Autotrain!

[m2711c]

they said it was gonna cost me $2500 to ship my 1958 2cv Fourgonette froom Bradenton to teh upstates. fuck that bullshit. definetly to far to be driving an unknown quantity in the three days i would have off. was gonna fly down and rent a truck from avis and a trailer from uhual but the partner put the kibosh on that idea real quick...
so what to do? fuckin Amtrak to teh rescue!

just gotta get from bradenton to sanford, then from DC to teh upsatets. should be doable.
step one? trip to the DMV for the appropriate paperworks. the usual excessive lineup and wait was exprienced...

[m2711c]

then off ta bed cause i gotta be up at the buttcrack of dawn for the schlep down to tampa via Hotlanta...

[m2711c]

out of the airport and into that fuckin horrendous florida heats an humidities... fuck that shit.
quickstop at P-Mans Cycle shop to meet up with good dude chad.

[m2711c]

then off on a side quest for a while. great aunt margaret listened to that golden throat-ed southern swindler and picked herself up three sweet parcels of only the finest of florida swamp land back in '38. she had big plans for them and talked endlessly of them right up till her untimely death a the age of 93... nobody from the family had laid eyes on it and after 87 years of us payin taxes on them fuckin parcel, i figured that the time had come to claim what was ours. quick check of glades county gis for the exact location of paradise, and we were off!

[m2711c]

had to park bout a mile anna half away to avoid occupied lands, and then the fuckin suffer fest began... jeezus fuckin christ florida heats and humitites just sucks.

Fact.







dead nutz center of of our slice of paradise!!


turns out some motherfucks runnin cattle cross our land. WTF? heard someone yellin at me off in the distance and could see the dust trail of pickup comin out to see what the fuck we was doin so, time to hightail it outta there and get back to the main mission.

[m2711c]

back on task, it was time to head to the mariposa nursery to pick up my 2cv... the place was absolutely hudge!

[m2711c]

all the way in the back, next to the massive villa that is his home, is the museum of everyday french cars that Francois has spent the last 40 years collecting. he had planned to open it upon his retirement from breeding palm trees, but when the gubmint told him he was gonna hafta install some ADA compliant bathrooms he said fuck that shit and decided to sell off his collection, starting with my 1958 2cv Fourgonette. he figured on getting 25-30 grand for it and was quite disappointed with my measly $10500 winning bid.

the museum alone was worth the hassle of buying and transporting this white elephant. the place was amazing. dude has his own full time mechanic workin hard ta keep this shit in top notch shape in a fuckin sweet shop totally kitted out all the proper tools.

[m2711c]

the collection was an amazing array of mostly vintage french working class vehicles...














younger cousin of my Fourgonette.











































and a triumph...

[m2711c]

gots a wine bar in the hoity toity section too...

[m2711c]

asked ol francois what his retirement plans were now that the gubmint done ruined his museum and he tells me hes gonna go cruise the desert southwest in this thing...








asked if he was worried about overheating in that old beast.

nope, he said...

[m2711c]

he takes us to his buddies french restaurant so he could commiserate with his countryman about the paltry monetary compensation he recieved for his fine 2cv over multiple bottle of champagne and exquisite egg sandwiches. dude got positively schnockered. it was quite amusing... tasty too. fact.

[m2711c]

meanwhile,back at the ranch... 3rd tornado in three years. wtf?













tehupstates is gettin downright hazardous.


fact.

[Djongo Unchained]

Outstanding TR.
Holee fuk, that TR 250 is crying out to me.

Fucking Florida is brutalissimo this time of year.

[m2711c]

after them tasty egg and tiny bubbles we went back to the nursery to load up the Fourgonette for the ride to sanford. figured that was safer than trying to drive a 57 years old air cooled car for 5 hours in 98 degree heats and total humidities.





got her over ta sanford to spend the night. tomorrow we ride the rails!




up early for the schlep over ta teh station.

[m2711c]

first in line for fresh tracks... as usual.



fact.





trying to write coherent starting instructions in the removable front/picnic seat as i ponder over the infinite number of ways this could end poorly.





check in time.





seems paul blart is on the amtrak beat now...



all my worries were needless as they sent out the oldest dude they had and he had it started right up before i even got to point out where the choke was. the younger guys were all grumbling bout how old dude always got to drive the fun stuff.





such a deal!



17 hours in the sleeper car roomette.

[m2711c]

time to head up fer teh dinners.










the steak was very good, but them fuckin fake potatoes were an insult to irshmen worldwide... i wrote a strongly worded letter of protest to the transportation department. i am still waiting for my apology.

[m2711c]

almost there.



time to slay that bathroom...


fact.

[m2711c]

leisurely disembarking as we have to wait for the cars to unload.




motorcycles offloaded first.


they send that tractor along on the train too.

things were moving smoothly right up until they were not. cars stopped coming off. i asked if they were having trouble starting my car and offered to help. but they dismissed my concerns telling me not to worry. them sending the whole crew back in at that same time did nothing to assuage my fears.



and neither did this. They Killed Her!



turns out, them chuckleheads never bothered to read the perfectly coherent notes i left them on the proper starting procedures. as a result, the battery cutoff switch was never turned on. had her fired up and layin rubber before they could ask how i did it.

FKNA!

[m2711c]

met up with the missus with the avis rent a truck and our u-haul car haulin deck in the shopping center parking lot across the street. had her loaded up and ready to go in record time.





all ready to hit that lovely D.C. rush hour traffic, but..... seems the missus was to afeared to leave the rentals whilst she peed so she had to hit the head for a quick pee.


an hour an fifteen minutes later we were on the road.

[m2711c]

notice the straps were gittin a little too loose fer comfort, so i pulled off the highway into the closets parking lot to snug em up. this thing was just sittin there with no one around...













signed by the fuckin King?
unreal...



almost enough to make you forget all about this beauty hangin out on the other side of the lot.



life is so fuckin random... fact.

[m2711c]

25 hours after boardin that train we pull into the driveway happy to be back in teh upstates where i belong...




only damage being a broken headlight glass retaining clip that I already had a spare for.

t

the whole thing went way smoother then i ever thought possible for someone with the luck of the irish hounding him day and night.



fact.

[m2711c]

Francois gives the basics of 2cv operations.

[up an down]

Vive la France

[Djongo Unchained]

Strong work mag, what a trip.

That Superbird is 7 levels of cool. I wonder if the fender reverse hood scoops were to let heat out of the engine bay.

The randomness of a minty Lime GTX with a seemingly unconnected lime green truck behind it, caught my eye. Nothing pulls ya into the danger zone like driving a muscle car.