Fuck skiing in the Alps in mid-December. Go to Trollhaugen ! It will be in prime condition by then, join up with the maggot crew, we absolutely dominate that place. Lifts keep spinning until 3am on Friday nights with live punk bands playing. I can’t think of a better place to honeymoon.
Spa day for your lady is totally doable as well. There is a Vietnamese nail salon in the strip mall over in St. Croix Falls.
"Zee damn fat skis are ruining zee piste !" -Oscar Schevlin
"Hike up your skirt and grow a dick you fucking crybaby" -what Bunion said to Harry at the top of The Headwaters
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