windows xp help

[acostiga]

i scanned search results and didn't come up with anything that was helping, and my urge to kill is quickly rising.... please help!

so my girlfriend's laptop isn't working. i have no idea what she did, or how she did it, but i'll do my best to describe the present scenario.

her computer (gateway laptop, less than a year old) is turned off.

i press the "on" button. the thing starts to whirl, goes past a gray screen that has some mumbo-jumbo about gateway and whatnot... and eventually the screen shows a blue background and a "Log On to Windows" prompt/box.

yes, i have heard of the "blue screen of death". that was what would prompt the tech services guys from my last job in corporate/cubicle land to come up from their office with a new computer to replace the old computer. she tells me that she's never chosen a user name or password, and just always presses the "enter" key at this stage of the game.

(as i'm typing all of this on my desktep, her computer is on my lap. the little hourglass thingy just popped up next to the cursor then went away, and the blinking prompt thingy in the box where a password should be entered is blinking. the blinking thing stopped blinking, and now has started blinking again.)

oh gosh, i feel like a helpless fool. so i'm going to now press the "enter" key just as she has told me she's always done in the past....

nothing happens. the blinking thingy in the password box dissapears, but nothing happens. i can move the arrow on the screen around with the computer's touchpad... but can't click on anything because it's all seemingly unresponsive.

oooh, as i've been typing all of this and then going back over the post to edit things and whatnot, the screen just changed. the entire "Log On to Windows" prompt/box just dissapeared. wait, the log on sequence just started happening and that stupid windows theme just played. the desktop image is up, as are the desktop icons!!! her computer is running stupidly slow though.

i'm trying to open the norton anti-virus thing that i see she has on the toolbar at the bottom of her screen. shit, the thing just had one of those errors that i can choose to send a report about or not send a report about. i'll pass, in order that my bad news doesn't ruin breakfast for those microsoft folks in seattle or wherever.

ooh, the thing is starting to run more quickly. i'm going to open IE and get a copy of adaware on her computer.... and eventually get her firefox.

i think things are going to be alright, and i am going to look like a computer wizard.

thanks for your help.

[nealric]

Hit f8 repeatedly as its booting. It should give you a prompt about safe mode. Choose safemode.

When it gets to safe mode it will prompt you to do a system restore- select the day before the problem happened.

If that dosent work, post back.

[BakerBoy]

Was that a TR?

[acostiga]

it's a TR in progress, i guess.

i'm still waiting for the adaware thing to run, which is taking forever. maybe she was searching for weiner porn and somehow messed up her computer? i can't wait to see. i'm lucky that no girl i've ever dated has been computer savy enough to do much more than turn the thing on and use it to IM friends... not that i ever look at anything inappropriate now that i am in a long-term relationship. pshaw.

if this shit works out, and the adaware cleans up her computer, and the thing starts running at a normal pace.... well, the trip report will have to include the reward portion of this entire endeavor.

is it weiner porn or a weiner porn virus that would cause her system to run so slowly?

[Sphinx]

Porn of any kind definitely slows systems down. Windows has a built in porn detectors that automatically eats up CPU power. It's like going blind from maturbation, only in a digital sense.

[BakerBoy]

Poll time:

Would you be more worried if...

A) She was looking at weiner porn...

or

B) She was looking at lesbian porn...

options C thru Z include everything from gay men shitting on each other to midget lesbian sheep. But we'll leave them out for now.

[acostiga]

poll time? yeah, that's what i was hoping i'd be getting down to once i fixed her fucking computer problem. but, no dice. i don't know if there is any porn on the thing or not. the adaware scan kind of froze, and i waited for about an hour for it to go further until i lost my patience. then i ran a search and destroy program that i remember reading about around these parts, and it identified and destroyed a few things that probably weren't good... but didn't indicate porn viewing of any type. and if i had to choose, i really wouldn't care either way. i suppose it'd be best-case if her taste in porn was the opposite of mine. thanks for giving me something else unpleasant to think about while i try not to smash her fucking laptop piece of shit into a million pieces.

well, i deleted off all of the aol crap that was on her machine and got her a copy of firefox. the IE shit is still on there, just hidden away. her gateway looks like it came loaded up with so much bullshit when she bought it that some of the shit is just taking up space and totally useless.

when i restarted the computer, in order for my changes to aol and such to take effect, a 'symantec user solution' notification popped up. something about a necessary file that could not be loaded...

C:\PROGRA~1\NORTON~1\STATUSHP.DLL

what the fuck is this shit? for a while, i was thinking that i had this situation all locked down and then i'd proceed into the bedroom to reap the benefits of helping my girlfriend's computer situation out. well, she went to bed a while ago and the light has been turned off. computer nerds don't get much action, do they? i'm still stitting here fucking around with her fucking computer and it still took about four minutes to get from the windows log on screen to the fucking desktop stuff.... and there is this goddamn norton message.

thank you, technology, for making me appear ineffective in the eyes of my woman and for this goddamn cock-block.

can somebody help me feel less stupid than i already feel?

[nealric]

to get rid of the norton message (at least temporarily) type "msconfig" under the run menu.

Deselect anything norton. While your at it, uncheck anything that looks remotely suspicious.

[acostiga]

fucking hell! so i'm up until 3:30am yesterday, trying to get things on her computer in order. when i finally threw in the towel, things were looking alright and i was confident.

i awaken to her out of the apartment, and a note. she doesn't recognize the screen on the computer? what??? i had left the computer running last night, with the MSPaint thing open. yeah, i had drawn her a cute little picture. i'm corny like that.

anyhow, i go over to the thing and open up the laptop. there is a black screen now, with the following message/words:

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Intel UNDI, PXE-2.0 (build 002)
Copyright (C) 1997-2000 Intel Corporation

For Realtek RTL8139(X)/8130/810X PCI Fast Ethernet Controller v2.13 (020326)

CLIENT MAC ADDR: 00 03 25 A0 78 GUID: 0019953B-0010-A152-0070A053107A9 PXE-E53: No boot filename received

PXE-M0F: Exiting PXE ROM.
No Operating System Found

------------------------------------------------------------------------

what the fuck is going on? is the computer toast? what can i do to help out the situation and climb out of the darkness of my ignorance???

(i think i'm going to cry soon)

[teosickrider]

Insert the windows xp disc into the computer before it boots..if the boot sequence is right already it'll boot from the cd automatically8or you'll have to change it in the bios,and set cd or dvd device before hd!!).You'll be able to choose among many options..one of these is "repair windows" or something like that.Then Follow instructions!!!Let us know...

[teosickrider]

Oh yeah..and if you manage to repair that...never use norton again!!!
You can try this...
www.antivir-pe.de/en
it's completely free and better than norton...basically every antivirus on this planet is better than norton...

[mattgilberg]

HEY COSTIGAN WHATS UP!!!!! i cant believe u forgot that one of ur ex-students is a computer nerd, the "PXE" thing is just the computer trying to boot from the network card. there should be an option on the computer while loading to change the boot order (via the delete key, f4, etc.) to enter into the bios setup. once in there you should be able to navigate to a menu that has something to do with thew boot sequence. make sure that the hard disk boots before the network card/pxe boot. any questions or you in need of a walkthrough, just email me at mattgilberg@gmail.com.