Fatherhood anonymous; an open discussion on being a dad.

[phatty]

Took my 13yo daughter (youngest of 5 kids) out for our first backpacking trip just the two of us. She loved it and is looking for more. I've taken her 4 older brothers out lots of times, so she was happy to get her turn. Getting kids out is one of the best parts of being a dad.

[The SnowShow]

^**sp great!

[BmillsSkier]

Love the dad stoke.

Phatty, that last shot is incredible. Is that Rainier in the distance?

[phatty]

Love the dad stoke.

Phatty, that last shot is incredible. Is that Rainier in the distance?

Yep. We hiked to Ingalls Lake and camped to beat the weekend hoardes. From the pass, there's an amazing view with peekaboo Rainier views even down to Adams in the south (far left in this picture).

[BmillsSkier]

Stunning! Stoked for you and your daughter.

Btw, the alpenglow and that lone aspen just are *chef's kiss*

[tgapp]

damn phatty, that is some really great stoke. glad she had fun!!

it's shit like that which makes me want to have kids

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[SkiLyft]

Solid stoke!!

Kids are no joke in terms of becoming your priority. For people like us who enjoy freedom and pursuits of gnar you need a partner who is okay taking on >50% of the parental responsibilities to let you chase your gravity fix from time to time.

In summary; before going down the kids look fun, maybe I want one or two line of thought. Look hard at your partner and ask them how much do they want it… if you’re both not in it 1000% I’ve seen many resent the change in priorities for the small few years when you get to be apart of these humans life’s everyday!


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[schuss]

Eh, it doesn't have to be that way. My wife and I are fairly 50/50 split, with us each taking our own trips. It means you don't get out as often, and for me it meant putting the skis away for a bit when they were very young (also had a herniated disc I was rehabbing, so wasn't totally that). I think the most important thing is there's communication and agreement on priorities and schedules with some flexibility for opportunity. In my example, my wife has had a ton of hiking trips over the past 6-9 months as it's been better hiking weather than climbing, skiing or mountain biking, but I'll be taking more trips soon.
I would totally agree that before having kids there's a frank discussion on the actual impacts it will have to time and leisure, as I've seen that lead to a lot of enmity and issues.

[hatchgreenchile]

SkiLyft - The math is not mathing.
There are seasons of life, and they are usually inopportune and lengthy. That 50/50 balance is always our goal, but it's not a month to month thing and is not necessarily measured in time.

[SchralphMacchio]

In-laws, ski areas with daycares, outdoor couples with similar aged kids, and just straight up paying babysitters all really really really help a lot. We try to camp with a biking and skiing family that has a similar aged kid to our oldest quite often. It allows moms to go ski/ride and then dads go ski/ride, or each couple goes out. Or we all go ride together with the kids on the top tube.

Sure there are way way way way less all day gnar adventure rides or ski tours, and you start to really treasure those solo 45 minute ski lift or short rides, and 2 hour ride or ski also gets more expensive when you are paying folks to help the other partner or watch the kids, but it makes these things possible without the at-home partner about to explode from screaming 2-4 year olds while the other is out shredding!

Ultimately it comes down to values, shared values, shared vision with your partner. You might not always agree on how, but you should agree as closely as possible on the what and why, in terms of a vision for what your best lives look like with the kid(s), what’s most important for each and all, and why that’s important. If you agree on that then you can probably come to terms with the how.

We’re very much a work in progress on this, but I know my wife and I definitely get to ski and bike much more often than other parents with similar aged kids, and we just treasure those 45 minute solo sessions so much now.

[californiagrown]

ski areas with daycares,.

can we get a list of these, please?

[SchralphMacchio]

Whistler, Bachelor, (edit), the Heave as well.

Prepare to hoist your jaw off the floor using a shovel, crane, or other tool of your choice after seeing the rates though.

Our podunk hill (Hoodoo) had one pre-pandemic and they have decided not to get it up and running again post pandemic, siiiiiiiigh. We were there like a month before shutdown with our 13 month old kid, jumping with excitement that the following season we were going to be able to put her in and ski together. Still getting over that loss, haha!

[phatty]

Whistler, Bachelor, (edit), the Heave as well.

Prepare to hoist your jaw off the floor using a shovel, crane, or other tool of your choice after seeing the rates though.

Our podunk hill (Hoodoo) had one pre-pandemic and they have decided not to get it up and running again post pandemic, siiiiiiiigh. We were there like a month before shutdown with our 13 month old kid, jumping with excitement that the following season we were going to be able to put her in and ski together. Still getting over that loss, haha!

I grew up skiing Hoodoo and miss that place.

Ski areas, particularly the local hills, need to bring this stuff back. I have friends older than me (I'm 48) who regale me with stories of having their kids in the daycare at the hill. Snoqualmie/Alpental has "lessons" starting at 3yo, but it's really daycare with some snow play. It costs the same as lessons and sells out in minutes.

We did a lot of trading with other families and paying for babysitters. Our kids started lessons when they were 4. At one point we had all 5 kids in lessons. I worked as an instructor 1 night a week so we could get discounts on passes and lessons. Since then lesson prices have doubled and pass prices are up 25%. I don't know how families like mine do it now, though I have gotten a few younger friends into teaching as well. I will say that my skiing improved significantly during the time I was an instructor.

