Poll: How many of you idiots think you could kill a gorilla?

[Falcon3]

Why does everybody keep talking about their Primary Care Provider?

You get your face ripped off I don’t think your PCP is gonna help, you need a trauma ward and then a facial reconstruction plastic surgeon.

[BmillsSkier]

My wife was a dog trainer slash dog walker for a while. She's always said she'd take on any Doberman before a Jack Russell. Jack Russell terriers are the spawn of the devil.

But they had one on Frasier!

[Self Jupiter]

swans...they bother nobody ..

Son of vicious swan 'Mr Asbo' is even WORSE as he attacks rowers and tourists

The fowl fiend, nicknamed Asboy, targets tourists as they row and punt on the city’s famous Backs.

His dad, Mr Asbo, was moved to a secret location by the river authorities two years ago and had his wings clipped to stop him returning after he repeatedly attacked and bit rowers.


Mary Samuels, 67, who lives near the river, said many believed Asboy was now worse than his dad, attacking any boat which gets too close and flying into families.

At their last meeting the river authorities, The Cam Conservators, also revealed the bad tempered bird had attacked a canoeist and a swimmer.

She said: “We thought things would settle down when they removed Mr Asbo, but his son is worse.”

She added: “I don’t think it will be long before someone is really injured.”

John Gale, 45, from Cambridge, said: “He’s the most vicious swan I have ever seen. When I was punting with my family he stuck his neck in the boat and hissed and pecked at us,” said

“I even saw him trying to bite through the chains which tether the punts to the wall of the river.”

One punt operator said: “People are even more interested in taking photos of him than King’s College.”

The Cam Conservators moved Mr Asbo to an undisclosed location about 60 miles away in 2012 because they said his behaviour was risking the safety of river users as well as himself.

His behaviour left dozens of rowers with cuts and bruises and a special marshall even had to be employed during a university rowing race to prevent him from injuring the students.

[JayPowHound]

Yall best stop talking trash about Canada gooses or you might have a real fight on your hands..

[Meadow Skipper]

And that’s just a 20 pound monkey

Yeah, but the guy in that video probably doesn’t even weigh 130 lbs. Or have a plan.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

No. I give the Pcp to the dodo. And I have a bat. Or me and the dodo habe a bat. I don't care.

SUF can train with the dodo if he wants to. So they both get used to the powers of Pcp.

I thought Dodos were extinct?


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[Benny Profane]

Son of vicious swan 'Mr Asbo' is even WORSE as he attacks rowers and tourists

They are considered an invasive species in Westchester. There is actually a sort of secret program to control their population by shaking their eggs. They just move in and take over large bodies of water, and no other birds come near, they are such bad asses. Helps keep the damn Canadian geese gang banging down, though, which is good, because they don't walk around on golf courses and in parks shitting everywhere.

[subtle plague]

I thought Dodos were extinct?


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I fought the last one in 1712. Together with wooley.
That's how I know I'd win....if it took pcp.

[TG]

casual reminder

[MagnificentUnicorn]

casual reminder

It’s like he was pulling a beach towel


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[Toadman]

Somehow this seems racist? Maybe I'm off base?

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Maybe I should have said primate?

[Cono Este]

Honey Badger is indestructible.

https://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg


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[abraham]

Yeah, but the guy in that video probably doesn’t even weigh 130 lbs. Or have a plan.

It’s like he was pulling a beach towel


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SUF is a big boy though, it'll be a little more like dragging a comforter.

[bendtheski]

Polls (still) don't work on the app (that hasn't been updated in forever)

But fuck taking on any other primate in a hand-to-hand fight. Those things are vicious. No thanks!

This should be enough evidence for anyone:

Ugh, that was hard to listen to. One of the hardest things about 9-1-1 is trying to give assurances about something you have no control over.

[dan_pdx]

SUF is a big boy though, it'll be a little more like dragging a comforter.

I lol'd. Had to look up what a silverback gorilla weighs because strength is only part of the equation - you need some mass to drag a person like that. They go like 400-450 pounds. Yeah, I'm going to pass, thanks. I'll stick to killing gorillas the old-fashioned way, with deforestation, poaching, and climate change.

[Toadman]

Honey Badger is indestructible.

https://youtu.be/4r7wHMg5Yjg


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I have seen a lot of different animals over the course of my bike riding exploits. By far the coolest was when I had a badger cross my path on a ride up to Mt. Bachelor. He was huffing and puffing as he crossed the road. I could tell he meant biz. All I kept thinking was, please don't come at me bro.

[dan_pdx]

I have seen a lot of different animals over the course of my bike riding exploits. By far the coolest was when I had a badger cross my path on a ride up to Mt. Bachelor. He was huffing and puffing as he crossed the road. I could tell he meant biz. All I kept thinking was, please don't come at me bro.

I don't know squat about badgers, so looked them up on YT. Yeah, seems they're pretty gangster: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc8tidOjhUY

[CarlMega]

casual reminder

Sure, but does that Ranger do Pilates or even Advanced Pilates? Didn't even see one Burpee attempt to break free.

[TBS]

Yeah, but the guy in that video probably doesn’t even weigh 130 lbs. Or have a plan.

I think his plan was that the monkey would run away after he threw the shoe…
He just didn’t know he was up against the Conor McGregor of monkeys

[stealurface831]

if there was such thing as a 200 pound wolverine, it would fuck anything up. fact.

[::: :::]

Where do you stand?

a little bit behind and away from my slower friend

[Timberridge]

if there was such thing as a 200 pound wolverine, it would fuck anything up. fact.

How so? It wouldn't be able to fucking move.

[stealurface831]

It wouldn't be able to fucking move.

i'm not talking bout a 200 pounder on a regular wolverine frame. i'm talking a scaled up version.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

if there was such thing as a 200 pound wolverine, it would fuck anything up. fact.

Would your imaginary 200# Wolverine fuck up a 200# ant? If there was such a thing.


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[Timberridge]

Well then I'll take a 200# bullet ant vs. your wolverine.