Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[406]

Bad side: both kids and my wife have agreed I should start snowboarding as I'm too good on skis (I spend a lot of time practicing my switch skiing).

You could Telemark, at least then you would burn some calories and get exercise. Plus can typically get gear for free.

[riser4]

You could Telemark, at least then you would burn some calories and get exercise. Plus can typically get gear for free.

This.

[schuss]

You could Telemark, at least then you would burn some calories and get exercise. Plus can typically get gear for free.

I heard it was dead.

I'm still on the fence about it, but the comfy boot factor is compelling. That said, this isn't a democracy.

[bodywhomper]

Tele snowblade. New learning curve, won’t get tangled up dealing with kids skis when they fall, and can perfect the tele snowblade ski ballet moves.

[schuss]

Tele snowblade. New learning curve, won’t get tangled up dealing with kids skis when they fall, and can perfect the tele snowblade ski ballet moves.

Progressing the sport is not something I've done before.

[bodywhomper]

Progressing the sport is not something I've done before.

I tried my best for several years. I didn’t have snowblades, but I was the only person at Sugarbowl for working on (rudimentary) tele ski ballet while following young twins on groomers. You too can carry on torch and bare the burden!

My fatherhood ski anonymous recent claim, there are now 2 pairs on snowblades in our garage. In use by the kids. One of my 14 year olds feels that at least one monoski is required to truly round out the family quiver. I’m kinda thinking 2 may be needed….

[alpinevibes]

I tried my best for several years. I didn’t have snowblades, but I was the only person at Sugarbowl for working on (rudimentary) tele ski ballet while following young twins on groomers. You too can carry on torch and bare the burden!

My fatherhood ski anonymous recent claim, there are now 2 pairs on snowblades in our garage. In use by the kids. One of my 14 year olds feels that at least one monoski is required to truly round out the family quiver. I’m kinda thinking 2 may be needed….

Do it! I just got a mono and plan to use it with my twins while they progress. Might put in some tele days too

[DLD in UT]

Here's a good article for all you dads.
Parents, put down your phone cameras.

I have tried to be very intentional in when I am going to take pics and when I am just going to be with my kids. When they were little, I'd take out my nice camera once a month or so for a session at the playground, in the yard, etc to capture the age, but the rest of the time, I just wanted to be there with them. Now, as they are older 12 and 8, I am one of the few not recording at school plays, concerts, etc. I like seeing the little things they do and being able to really talk about it with them afterwards. Would I really go back and watch some recording of Jingle Bells in 2 years? Probably not, but they get to look out and see me just looking for them, making a funny face back at them, etc and not hidden behind my phone adjust zoom, exposure, etc. Maybe I'm a luddite, but so be it.

Take pics the first day on skis and on occasion after, and share here with us, but remember, being a parent is for them and your experience, you're not a documentary filmmaker. Just be with them.

[MagnificentUnicorn]

I was talking about this with my daughter yesterday, she works as an instructor. The parents will stand at the bottom of the magic carpet/rope tow for the entirety of a two hour lesson documenting everything and maintaining contact with the child the whole time. It’s crazy, go do something. She had a mom yesterday that waited at the bottom of the beginner chairlift to shout support, video and take pics of her precious children for two hours every lap.


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[californiagrown]

I was talking about this with my daughter yesterday, she works as an instructor. The parents will stand at the bottom of the magic carpet/rope tow for the entirety of a two hour lesson documenting everything and maintaining contact with the child the whole time. It’s crazy, go do something. She had a mom yesterday that waited at the bottom of the beginner chairlift to shout support, video and take pics of her precious children for two hours every lap.


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That will be my wife. She already does this at swim lessons, and 2yr old soccer practice. We have had discussions, and it is frustrating. It is much more for the mom's benefit, than it is to help the child (and IMO it detracts from the child learning and growing). This conflict is probably a discussion for another thread, but i lean toward the "controlled failure" and giving kids a lot of freedumb and independence (at least perceived) side of things. I think it instills more confidence, and life skills than having the mommy/daddy crutch always being right there for support every time junior gets a little frustrated, falls down, or wants something. My wife views this as disinterest/neglect. Obviously, this depends on the child, but in my case our kid is super social, smart, talkative and by all accounts thrives when away from my wife and I.

We are lucky that my FIL was a part time instructor for 15+ years (to help pay for his daughters skiing), so the plan is to have him teach our boy solo for the first few days to remove the mommy/daddy distraction and crutch. I'm gonna have to handcuff my wife to the steering wheel in the parking lot to keep her from being that mom you described above. SMH.

[yeahman]

It's easy to find a balance. It takes ten seconds to snap a pic of a memorable moment, then put it away. You may think you'll remember all those moments without pics, but you won't. Thinking you need to be "present" for every single second is kinda crazy.

As far as taking videos of shit like elementary school Christmas program, yeah that's stupid, you'll never watch it.

As for the ski lesson, in my mind those parents should have just been teaching the kid to ski themselves if they're not going to take advantage of the time. WTF

[schuss]

Yep, the only videos I've taken are of meets/performances where mom couldn't make it.
The swim meets have a healthy backing track of me cheering my son too.
I generally let my kids do their lessons separate from me, though I'll occasionally check in. Only exceptions were in a few team practices where they were clearly screwing around and I told them to listen to their coach and do the work.
Coach actually thanked me on that as they can be reticent to discipline given the crazy parents out there.

[bodywhomper]

I’m pretty sure I’ve written this a few times in this thread, all three of my kids ski like their dad tried to teach them and they ignored (almost) everything he said

[bodywhomper]

Do it! I just got a mono and plan to use it with my twins while they progress. Might put in some tele days too

Ha! It’s the 14 yo that wants to use the monoski . I’m more like, “let’s see some pole plants….”

