Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

**Benny Profane** · 08-11-2021, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by TBS

I call dibs on the worldwide video rights to this event

You got em, I'll take the streaming.

**BmillsSkier** · 08-11-2021, 08:12 PM

This has me thinking. I’d be curious to hear, Mag by Mag, people post up one animal, or animals as the case may be, that they think they could take.

**TBS** · 08-11-2021, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by Benny Profane

You got em, I'll take the streaming.

My rights include all video of SUF in combat, by whatever means of distribution.

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

This has me thinking. I’d be curious to hear, Mag by Mag, people post up one animal, or animals as the case may be, that they think they could take.

If by “take” you mean fight them to submission without weapons, then based on experience
- 30 lb dog (in defense)
- Canada goose (live capture)

**BmillsSkier** · 08-11-2021, 08:36 PM

Originally Posted by TBS

My rights include all video of SUF in combat, by whatever means of distribution.

If by “take” you mean fight them to submission without weapons, then based on experience
- 30 lb dog (in defense)
- Canada goose (live capture)

Correct. No weapons. No performance enhancing drugs.

And fuck Canada Geese.

**TBS** · 08-11-2021, 08:46 PM

The goose (3 to be precise) capture was a college fraternity mission.
I don’t consider a shitload of tequila and a bunch of weed to be PEDs, and we wore gloves but were otherwise unarmed.

The trick is to grab them just under the chin with one hand and the front of one wing with the other.

**Vt-Freeheel** · 08-11-2021, 08:49 PM

I think we found the challenger

**Core Shot** · 08-11-2021, 08:51 PM

A few months ago, I was cornered by a pit bull that I thought was locked in his cage.
Back to the wall. Looking for a maul or any heavy object. None nearby. Was expecting to have to choke that bastard to death. Heart racing.
Fortunately he let me slowly slide away.
Fuck that dog. Not friendly.

My mom has two cats. One not friendly. I’m pretty sure I could win that fight though.

**Toadman** · 08-11-2021, 09:29 PM

Everyone's got a plan until they have their face ripped off by a chimp.

**Benny Profane** · 08-11-2021, 10:16 PM

Originally Posted by TBS

My rights include all video of SUF in combat, by whatever means of distribution.

Who are you, Colonel Parker? Better deliver with those terms.

Besides, the IOC will beat you to it. I hear they need ratings.

**MakersTeleMark** · 08-11-2021, 10:20 PM

I've had my face ripped off and body rolled by a pit. I'm sticking to resident heron fighter.

**abraham** · 08-11-2021, 10:27 PM

Has nobody mention that a chimp would steal SUF's face?

Originally Posted by MakersTeleMark

I've had my face ripped off and body rolled by a pit. I'm sticking to resident heron fighter.

I met an ornithologist who got speared by a heron. He had the beak pass through between the metacarpals.

**Skidog** · 08-11-2021, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by TBS

My rights include all video of SUF in combat, by whatever means of distribution.

If by “take” you mean fight them to submission without weapons, then based on experience
- 30 lb dog (in defense)
- Canada goose (live capture)

Seems dead on

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**Skidog** · 08-11-2021, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

Correct. No weapons. No performance enhancing drugs.

And fuck Canada Geese.

Seriously. Why do they even exist? We have ducks and swans...they bother nobody .. geese? Fuckers stand their ground and look scary.

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**Skidog** · 08-11-2021, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Toadman

Everyone's got a plan until they have their face ripped off by a chimp.

Somehow this seems racist? Maybe I'm off base?

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**subtle plague** · 08-12-2021, 12:56 AM

Originally Posted by Skidog

Somehow this seems racist? Maybe I'm off base?

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Wouldn't it be speciest? (How do i make it an adjective?)

And cage fights are woke as fuck! Portland has an antifa vegan tiger battle arena. Built by Texan taxpayers.

**Art Shirk** · 08-12-2021, 12:56 AM

Originally Posted by BmillsSkier

The Einhorn of the ape world?

Solid

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**dan_pdx** · 08-12-2021, 01:37 AM

I feel confident I could take a chihuahua, though my ankles might sustain bites in the process. I would bow out if the opponent was a house cat though, those things are vicious.

**subtle plague** · 08-12-2021, 02:40 AM

I think I could take on a Dodo. With a bat. If it is given pcp.

**riser4** · 08-12-2021, 05:55 AM

A buddy's pitbull was latched on to his neighbor's pitbull. Buddy's other pitbull was in the mix. Buddy got bitten. Kicking the dog in the ribs wasn't even noticed while it was locked on. Grabbing the collar and pulling was what did the trick. Point is, the only reason I was able to get anywhere was that the dog was distracted. I could not take on a pitbull barehanded from the front.

**riser4** · 08-12-2021, 05:58 AM

Originally Posted by subtle plague

I think I could take on a Dodo. With a bat. If it is given pcp.

Normally one sees bats when on serious drugs. You're saying give the drugs to the bat instead? Interesting.

**JimmyCarter** · 08-12-2021, 06:32 AM

https://www.reddit.com/r/natureismet...tm_name=iossmf

Yeah, I’m not fucking with a chimpanzee

**ill-advised strategy** · 08-12-2021, 07:20 AM

I had a mean dog charge me at the beach a few years ago when I was barefoot. My only move was to go in the water.

Once I was in the water I was pretty sure I could wreck that dog, not barefoot on land though.

**subtle plague** · 08-12-2021, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by riser3

Normally one sees bats when on serious drugs. You're saying give the drugs to the bat instead? Interesting.

No. I give the Pcp to the dodo. And I have a bat. Or me and the dodo habe a bat. I don't care.

SUF can train with the dodo if he wants to. So they both get used to the powers of Pcp.

**I Skied Bandini Mountain** · 08-12-2021, 07:32 AM

My wife was a dog trainer slash dog walker for a while. She's always said she'd take on any Doberman before a Jack Russell. Jack Russell terriers are the spawn of the devil.