Chicken Refugee

[Twoplanker]

Yesterday, when I got home from work, there was a rooster in my backyard. Inexplicable and unexplained. The only thing I know about chickens is what KFC taught me.

He's suprisingly cool for a chicken. Kind of a golden color.

He doesn't have any tags or a collar and doesn't respond to commands (e.g., sit, stay, rollover) even when I say it like Foghorn Leghorn (e.g., "I say, I say, I say... SIT). Nothing.

I don't know what the fuck chickens eat... chicken feed? I don't even know what that is.

He wouldn't eat Apple Jacks and he looked downright pissed off when I gave him Cocoa Crispies. So I fed him some tortilla chips (which he dug) so I'm assuming he's a Mexican chicken.

So what should I do with this refugee chicken?

[Buster Highmen]

Ask Frozen

[Mrs Roo]

I smell curry

[Viva]

Chickens will eat mice, so if you've a mouse problem, then perhaps it was meant to be.

[sftc]

Beer Can Chicken: Great on the Grill
From author Steven Raichlen


Method: Indirect grilling

Special Equipment: 1 1/2 cups mesquite chips, soaked in cold water to cover for 1 hour and drained

Ingredients

1 large whole chicken (4 to 5 pounds)
3 tablespoons Basic Rub for Barbecue or your favorite dry barbecue rub
1 can (12 ounces) beer

Directions

1. Remove and discard the fat just inside the body cavities of the chicken. Remove the package of giblets, and set aside for another use. Rinse the chicken, inside and out, under cold running water. then drain and blot dry, inside and out, with paper towels. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon of the rub inside the body and neck cavities, then rub another 1 tablespoon all over the skin of the bird. If you wish, rub another 1/2 tablespoon of the mixture between the flesh and skin. Cover and refrigerate the chicken while you preheat the grill.

2. Set up the grill for indirect grilling, placing a drip pan in the center. If using a charcoal grill, preheat it to medium. If using a gas grill, place all the wood chips in the smoker box and preheat the grill to high; then, when smoke appears, lower the heat to medium.


3. Pop the tab on the beer can. Using a "church key"-style can opener , make 6 or 7 holes in the top of the can. Pour out the top inch of beer, then spoon the remaining dry rub through the holes into the beer. Holding the chicken upright, with the opening of the body cavity down, insert the beer can into the cavity.

4. When ready to cook, if using charcoal, toss half the wood chips on the coals. Oil grill grate. Stand the chicken up in the center of the hot grate, over the drip pan. Spread out the legs to form a sort of tripod, to support the bird.

5. Cover the grill and cook the chicken, until fall-off-the-bone tender, 2 hours. If using charcoal, add 10 to 12 fresh coals per side and the remaining chips after 1 hour.

6. Using tongs, lift the bird to a cutting board or platter, holding a large metal spatula underneath the beer can for support. (Have the board or platter right next to the bird to make the move shorter. Be careful not to spill hot beer on yourself.) Let stand for 5 minutes before carving the meat off the upright carcass. (Toss the beer can out along with the carcass).

Serves: 4 to 6

[Monique]

Send it to me, I have too much work right now and need an assistant.

Wait, strike that. Perhaps prepare the beer can recipe in answer to the recurring complaint on this board: so many mags, so few "hot chicks."

[Twoplanker]

I really can't kill or eat the chicken.

My 3 year old son has named him Bob.

[Beaver]

1. Remove and discard the fat just inside the body cavities of the chicken. Remove the package of giblets, a

My chickens never have packets of giblets. They have guts and organs and feathers but no packages of giblets. Are they like young Jibbers?

6. Using tongs,

Paging TongHands.

[Beaver]

Chickens eat bugs, mice, flowers, seeds, basically anything but sugar. If you have a garden and a chicken you can use it to de seed the garden area after you harvest your veggies. While trying to grow anything you will want to fence it awway from the chicken. If you live in town the authorities will probably eventually show up and take your cock away. There are usually bylaaws about livestock within city limits. If he doesn't cockadoodledo yet he is still young. Best to eat him soon.

[snowsprite]

I think Bob would like to eat lots of little grubs, earthworms, and bread crumbs.

OMG how exciting! This is a sign from heaven. DO NOT eat this chicken. This chicken is your oracle, trust me.

Now would you please ask him a question for me... When I go off the deep and, will it happen here in the cube or will the snapping will take place on my commute home? I was always curious about that.

And also, why does my lava lamp taste like mint?

Thanks!

Sprite

[Vinman]

how do you know its a rooster? did you lift up his feathers and check?

[gincognito]

the authorities will probably eventually show up and take your cock away.

I live in fear of this.

Sick and ashamed and happy (and keeping a low profile),
d.

[Big E]

And also, why does my lava lamp taste like mint?

Why are you tasting your lava lamp?

[irul&ublo]

And also, why does my lava lamp taste like mint?

Thanks!

Sprite

Could it be that new flavored K-Y?

[Twoplanker]

how do you know its a rooster? did you lift up his feathers and check?

No, but he has a red "comb" on his head and a red dangler 'neath his beak. Doesn't that make it a Bob and not a Barbara?

[snowsprite]

Could it be that new flavored K-Y?

Tsk tsk...everyone tottering on the brink of mind-numbing-boredom-induced insanity knows that lava lamps are filled with tasty wax that makes a good snak.

Wow...They make flavored K-Y now? How do you know irul?

Sprite

Edit: Hey, don't be inspecting that bird's red dangler. Or at least don't be telling us about it.

[Beaver]

No, but he has a red "comb" on his head and a red dangler 'neath his beak. Doesn't that make it a Bob and not a Barbara?

Usually but not necessarily. If it crows it's a cock.

[Cornholio]

If you sell it, you'll be a real cockmonger.

[lemon boy]

Someone has given you dinner dude. Tell your son that bob probably flew off and that tonight's chicken dinner is to celebrate his legacy with your family.

BTW- free range chicken = the best you'll eat.

[irul&ublo]

[crashnburn'd]

Train it to cockfight. Since so many people on here cockfight, you should be able to hire someone as a coach.

[Beaver]

It's real easy to kill/clean a chicken. If you want detailed in structions let me know and I'll type some up.

[mista]

Refugee?

You have a foreign cock in your back yard... and you learnt about this in KFC?

I'm not from the states, do you think I'd score some back door action if I come over and go fast food shopping?

[gorms]

We had a refugee peacock chillin on our roof and front porch for a couple of weeks. He was lightly fed and we left some water around for him. Quite a neat decoration auctually. Eventually he was "rescued" by his clumsy owner with some big nets and broguht back to his home...we really liked him, but the neighbors pugs were very freaked out.

[rightcoast]

Id keep him for sure. Figure out what he likes to eat, give him some water, maybe a litle lean-to for shelter, and let your son hang out with him.
Im actually a little jealous of you.