[riser4]

Teleboard for the win.

[XXX-er]

My truck sales guy is usually a really good snow boarder but he skis with his 3 new young-ins cuz its easier to get around

Teleboard for the win.

When I bought a teleboard over the phone from one of the Fey brothers he suggested

"it would be different I would be the anti christ "

[Dromond]

Talk to me about threenagers. Ours has hit three with a bang:

-Just started preschool three weeks ago. Starting to adapt.
-Needs mom all the time
-Freaks out and bedtime and scared to be alone. Starts acting crazy when she is sleepy and doesn’t want me there. Says “I don’t love you dada. I don’t like you. Go away” while sometimes hitting me and throwing things. Totally new behavior.
-Refuses most food including food she recently loved, saying it is yucky.
-Refuses to get on the potty most of the time

A lot of this is likely precipitated by starting preschool which she is really starting to like, but the outbursts and extreme emotions are getting intense. It is a huge departure from age 2-2.5

[SkiLyft]

Ahhh yes, we are encroaching on the fuck you fours… making [emoji639] look like a walk in the park


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[Dromond]

[emoji638]][emoji640][emoji639]][emoji637][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji639]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji6[emoji640][emoji637]]][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji6[emoji640][emoji637]]][emoji638][emoji637]]Ahhh yes, we are encroaching on the fuck you fours… making [emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji639][emoji[emoji6[emoji640][emoji638]][emoji640][emoji6[emoji640][emoji637]]]] look like a walk in the park


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I am laughing and crying

[idahospud]

Talk to me about threenagers

.....

the outbursts and extreme emotions are getting intense. It is a huge departure from age 2-2.5

Three is the evil that dares not speak its name. Multiple friends said "oh, we didn't want to tell you about threes while you were in the twos." Thanks, guys!

Ahhh yes, we are encroaching on the fuck you fours… making 3 look like a walk in the park

We're pretty close to four and that tracks. I've never disliked my kid so much.

[SchralphMacchio]

My 3 yr 8 mo kid has no problem with me standing in 35F rain getting soaked while he locks the doors to the car and wanders around every seat while refusing to get into his car seat for like 10 minutes. Every fucking morning.

It’s a hard age. They are processing information so much differently, which I think also unlocks a lot of new fears and anxieties, and it manifests in extreme defiant behavior. And lots more hitting.

Meanwhile, I’m super happy with my 6 year old. Since she started kindergarten she’s really blossomed, and our relationship is sooooo much better than it used to be. She’s drawing me I Love You cards in after school care, with incredible handwriting quality too.

[Dromond]

It’s a hard age. They are processing information so much differently, which I think also unlocks a lot of new fears and anxieties, and it manifests in extreme defiant behavior. And lots more hitting

So it’s not just mine. A switch flipped and she started getting scared of the dark, some things in movies, random stuff. The defiance just exploded with her screaming “No!!!!” at weird times and tantrums over nothing followed by silly laughter. She almost never hit or threw things and now will do it impulsively when vulnerable/tired. It’s not like she ever saw anyone else do this, she’s just compelled to.

She is still adorable, insanely cute and loveable when not flipping out or refusing to pee for 9 hours. She made friends with a little boy at preschool, singing songs at home about what good friends they were and how much she missed him. I think having to be strong and fit in with a group all day takes a lot of energy and control, leading her to be fatigued and lash out at home. At bedtime tonight it was “Dada GO AWAY!!! No, sit here!!! (Next to me.) I DON’T LOVE YOU!!” Shortly after, we all pretended to be dinosaurs eating each other while giggling. ?

[MagnificentUnicorn]

Okay, I have two independent adult daughters, they’re great humans certainly better than I am. What I’m hearing about your three year olds acting up is a lack of discipline. I’m not talking corporal punishment. You are their parent not their friend at that point. They are challenging you to see what your response is. This might not even be conscious on their part. It’s your job to set boundaries even if you have to be stern. They might not like it at first but it’s necessary.


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[TransplantedFromRMNP]

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[SchralphMacchio]

Okay, I have two independent adult daughters, they’re great humans certainly better than I am. What I’m hearing about your three year olds acting up is a lack of discipline. I’m not talking corporal punishment. You are their parent not their friend at that point. They are challenging you to see what your response is. This might not even be conscious on their part. It’s your job to set boundaries even if you have to be stern. They might not like it at first but it’s necessary.


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Yes, part of this age involves testing boundaries. My 3 year old responds to time limits using timers and counting down. He is also trying to seek a reaction from me, just like my daughter did at this age. And also 3 year olds have a lot of things just going on. My kid genuinely loves playing in the car, and he also can use it as a way to avoid other things.

I came from a household where at any age, you were either with the program or in the corner by yourself on your knees. My wife and I have chosen not to raise our kids that way, which is fine, except I have nothing to fall back on apart from frustration when my ability to think consciously about the situation and options for navigating it fall apart.

What does work well is when I can recognize the root cause of the kid’s behavior. In one case, my son has become very worried about going to preschool because he is afraid of other kids and the new teachers. The thing is, he loves his school and won’t go home when I pick him up in the afternoons. But in the morning he won’t get in or out of the car etc. Last week I gave him my beanie and I told him it has special powers to help him be invisible and brave. We had a dropoff without tears.

Also last night I spent the night in his bed because he climbed into ours at 3 AM worried about who knows what and then crowded me out. Maybe we are too tired to try to force him to face his separation anxiety at 3 AM. Maybe he’s just having a hard age because he used to sleep in his bed just fine. Maybe he’s testing limits. Maybe this is a lack of discipline.

I have no idea, I just know he’s a good kid and it’s a hard age and we are doing the best we can.