[SchralphMacchio]

Not gonna lie, the Doo RV program has been a game changer, and having a high income partner so that I can have the time to keep the RV turned over midweek so that we can do back to back ski weekends on the hill have all been absolutely awesome. Being parked at bottom of Ed chair and running hot laps under the lights after dinner while my wife is getting them dressed for bed, then skiing right to the back of the trailer at 9 PM and reading a book to my daughter until she passes out is so damn awesome. The Doo is a very special place.

[alpinevibes]

can we get a list of these, please?

Snowmass

[ghosthop]

can we get a list of these, please?

Snowbird does as well

The eyes wide open approach was most important for our family before having our son. My recreation looks a lot different than it did before him but I’ve really learned to enjoy the slow days. And then you get to spend an afternoon sharing views like this with your 14 month old. He was more excited about playing with the rocks than the views.

[californiagrown]

Snowbird does as well

The eyes wide open approach was most important for our family before having our son. My recreation looks a lot different than it did before him but I’ve really learned to enjoy the slow days. And then you get to spend an afternoon sharing views like this with your 14 month old. He was more excited about playing with the rocks than the views.

Yeah. My philosophy has so far been keep doing everything i used to do, just catered towards my kid (slower, shorter, more snacks, and a shitton of rock stacking). So ive taken him skiing, MTBing, hiking, random wandering and mucking about in the woods etc... really showing him how fun and interesting i think mountain/forest stuff is. He loves it. My wife's preferred recreation with him is more classic kid stuff like the playground, museum, zoo, playdates etc which is the time/resource- suck that i was hoping to mostly avoid.

constantly working on adjusting the balance to get it closer to ideal. always a work in progress i suppose.

[SchralphMacchio]

We will mountain bike to a creek and then spend like 20 minutes throwing rocks into the water. Then ride back. Fun for all!

[Dromond]

Whistler, Bachelor, (edit), the Heave as well.

Prepare to hoist your jaw off the floor using a shovel, crane, or other tool of your choice after seeing the rates though.

Our podunk hill (Hoodoo) had one pre-pandemic and they have decided not to get it up and running again post pandemic, siiiiiiiigh. We were there like a month before shutdown with our 13 month old kid, jumping with excitement that the following season we were going to be able to put her in and ski together. Still getting over that loss, haha!

$139 for a day at Bachelor. Ouch. If anyone knows of other places I am all ears


https://www.mtbachelor.com/the-mount...rvices/daycare

[lowsparkco]

To each their own, I waited until I was grandfather age to have my one and only kid. So, I chased the dream without that obligation until the dream was over, or real life became the dream, however you want to look at it.

One smile from my daughter gives me more pleasure than any line I’ve ever skied, waterfall I’ve hucked, or other outdoor experience. I was more scared than I’ve ever been in my life when I found out my wife was pregnant. If I knew what I know now I would have had one a long time ago.

[SkiLyft]

I would totally agree that before having kids there's a frank discussion on the actual impacts it will have to time and leisure, as I've seen that lead to a lot of enmity and issues.

Bingo, more what I meant!

There are seasons of life, and they are usually inopportune and lengthy. That 50/50 balance is always our goal, but it's not a month to month thing and is not necessarily measured in time.

True, despite aiming for 50/50 in our partnership, there has been many times the girls just want their mom and their is nothing I can do… of course when that happens I make it up in other ways, cooking/cleaning… just communication is at the foundation of it.

Ultimately it comes down to values, shared values, shared vision with your partner. You might not always agree on how, but you should agree as closely as possible on the what and why, in terms of a vision for what your best lives look like with the kid(s), what’s most important for each and all, and why that’s important. If you agree on that then you can probably come to terms with the how.

We’re very much a work in progress on this, but I know my wife and I definitely get to ski and bike much more often than other parents with similar aged kids, and we just treasure those 45 minute solo sessions so much now.

Couldn’t agree more; really nailed it here.

That said; I think e-bikes were invented for dads. They maximize fun when you don’t have endless hours to prioritize peak fitness!

We’re away from family but our nanny is the glue that holds this family together!



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[bodywhomper]

Fuck waiting for 12. Start 'em young.

Ha!

We waited a bit for the older to start running a saw. He’s 17.

My youngers started lighting small broadcast burn on our little property starting at age 10.

Ski hills: wife and I moved to be closer to the snow when our first kid was 2, knowing that there’d be professional/fiscal adverse impact compared to a career trajectory of continuing to live in a large metro area. We try to keep our expenses generally low in life. Never have been able to or tried to afford ski school or kiddo day care at the ski hills. Often taking turns at the lodge with me having more time with skis on. I volunteer at a hill, which helps a lot with expenses, but means less time free skiing on my own or with my kids. My kids look self taught, which is mostly true, but they ski pretty well and have a lot of fun doing it. My oldest is a pretty solid skier.

My wife and I don’t keep score, but we communicate when it feels like a bit too much single parenting.

[Touring_Sedan]

Ha!

We waited a bit for the older to start running a saw. He’s 17.



My youngers started lighting small broadcast burn on our little property starting at age 10.

He's pretty good with the edger and what boy doesn't like torching shit?

[Iowagriz]

What is that mini-torch? Looks perfect for the sidewalk and street weeds.

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[Touring_Sedan]

What is that mini-torch? Looks perfect for the sidewalk and street weeds.

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https://www.bernzomatic.com/Products...er-Start/JT850

I think I picked it up from Lowes or Home Depot.