bullshit your dog gets into

[I've seen black diamonds!]

My dad had a Bassett hound that ate:

A bandana
A bad of cough drops with the wrappers
A bag of Lindt chocolates with the wrappers
A peach cobbler and some of the pyrex glass that shattered when he pulled it off the counter
Lot's of other fucked up stuff.

He was fine.

Only bad thing our current dog does is piss on kid's toys when they're left outside.

[BC.]

This is a great thread....lmao at these stories....

[criscam]

I text my wife one wknd while I was away to see how things were going (youngest kid was in potty training).
Wife: “Well, Jameson just shit in the yard and Ollie came by and ate it. How are you?”

Dog also once ate a Costco size jar of powdered baby formula.


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[bagtagley]

Back to the yellow Lab. He ate a whole tub of Vaseline once. The mess on the other end was exactly what you’d expect.

Similar results when he ate a baking sheet of bacon grease, including most of the foil.

His latest obsession is the packing material that comes in the Imperfect Foods boxes. It’s some biodegradable packing peanuts between two sheets of paper. Ate an entire sheet and part of the box the first time. That one caused some issues for a few days.

[goldenboy]

My roomate years ago was living in Whistler and headed back to Crested Butte in the spring. Along the way, he stopped at a beach in Oregon, where his dog found a dead seal and rolled around in it for a while. Swear to got that dog still had the faint smell of dead seal when my roomate was headed back to Whistler the following ski season.

[whipski]

bringing some beers and a bottle of wine into a friends house yesterday when his whippet and my golden rounded the corner of the house going mach 10. swept my feet right out from underneath me. no alcohol was lost in the carnage.

[2bjenny]

I once asked a friend that’s a veterinarian about strange things she’s removed from a lab’s stomach. She said 12 Barbie doll heads. The most disturbing part of it was that the family didn’t notice their kids dolls were missing their heads.

I have both a yellow and black lab. Luckily they don’t counter surf. The yellow one likes paper towels and tissues. The black one, once she turned two, started to leave stuff alone. She did eat part of my car seat while a puppy. Thankfully it was a little section that could be matched and repaired easily. Guy who did the repair told me a lady had been by his shop earlier that week whose new dog completely destroyed the back and front passenger seat down to the metal in her new car.

[Crock]

I bought my house 4 years ago. The previous owner had a giant mastiff who apparently had a panty fetish. The yard is fenced in, and they didn't clean up the dog shit before they moved out. After the initial cleanup, I found about a dozen panties in the dog turds and thought it was excessive. Then I did a spring cleaning and raked out all the leaves, mulch etc and found about a dozen more. As recently as last fall, while doing some minor landscaping, I unearthed more panties. Which has me wondering... did the wife not notice she was losing panties at an excessive rate? Did she just not care? You'd think eventually if you couldn't curb the behavior, you'd at least stop leaving them around for the panty gobbler to hoover them up and deposit in the yard...

[old goat]

We used to have 2 Irish setters. We drove down to my MIL's little place in Mexico--Puerto Penasco--and both dogs immediately rolled in a dead, decaying dolphin. We washed them as best we could and made them stay outside but the 4 hour drive back to Tucson 2 days later was not pleasant.

[easyrdr]

My dog was a malamute/wolf mix. He loved all dogs but any wild animal he would either kill or try to kill. Squirrels, mice, rabbits, porcupines, skunks, and deer. Many stories for sure.

One of my favorites was when I was in undergrad at Michigan State. Every day after class I would let the dog off leash on campus at the bell tower, nice big green space with large trees. On this particular day we had about a cm of snow on the ground, just enough to make the ground all white. I let the dog off leash to run around, about 5 minutes in I spot a squirrel about 50ft away from the nearest tree and make a dive for my dog as I know he can catch it. Sure enough he saw it too and is just out of my reach. He catches the squirrel, precedes to shake it hard, blood squirts all over his white snout and all over the snow. I am yelling at him to drop it as his is doing a victory trot/keep away game with me. I finally slide tackle the dog. He drops the squirrel and I'm using snow to get the blood off his face. At this point I have 3 or 4 fellow students watching in different states of shock/horror. Out of the corner of my eye I see the squirrel trying to move but his entire rear end no longer works. It's obvious he is dying. So I wrap up the blood cleaning on the dog and plan on finishing off the squirrel so he doesn't have to suffer when I get approached by a student that starts the conversation with "I saw what your dog did." Followed by what are you going to do about it. I tell him I'm sorry and explain I will put the squirrel out of his misery. With that he blocks my path to the squirrel and insists I take it to the vet. I just sort of stare at him with a WTF look. With that he takes off his down coat, wraps the bloody squirrel in it and starts walking in nothing but a t-shirt to the vet clinic about a 25 minute walk. It was probably 20 degrees outside. I just stood there for a moment watching him walk away then turned and went the exact opposite direction. Didn't walk the dog on campus for a good month after that.

[Harry]

i ended up pulling a pair of underwear out of his ass the other day when he couldn't shit it out.

The previous owner had a giant mastiff who apparently had a panty fetish. I found about a dozen panties in the dog turds...

SyF’s post would be even better if that redheads panties were involved.



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[ill-advised strategy]

My old coyote dog used to get elk legs from my buddy, and she would just be in another world gnawing for hours. She loved that shit so much she wouldn’t let me take them away.

So now, with the little floofy fox-sized dog, we have a tradition that lil buddy gets a frozen bunny to gnaw every winter.

