"

[Baconzoo]

Pepi busted the head of the Snowboard school in the woods smoking and he lost his pass for the season.

[nesta]

A long time ago at Whistler Mtn. I was riding up the Little Red chair with an amiable sort who I found out was originally from Poland but had immigrated to Canada and was up for the day from Vancouver. We chatted about the weather and such for a while and then, as we passed Gun 1 (avalauncher tower), he turned to me and asked " is that where they store the meat? " I had to have him repeat the question as I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly, and then after chuckling to myself for what seemed like 10 minutes I explained to him that's where they occasionally trigger avalanches from, no meat involved.

[acostiga]

what i didn't hear someone talking about while on the lift: raising the bar

when someone unexpectedly raises the heavy, metal chairlift bar into your face (specifically, your mouth) it hurts.... particularly when the temps are sub-zero and the bar chips off a piece of your tooth. mmm... pain.

[FRP]

last year at Breck: Two girls, from texas, complaining that the safter bar was stuck down and getting scared that they couldn't raise it in time. Their feet were on the footrests so they couldn;t lift it.

[Woodsy]

no chairlifts yet for me but classic quote from the TGR premeir in SLC this year.
I am at the bar gettting a cocktail, dood saddles up next to me and I am checking out his zip up track suit old school styled new smith sweatshirt.

him:'pretty sweet jacket huh"
me: yeah, pretty cool"
him: " yeah, I'm sponsored "

so I stand there waiting for the other shoe to drop, ironic smile, eye roll, something. but nope, he just pulls on his redbull and vodka and nods to him self.
classic.

[Schmear]

Rode the chair with a couple of headband-wearing dudes who looked like aggro Marker-ad models from the '90s. It's about 11 am. One looks at his watch and presses some buttons, the other asks in a puffy voice, "How much vertical we got so far?"

[Buster Highmen]

Rode the chair with a couple of headband-wearing dudes who looked like aggro Marker-ad models from the '90s. It's about 11 am. One looks at his watch and presses some buttons, the other asks in a puffy voice, "How much vertical we got so far?"

You rode the chair with Endless?

[yooper]

JH gondola last February:

Rich woman to instructor: (rich snob accent) "Sooo..... where did you reside prior to Jackson?"

Instructor: I'm originally from Ohio, but I taught in Telluride the last several seasons.

Woman: Ahhhh, yes..... Telllll U Riiide.... My husband and I love it. What a lovely little village. We were actually there over Christmas. Then we had a non ski vacation in London. And we had a trip to Austria where we mixed business with a tiny bit of pleasure.....

(long lull in the conversation.... no one seems impressed)

Woman: Have you skied The Amphitheater? It is simply exquisite!

[powder11]

my last lift ride was july 4th on the showcase t-bar when 99.9% of the glacier is infested with camp kids. the 9yr old kid I rode up with asked me what camp I was in. I told him I wasn't in a camp. the little bastard replied "you look to old to be in a camp"

[Clack]

lat year, March 31st at Alta (you all remember that shit) some guy i was talking to on the lift....i told him i drove out from vail, CO and he proceeded to tell me how he liked Vail alot more than alta cause they had better groomers and restaraunts...

what the hell?

[canned response] That's what the guy likes. Who cares? Does this thread make you more core, and everyone's affirmations make you feel better about how rad you are? [/cr]

Just fucking with ya'll. My avatar likes resorts with good pizza and skiing video games in the lodge. And I too am the most extreme skier in my office.

[uglymoney]

The last two times I have been to Vail, once on opening day when I left for Loveland because the lines were insane:

Woman standing at the back of a two hour long liftline telling someone, "Vail, its the best skiing, the best dining, the best architecture"

Upon being overheard discussing and then leaving the two hour long liftline for a much shorter drive to Loveland for what ended up being a great day of skiing we were loudly scoffed at by a bunch of gapers for departing the misery. That was a classic. Later heard from numerous folks that the day was in fact, worse than even a normal Vail day.

Fast forward a couple years to last winter. Vail, opening day. Actually a pretty good day other than the fact that all the powder was skied out by 11 and the back bowls were burning from first tracks. On lift with friend and an older seemingly wealthy couple, after short discussion on the day, woman declares, "Vail, its the best of the best"

Hmm...

[chaka]

I grew up skiing taos a lot with my dad. We teamed up with dude in a 10-gallon cowboy hat, single digit weather, in a sweet pink and yellow and black one piece, to fill a triple.

Dad: "Hi"
One-Piece : "Wulllllllll.... how thua heyyyyllll arrrreee yoooo dooinnnn?"
Dad: "Visiting from Dallas?"
One-Piece : "Wulllll.... how thua heYYYllll did yewwww know thayhut?
Dad: "lucky guess"

[chaka]

One more. I was at Alpine Meadows a few seasons ago, a friend and I sharing Summit Six with a few others, one of which had snow blades on.

Me: "how do you get any edge control on firm snow with those?"
Sno Blade : "I used to be an expert skier, and I definitely feel like I have more control on steep icy slopes with these than with a longer ski"

[Benny Profane]

Pepi Stiegler: "You boys. Don't smoke that shit on MY lift. Go smoke that shit in the woods"

Bwaaaaa.....perfect.

Not realy a quote, but I was getting on a lift at Deer Valley 7-8 years ago with the ex, and realized I was a chair behind Stein. (hair was friggin perfect, all the latest Bogner, but, damn, he looked good [at first, I thought he was a well kept older woman - benny's mind was being fucked with]). Decided to follow him with well kept older couple he was riding with - hey, ski with Stein!- but he proceeded to lead them on a real estate tour of ski/out properties. good lord.

[Hugh Jass]

OK. Time for an update.

Riding Vista Bahn up the front side of Vail with the missus. We don't know Vail for shit, and have a map out to look at the lay of the land. Dude sharing our chair proceeds to drop all kinds of knowledge on us, including the following:

"Definitely head back to Blue Sky Basin. It's basically lift-served backcountry."

(BWA!)

"When you're on the chair to Blue Sky, turn around and check out the Back Bowls. You won't see anything else like it in all of North America."

The wife actually laughed at him.

[ubertele]

Some guy asked me where they put the moguls in the summer.

Wait, that wasn't me.

Had some guys ask us the same thing up in Jackson. None of us could stop laughing long enough to come up with a response. It was hilarious.

[trouble]

Riding up jersey cream with an 8 year old kid, he points at my gotamas, "those are fat skis, but my dad's are fatter"

[bigtrubs]

On blackcomb gondola last weekend-

Man in Fartbag: I had THREE collisions yesterday!

[Below Zero]

Riding up jersey cream with an 8 year old kid, he points at my gotamas, "those are fat skis, but my dad's are fatter"

I laughed!

[A-wreck]

Nothing quite like skiing deep powder in Michigan, yeeeeeeeup, doesn't get any beter than this.