Here he is, just bein’ a tiny wolf


We used to have dozens and dozens of bunns around, and usually in the winter he would find leftovers from a bird kill, so since it was winter and fresh-frozen I’d let him carry it home and enjoy a winter of gnawing.
Last year’s gnawbunn was just a bunhead. He managed to crunch it up...he had bun teeth in his turds. Lol.
Now, red foxes have eradicated our bunns, so this year I got a frozen bunbody from a dogwalking friend’s yard. He only got a few days of gnawing before a fox came and got it overnight.

[The Tortoise]

Our 8 month old Shepherd mix seems to have a thing for power cords. He's gone through a chromebook charger, my headphone cable, an extension cord and a power cable for the treadmill.

[stealurface831]

SyF’s post would be even better if that redheads panties were involved.



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the redhead is now a utard. moved to PC just the other day.

[::: :::]

When we were in nyc, our lab/foxhound mix would find human poo in the park & snarf it up. It was by the far the worst smell she ever managed to retain on her body & she loved rolling in a variety of smelly things.

[liv2ski]

Thank god they out grow these behaviors because if I had to deal with a steady stream of bathing Maya because she rolled in the worst shit ever or pulling paper towels out of Gunther's ass constantly, I would become just a cat person.

[stealurface831]

Thank god they out grow these behaviors because if I had to deal with a steady stream of bathing Maya because she rolled in the worst shit ever or pulling paper towels out of Gunther's ass constantly, I would become just a cat person.

none of the labs i have had outgrow their bullshit. mine are both three and going full force. before that, my 10 y/o yellow was always into something.

[Grange]

My brittany has chewed and destroyed three remote controls so far. My setter was never much for dog toys, but when she does show interest she doesn't just chew them she eats them. Luckily so far she's been able to pass the toy or was able to throw them up.

[BmillsSkier]

worked in a shop where the office gal had five border collies, yeah five

weirdest story she had was about one of em got into her husband's tool grip and ate some razor blades, she told me that was the most expensive doggo surgery ever. removed three from her stomach and one from her intestine

My border collie when he was 2 years old (who turns 15 in April and is going strong, thank God), somehow got into my wife's purse that was way back on the kitchen counter, a feat in and of itself.

Back then she was in a high stress position and carried a small prescription bottle of low dose Xanax, maybe about 30 tablets or so.

So, the world's smartest breed found this bottle once he was on top of the counter and proceeded to very neatly pry it open and eat every last one.

We came home from a date and were greeted by a very drunk looking pup. He would wag his tail and it would literally reverberate forward throughout his body - a real life embodiment of the saying.

He'd take two steps and start listing to port or starboard, correct himself, then try again. It was like finding your drunk roommate in the dorms trying to navigate the hallway from the elevators to his room.

We had no clue what was wrong for about an hour as we scoured the house to see what he got into. Upon finding the pill bottle, still in her purse, we called the emergency vet.

We rush him to the vet hospital only to find out that vets give dogs Xanax all the time for anxiety and that despite all outward appearances, he should be ok. To be safe they pumped his stomach and put him on a fluid IV to help dilute it out. A couple grand and a lot of stress later we're heading home with one happy, but still fucked up, pup.

Apparently he has a tolerance like his humans because he was rearing to go the next morning before sunrise.

[MontuckyFried]

WTF is up with labs? Including my late lab mutt. They are some loves, but good God they must be the most disgusting breed by and large. My old girl LOVED rolling in (and eating) pig shit, bear shit, human shit, you name it. She was quite the poop connoisseur. Rolling in rotting elk carcasses happened daily and got old REAL quick. I got pretty tired of bathing her in freezing weather. Always did make me laugh in the end though. Freaking disgusting. Guts made out of steel.

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[bagtagley]

none of the labs i have had outgrow their bullshit. mine are both three and going full force. before that, my 10 y/o yellow was always into something.

This. If anything Hobbes (yellow Lab) is getting worse in his old age. He'll get into stuff right in front of us now, zero fucks given.

[stealurface831]

This. If anything Hobbes (yellow Lab) is getting worse in his old age. He'll get into stuff right in front of us now, zero fucks given.

yep. zero shame.

here he is as is type, trying to lick my keyboard.

we've got bells on our door knobs for them to ring when they need to go outside. my silver loves to bark in the night. he will ring the bell around 7, go outside, fuck around in the yard for about two minutes then proceed to bark until we get him back in. he doesn't respond to "treat" anymore and takes off as soon as he sees us at the door. sometimes a chase ensues, other times we get the hand drill out, the noise of which causes him to hightail it inside to hide in the closet. once inside, he will chill for five or so minutes before ringing the bell again. *ring ring* and then he proceeds to turn around and stare directly at us until we acknowledge him.

he is an asshole.

[Flyoverland Captive]

LOL, Who is training who? ^^^

[steff]

Labs, yup... not fussy eaters
Ate a bag of corn... de--husked, ate the kernels, left the cobs... weird shit for days.
Ate underwear, vinyl siding, garden hose, butter, seatbelts, books, also did a good job keeping the cats litter box clean.

[stealurface831]

i forgot about how my mom used to put pumpkins on our front porch during the thanksgiving seasons. all sizes, from watermelon down to apple. beau (the silver) would start picking them off a few days after they were placed. we'd look outside to see him trotting around with a pumpkin twice the size of his head. then he'd move to the driveway and drop it until it broke upon to feast upon. talk about weird shits. looked like pumpkin pie.